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Not bad, but needs a little polish
Great plot and premise for a hot story. However, a little more attention to the grammar and use of dialogue would really make your story pop and easier to read. Suggest you try to stick to one character's point of view as sometimes it was hard to know who was doing what in your story. I did like the main character's attitude, submissive and fulfilled to please others. So few are like that, most being selfish for their own gratification. Keep at it.
AGAIN!
Just all those people watching. And the strangers one after another...
Wow, just... WOW!
I so want something like this to happen to me!!!
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