All Comments  for

Rita, A Wife Seduced

byr1r1©
All
Comments (11)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous08/13/08

Good story, but....

Why did you rush the ending?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by LustHose08/13/08

The pace @ the end diminished the work

Excellent concept, many things to like about the story, BUT....proofing, typos and such impose upon your audience. Clean it up. On the plus side, racy stuff. My experience with Asian gals are limited but the word "firecracker" comes to mind. Keep at it!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous08/13/08

great first

I loved your seduction. It was hot, especially with Rita's weak protests. You easily could have added to the story by sharing how this seduction affected her marriage. Would she pay for her desires? She must have known what was going to happen when she went back to his office on Saturday. If she hadn't wanted it she would have avoided the doctor, or at least not entered the office and closed the door.

Please write again. You have good talent. Use an editor. It's hard to edit our own stuff. Perhaps you could do a chapter 2 on this story. We would like to find out more about what happens to this character.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous08/13/08

A nice story for the wimps and faggots.

This story was totally disgusting and I hope her husband find out what kind of slut he's married to and throw her overboard. No man needs a slut like this.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by digdaddyrich08/14/08

most readers of erotic stories don't care

when reading an erotic story,i don't care if the wife is a slut, the bigger the slut the better the story.Your story has its good points, and the story line was excellent.I think you should write a series about the doctor,make him the main character, and tell his adventures.That could lead into a multi-chapter story.All you need to do is use a spell checker and you will be in good shape. thanks for the good post....Rich

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous08/14/08

why don't you

learn the PROCESS of basic writing, first, before actually sitting down to banging out a story?

++++++++++++++++

"Rita do you want my cock, he asked."

"Yes she said, yes I want your cock now."

With that he pushed his huge cock in her tight but wet pussy and gently spread her apart. She felt this massive thing filling her , yes yes she moaned as he started to bury deep in her .

She placed her hands on his shoulders and held him as his cock could moved even deeper in her .

"Yes so good, oh yes, do it to me she said.

"Do what to you Rita, what do you want?"

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Scorpio4408/14/08

Almost

The need for an editor is evident. I encourage you to continue to write... and to learn from an editor. The story idea was/is a good one.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by JADED_ONE196908/15/08

Nope!

Just another weak willed wife and a dumb husband.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by don8765411/11/08

Pregged?

Send her home pregnant with the doctor's round-eyed baby.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/03/09

predaotor, slut and naive husband

hopefully consequnces for doctor and wife is ex-wife

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/10/18

Nope

With no consequences or husband involved, this is nothing more than a poorly written erotic coupling story.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Rita, A Wife Seduced  or
More submissions by r1r1.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

Refresh ImageYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel