Unexpected Guest Ch. 06

Yay!

Ive waited for this one for a while. I'm happy to see it posted! thank you

wow!

that was the best chapter - i can't wait to see what you come up with next!

agreed

Loved it! Excited to see the next one.
Cheers

Loved it!!!

Awesome read, post a new chapter soon please please please!!

Love it!

Wow great one! Cant wait for the next chapter! Thanks!!

Lovely work

Very tender and arousing story that makes turnabout fair play! I love how realistic the scenario seems and the detail you lavish upon the two of them. Please keep up the fantastic work, as I'll be looking forward to more of your writing!

My one niggling detail that stood out: certain catch phrases were repeated a lot, up to every paragraph or so. "Scream of joy" comes to mind. It pops out a lot at me, interrupting the flow of the story, and becomes pretty distracting after a while. Diversifying this a bit more, or simply keeping it to basics (scream, shriek, cried out, wailed, gasped, moaned, and so forth) would be my one critique for improvement.

ohmy...

Mmm, that was so worth it!

oh, wow!

I desperately need more!

OMG!!!!

that was sooo juicy i can't wait to see what happens next

cumming!!!

that was soooo hot. i wanted to cum juicily with them

I am enjoying your story alot. I just think it was too soon to have him think about finding a way to make her want to stay with him since 2 days before he was saying it struck a chord in him when she made comments about him being unable to commit. Other than that I think the chapter was great. He is clearly showing her alot about being with someone who wants to pleasure you since she clearly is real wrapped up in giving rather than receiving.

Very good, but typos

Tons of typos in this. I was able to get by because of the pace and energy of the story, but there are too many typos for what I can tell is excellent quality work. You are an excellent writer, but perhaps you should have an editor read through. I look forward to more!