All Comments on 'Visit to the Glory Hole'

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The whole story sounds like to middle school students playing. The story needs and editor. Some errors are glaring like "I turned bright read", I guess when others read him he was bright? Oh yes, maybe you meant turned bright red. Sorry I just dont get turned on when reading stories by having to think about what the writer meant to say instead of what was written. Spellcheck wont correct misspelled words that are real words spelled correctly. I gave you a 25 just because I did manage to get thru the story looking for a glimmer of light, never found it tho.........

Lose the "you did this" and "you did that"; instead, give your female character a name with "she did this" or "she did that".

Writing in second-person "you" infers that the author expects the reader to identify with being this one specific character in the tale instead of any of the others. I really can't identify with this character. If I were on that side of the "sex is something women have and men want" double standard, wouldn't I want to be able to choose my partner and have him be a whole person instead of a disembodied penis sticking out of a hole in a wall?

Maybe I could identify with the narrator watching this in shocked disbelief. Maybe.

If you want me to identify with the female lead? Please explain why I would want to have sex with a disembodied anonymous penis or stop identifying this character as "you". She's not me. I don't understand her motivations as they make no sense.