You kept the storyline simple. You used the tag words for this fetish often, which is what the reader wants. Best of all, you didn't describe your characters unnecessarily, which allows the reader to place his own images into your story. This is how erotica is done. Thank you!
by
Anonymous12/05/15
She pulled him onto her lap.
And he promptly rolled onto the floor. When she bent over to grab him he gave her a straight shot to her jaw. He then got up, pulled his pants up and proceeded to beat the crap out of her. Then he packed her bags, put her in her car and told her to leave and never come back. The end to an implausible pile of garbage.
English
Well done
You kept the storyline simple. You used the tag words for this fetish often, which is what the reader wants. Best of all, you didn't describe your characters unnecessarily, which allows the reader to place his own images into your story. This is how erotica is done. Thank you!
She pulled him onto her lap.
And he promptly rolled onto the floor. When she bent over to grab him he gave her a straight shot to her jaw. He then got up, pulled his pants up and proceeded to beat the crap out of her. Then he packed her bags, put her in her car and told her to leave and never come back. The end to an implausible pile of garbage.
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