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English
Way Too Short
I really like this...thank you for sharing and I am hoping that there will be more soon.
hmm
Wonder what happens when he finds out about Fitz? Please update soon!
Love it!
Love it! This is a great story! Cant wait to find out how jake reacts! Cant wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! Thanks!!
GREAT BUT TOO SHORT
Please try to make the submissions a bit longer but great work cant wait for the update (WHICH I HOPE WILL BE SOON!)
Getting better...
Okay, I like this chapter a bit better. I figured she'd end up pregnant from the rape. I think Heidi and Jake still have a lot to talk about before they can become friends or even lovers. Looking forward to the next chapter.
awww! I need another chapter!
This story is really breaking my hearT! Please post asap!
since when....
do four year olds take the bus?
i went to a private school so im not really familiar, but don't you have to be in a certain grade/a certain age to ride the bus?
really nice work!
Yeah, there may be some minor flaws (q.v. earlier comments), but this story is on track for some really beautiful stuff. I'm looking forward to future chapters.
-- KK in Texas
t
OMG!
i loved it! it made me cry it was so sweet!
i know, i'm weird.
wow...
I guess I'm different. I'm not seeing what's so "sweet" about this story. He raped her 4 years ago, then he comes back with a very weak apology, an insulting "you looked so beautiful the night I raped you", and then he kisses her and says "come back to my house. Huh? what am I missing? where is the great romance that others are commenting on? Ladies, we clearly need to up our standards if this is what we're considering a "sweet"/"bring tears to the eyes" romance.
cute!
this story is so sweet and romantic! love it!
A few adjustments
Four year olds are pre-schoolers, not kindergarteners. I think this story could be a good basis for a really interesting twist on romance. I think you need to expand on it though, give more character development. Why does Jake rape her? How does that fit into his personality and how will you turn that around into something that gives him integrity as an adult? Why doesn't she tell him about the baby, etc. I think this could be a really fantastic story with some work. Looking forward to reading the rest!
fitzroy? really
you might as well just tattoo "bastard" on your son's forehead!
dammit
I KNEW she got a baby! T_T It's just sad, this is reality for many girls in real life....! Keep writing please! Would love a good ending
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