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You have my attention
With this chapter, Charlie's parents seem to have wanted this to happen. You really threw a twist in there that I wasn't expecting and now I can't wait to read the next chapter to see what happens. To all the future nay sayers I simply say don't give up on this story and declare Charlie a wimp and Layla a slut until the final chapter plays out because thecelt is perfectly capable redeeming one or both characters and this is and will be a truly great story with real human emotion and realism that is lacking from so many stories of this type.
Great - as always
I always enjoy your writing. Please continue.
I prefer not ro read them as Parts or Chapters - but all at the same time - but of course I still eagerly await the next instalment.
Thanks
as a man i'm insulted.
what not one word of her lover or what to do to him.wrote like some punk or sissyboy.first thing run home to moms and pops and see what they think.he got pictures and go see her heads of her company and tell them what has happen.this crap i want to come home sound dumb as hell.
Stupid Again
News Flash to the Author: this is the 21st century. Something even the stupidest and ugliest and most repulsive working girls at the office know: Human resources would WELCOME WITH OPEN ARMS the reporting of any sexual harrassmant that this female was subjected to. She would get more money and advancement for reporting this than she got for the few minutes on her back. ERGO, ONCE AGAIN, THIS STORY COULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN.
a very warm and loving story
I enjoyed part two of this very good and well written story.I hope that the author lets Charlie get some of his self respect back,but keep the marriage alive. Thanks for the good post Rich.
horrible
so horrible, I'm not even going to waste my time with a comment beyond the fact that I will certainly not waste my time with your postings anymore.
confusing
I am not happy with the Carly character as it si painted here. Looks kind of dumb instead of average. Not his decision to come back home. But rather the way his parents view "average", tell him so and he seems to accept that. So, rather the way he views himself. If you're considered successful and are respected and regarded as such by collegues and business relations you're not just average. If you are able to think so analytical and come to the right conclusion by reading people's behaviour, you're not dumb at all. As for her, you know what is said about regrets after the sins. And once the trust is broken ... I'm looking forward to the rest of the story. G.Belgium.
what nonsense
before even a therapist, the parents are already telling him,
"My beautiful charlie, you are an average person. But not beautiful Layla, who is a beautiful, beautiful woman; and she won't be average. She will return the attentions of other men. But you must know your place, yourself, your looks: you are just an avearge Charlie, okay?"
I mean, WTF!
And, then, "I want to come home: to you and to Christine! Please, I am so willing to come home!"
"Oh, God, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
BUT, NO, SHE DON'T KNOW THE NEW CHARLIE NOW!, of what's going on his THIS new Charlie's head! He is nothing like she's imagining him to be now!
Now, he is one of these CREATUREs FROM SPACE!, who has appetite for eating the flesh of its spouse! LOL
Yes!!
Thecelt,
As usual a very good story with well drawn characters. A pity that so many think you don't write as they would, if they could write.
I'm finding this story very interesting and wondering where you will take it. I don't if I see the characters as you meant for them to be seen, but there is no trouble seeing them in my mind.
Keep it up.
I'm really confused by Pt. 02 . . .
This chapter seemed to proceed like Charlie, on autopilot. He said he was coming home to have a talk with Layla. So far, the conversation (after daughter Christina is put to bed) revolves around a small table set, in a small room, in a small house? I'm sorry, but I agree with other comments that Charlie does not seem to have average intelligence, he seems dumb. I realize he's hurt, maybe in shock, his world has come apart (in fact, he's acting like a woman who was betrayed, running back to Mom and Dad for advice). To succeed in sales, you can't just be nice. You have to be somewhat outgoing and aggressive, confident, not wimpy and effeminate like Charlie. Even women in sales put forth those qualities in order to succeed; I know this because in my position, I deal with sales people of both genders on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. There really has not been any communication between these sad individuals. How can we believe that Charlie would act the way he is portrayed? I'm not saying it's time to bring out the Boston Strangler in him, but right now I don't perceive any balls. It is unreal that he would be so dependent that he would put everything in denial, contrary to the deliberate actions he demonstrated in chapter 01. I'll reserve my final judgment until I read more, but this chapter seemed disjointed and not up to the level of the first one, which I thought was a good start.
