Lovely story, slightly short, but still a lovely short story. Look forward to there next break encounter, when Dan gets to return the favour.
by
Anonymous05/05/08
Good one for the first time
I enjoyed it. Just one comment: You wrote - over at him and he was intense on what - that word should be "intent".
by
Anonymous05/05/08
Great first effort!
Good mechanics (grammar, spelling, etc) and the story moved right along. Although I was a mite surprised he didn't tit-fuck her, since he was an admitted "breast man" and she was sporting 42-Ds? Maybe later....
I enjoyed your story. The transition from sympathetic friends to lovers was handled sensitively and tapped into a nice sexual vibration. I look forward to seeing their relationship grow. Very very nice work for a first effort. You have a definite talent; don't agonize over grammar and usage. Just let your story keep unfolding.
English
Roll on break time!!!
Lovely story, slightly short, but still a lovely short story. Look forward to there next break encounter, when Dan gets to return the favour.
Good one for the first time
I enjoyed it. Just one comment: You wrote - over at him and he was intense on what - that word should be "intent".
Great first effort!
Good mechanics (grammar, spelling, etc) and the story moved right along. Although I was a mite surprised he didn't tit-fuck her, since he was an admitted "breast man" and she was sporting 42-Ds? Maybe later....
I look foward to reading moew!
Keep writing!
I enjoyed your story. The transition from sympathetic friends to lovers was handled sensitively and tapped into a nice sexual vibration. I look forward to seeing their relationship grow. Very very nice work for a first effort. You have a definite talent; don't agonize over grammar and usage. Just let your story keep unfolding.
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