Proof Read, Proof Read, Proof Read!!
We were naked. Spent. I kissed her eyelids and the tip of her nose. punctuation. kills. fluency. that aside, you describe scenes, you don't live them.. no emotional involvement at all.
Interesting to note that aarskever feels competent to critique this posting despite never having contributed anything himself. Despite his and the anonymous comment, I thought this was a real nice cock-raising story.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! orBack to From Russia with Love orMore submissions by ravish_aus.
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English
Seventh Grade Effort
Proof Read, Proof Read, Proof Read!!
writing style
We were naked. Spent. I kissed her eyelids and the tip of her nose.
punctuation. kills. fluency.
that aside, you describe scenes, you don't live them.. no emotional involvement at all.
Short and Super Hot
Interesting to note that aarskever feels competent to critique this posting despite never having contributed anything himself.
Despite his and the anonymous comment, I thought this was a real nice cock-raising story.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to From Russia with Love or
More submissions by ravish_aus.