Really bad words...
...to have to hear from your parents.
Apathy
As a fan of your work. The methodical insight you give to your characters and their mindsets is usually well thought out. You gave your reader, from the very first lines your thoughts as to what your original mindset was, "consequences", and changed your mind. You stated that your feelings as two both husband and wife did not warrant this. Normally, your characterization would back your intro comments. You are truly a gifted writer. I must disagree with your comment this time. Your characterization of both is weak. Neither is appealing. I, the reader am given very little to either sympathise nor empathize with either character. Your purposeful demeaning of the husband as to how he should feel thankful that being "average" should be willing to accept what insulting behaviour his wife has chosen to better her career and hurt their bond of marriage under the premise of both bettering her career and having endured doing so in the past, not getting caught and having time to rationalize her adultery. The conversation that the husband has with his parents, where they state that the son should be thankful that this adultery on the wife's part did not happen sooner in his marriage, as he is only average, and she is above his expectations as a mate she would have chosen anyone of "her" status. This is not how ant parent would speak to their child. Being a parent, my obligation to my child is to not only support my child, but support him or her in any time of crisis or need. The love that the husband has for his daughter is consistent with the time that you explain they have with to mother's time spent furthering her career. The fact that the husband goes to the extreme to not only photograph the wife's infidelity, leave photos, and leave the home, shows that he is not acceptable to her choice. His reaction to not only accept the wife's action, return home and accept the adultery as it it never happened, given his love of both daughter and wife goes beyond the realm of ability. The extreme actions the husband takes to show his wife he knows of the wife's infidelity, the proof he leaves before leaving makes your choice that he be willing to accept a reconciliation with the guise that nothing ever happened is insulting. If your intent was that the husband was to be weak of character, why have him follow, photograph, to an extent confront his wife? I will state that the story is not complete. Normally I would wait until the story is complete before commenting. To a writer of lesser talent, I would stop reading and pass on future chapters. You are a staple of quality writing. I waited until the second chapter waiting to find something that related to your original comment as to why you felt you cared so much not to have this a "consequences" story. In two chapters you the author have given me (us) the reader nothing for either the husband or wife to care either way. Thus the title Apathy. If my comment comes off as critical, so be it. As I have stated your usual quality of work is not indicative of the two chapters. I will state that I am not a writer. My opinion as only that of a reader. My comment was not to meant to insult you. Thank you for the excellent stories that you have posted through the years. This one does nothing to build upon what you have built. I my humble opinion. Thank You for your time. Don McLellan
Allways enjoyed
even when I didn't agree with the tale, you still make me think.
strange, very strange
This chapter had a touch of strangeness to it. It felt like the characters were almost devoid of feelings sometimes.
Charlie doesn't have the world's most supportive parents. They apparently never understood what the attraction was from Layla's side. They fully expected her to become bored and dissatisfied and were merely waiting for the event to occur in order that Charlie's life might return to normal.
Both Charlie and Layla have moments of total weirdness. Whatever Layla did on her day off - to be revealed in a later chapter, no doubt - made her sanguine and resolute in the face of a dissolving marriage.
Both people have privately arrived at the conclusion that the marriage is over, while neither really wants it to end. Charlie is such a boring, repetitive guy, one wonders what the attraction is from Layla's side. Perhaps his parents are correct.
I never bought the blackmail story from chapter 1. In today's marketplace, sexual harassment codes would make such behavior very unlikely. And someone as smart and as tough as Layla is alleged to be would nail that guy's ass to the wall.
I understand that to get this couple into the situation where thecelt could tell the story he wants to tell, Layla had to cheat and the reason had to be something other than lust/love/attraction if a reconciliation possibility still existed (necessary for the continuance of the story whether it occurs or not). But this reason was pretty weak.
Still, the very strangeness of it all makes it different. On this website different is all it takes to command my interest.
