by LeManne
Your posted story was good,and I think if you keep on writing you'll get even better.Some readers will give you rough reviews,so be it. At least you are writing,that's more than most of the readers are doing.Post another story,you might even add a second chapter to your existing post,but keep writing.
Thank You
Rich
I stop reading when I see crap like "10 inches". If you want to write you have to make it believable and aside from the errors in your writting it was not worth continuing.
Nobody wants to hear you overcompensate for a little dick.
Could have used some improvement in spelling and grammer that an editor would have caught. I laughed at "soaping wet" and a couple other spelling distractions. But moreover the story line was good and I appreciated the tail!
you need to stop playing with yourself (whether literally or metaphorically or both), if you is gonna attempt to rite erotica. <p>
remember, dispite the bullshit saying, you ain't riting it for yerself; you's writing for others, so don't tell us how you move the hands. erotica requires ojective and distant description: that's how you get to feel and see intimate acts ---- but you jerk while tryin' to rite, it ain't gonna work well.
Sounds like you're bragging about yourself. 10 inch dick OR how well-built you are from weight lifting. Braggers aren't cool. Why does the 10 inch dick have to be a part of the story anyway? That ruined it from the get-go. I didn't finish after reading about 6 or 7 paragraphs.
The only thing 10" and thick is this guy's turds.
make your mom's tits 44FFF and your dick 16 inches long and 14 inches in circumference. These stories are pitiful.
Hell even larger; I don't know why that bothers everyone so much. I didn't care for the writing so much; the story has something but your writing lacks. Keep at it. As far as the size of the cock, there are plenty of sites that prove they do exist.
Like a few others, the 10 inch dick put me right off, also 17/19 o'clock etc. Story was riddled with spelling errors too. Try using a spell check next time. I suggest you read other incest stories and see how to build and write a story properly. But at least you submitted it.
in Portugal we do have 10" inches cocks! mine is 22cms long! great story. latina moms are the best, as they moan louder than any other! força Portugal
i was confused about his age.one line said he 18 and the other said he ony 17.doeen't sound right
I enjoyed this story thoroughly as it came out quite real. I don't really care if there are english or grammar mistakes - the writer isn't even english speaking so give the guy a break.
All in all the story was hot and both my wife and I got very horny reading it.
We would like to read some more.
i absolutely know your penis is 10 inches, i mean only with a blood loss to your brain because of that zise is it possible that you can think someone actually its gonna believe this.
I want to suck on my mothers huge puffy nipples while I slam my cock up mums sloppy cunthole.
Me and my mom always checked eachother out during showers, she has a very sexy body, nice 38c tits, big round ass, i stroke everyday wanting and needing my mothers sexy body in her new sexy lingerie, she has a nice trimmed pussy that i need to lick and fuck everyday, i cum in her sexy panties alot and imagine her reverse cowgirl so i can watch as her amazing pussy strokes my shaft and her big ass bounces as i fill her with cum
I like the comment by the reader who wrote gang bang my mother. He writes about his mother's vagina--the same vagina he came out of--and calls it "my mother's cunthole." I love it when a boy thinks of his own mother's vagina as her "cunthole." It's so raw and dirty. I bet there are lots of sons who secretly think that way.
I have to agree the story did feel rushed. Work on the character development even if it a flash fiction they should have some depth to them, not this hollow thing you portray as a mother and son. That being said, the story has potential. A little polishing here and there, some build up between mother and son not this wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Then it would be a good story, but as is it's very lack lustered. Check out silkstockinglovers or any of the other authors on here you can get an idea on how and where you want to take your writing.
Regards,
Soul71
A spell-checker & proof reader would have done wonders for this author, Good plot, shame about the small mistakes that spoil it !!!