Thank goodness! They were only negative in the first
chapter and here could have been fatal. Hope that you
clear up some of the mysteries along the road!
by
Anonymous04/22/08
Good man!
I'm enjoying this story and looking forward to the next chapter.
by
Anonymous04/22/08
interesting
very good story with interesting possibilities for further development. Keep it up and don't wait long with the rest of the story. G.Belgium
He's a really good man and so sweet with the baby. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
by
Anonymous05/12/08
I liked it,
But the story could use some editing to make the writing tighter. I don't mean grammar; you skip around like you are in a hurry, and use dialog to move the story too much. Some more non-dialog descriptions and narration would make the story flow better.
English
Different
Like it, hope you keep going.
No Surprises in this chapter
Thank goodness! They were only negative in the first
chapter and here could have been fatal. Hope that you
clear up some of the mysteries along the road!
Good man!
I'm enjoying this story and looking forward to the next chapter.
interesting
very good story with interesting possibilities for further development. Keep it up and don't wait long with the rest of the story. G.Belgium
I like it.
Good story just keep writing. Very interesting.
Interesting start
He's a really good man and so sweet with the baby. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
I liked it,
But the story could use some editing to make the writing tighter. I don't mean grammar; you skip around like you are in a hurry, and use dialog to move the story too much. Some more non-dialog descriptions and narration would make the story flow better.
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