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English
awww no no no no!!
I hope you're not going to leave those two poor lovesick fools that way ;; Give them a happy ending please :D
Very hot!
But I'd definitely like to see more of this story.
Why...
can't they be together? Are they both married/attached, or just denying their feelings? Somehow that wasn't explained. I hope you address this issue if you continue this story. As of now, I'm thinking they're just "friends with benefits". Sex scenes were hot, but I'm not looking for a glaring sex scene at the start of a romance (makes me feel that I'm reading erotic couplings, not romance). I prefer to be teased, titillated and drawn in by the characters before they "do the dirty". But that's just me, I guess. Tip: read Starrker's winning How To piece on writing a romantc story. lol Good luck on your writing!
Part of a larger story?
This story was reasonably well-written, and pretty hot; could have used some tightening up, but hey.What I didn't like was the (seemingly) artificial separation at the end. To me, it was like never having seen Gone With the Wind, turning on the TV and hearing Clark Gable mutter, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," and expecting to understand what was going on. There was no context for what might have been an emotional scene.Perhaps a prequel?
Like a knife in the heart!
GREAT start! Please add more to this! This has so much potential!!!! Love it!
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