Wow
I really liked the end of this chapter. I am sure there are going to be comments about Charlie being a wimp and weak and other such negative reactions to his desire to come home. I find the ending of this chapter so true to life. His happiness and great love for his wife and daughter are so central to his life and happiness that it is easy to understand his desire not to give them up. ***** For some reason, I have sympathy for the wife, though I called her a whore in my comment to the first chapter. Why is that? Because she didn't like the sex? Her remorse? The steps she took to change her life, which we don't know about yet, but which were impled by her phone calls? ***** This story is so good. I want Charlie to get back his family. But not at the cost of his self respect. WOW, great story. Thanks.
The chapter is to forced, to melodramatic
The woman is a work of art. She is a ruthless whore who screws for money now ashamed of selling herself for her job. The husband is an idiot. He needs to divorce her and take custody of the child. Let the wife have time to grow up and mature. Instead he acts as a little boy. To act as he did he has put his stamp of approval on her actions and given her a blank check to use as she wants.
Interesting
This is going differently than I expected. Really enjoyed the twisat at the end and I look forward to seeing where you take this. Good one so far!
something tells me that
she now doesnt have the hubby she had...i think he has lost all his confidence and from now on he will be so withdrawn that he will pull himself into a shell that no one but his daughter will get him out of ....i think as far as his wife goes that he may be moving back in but hes not back,,,part of him is now inside himself and that part may never come out again....his psyc has been damaged to the point that he will now change so completely that his personality will change...he will now become a person that will not talk to others and yes he will do his job but his mind will never be there again....so consequently his job will suffer ...i think he will end up having to find something else as a salesman needs to talk to customers and he is not able to do that now....so she got her hubby back ...to bad its not the one she had ...hopefully he will find a woman that can pull him out of himself ...i think it will take another woman completely as he no longer trusts his wife..matter of fact he may move back to be normal but his normal just changed ...charlies back but part of him is gone...can layla get him back ....a long road a very long road ...i think a lot of suffering is in the cards ...for all combined even his daughter ...great story celt that in this case shows what i know is a true emotion as i have known people like charlie ...and yes he has changed and might not change back ever again
anyone see a Conversation between Charlie/ Layla?
Everyone kept asking HOW theCelt would get out of this huge hole he had made in chapter 1... Simple Just
1)change all the characters! anyone notice the MASSIVE shift in Layla's character? Whenver we see an author do this in a LW story you know they are bankrupt.
2) Have scummy parents/ family.
3) Blame the husband
Wasnt there suppose to be this BIG soul searching heart wrenching conversation
between Charlie and Layla? What happened?
Charlie askes about the size of the room/ house then breaksdown and cries.
THAT's a conversation?!?!? since when?
Remember Celt realy LOVES these two characters... I guess Charlie's parents saying "hey son you suck" and "put up with her cheating" has earned a special place this the author's heart.
I too am also confused here..........
Chapter one spent so much time giving us some background into Charlie and Layla. It spent some time building them as characters you can relate, somewhat, too.
But this chapter takes a step backwards
Charlie's parents seem "2-D". They appear, not only "not very supportive" of their child, but they spent the time they had in chapter 2 telling Charlie that his marriage had run its course because he married well above himself. They immediately make you not like them. And they give a mixture of good advice and backhanded comments. It's almost as if you really don't want the reader to like them so that when they get back together you'll feel better that they were wrong.
Then there is Layla's actions here. This chapter we find out that she's cheated on her husband before. She manages to marginalize it. She's hidden her cheating, by doing one of my pet peeves in a story of saying that because it was raw animal sex, and it wasn't satisfying, that Charlie never need know and he wasn't hurt by her secret. This is always a justification to make the reader see there is always a difference between "Sex" and "Love" and when someone cheats it really doesn't hurt the other person.
Problem is, this story has painted Charlie in a corner. You have him doing everything he can for Layla. The story kinda infers that Layla was his first, while Layla kinda worked her way through all the men who caught her eye. Charlie gave her everything he could provide, even though she made way more money, he kept giving too her till it hurt, and she still took it and cheated on him twice. While the story had her rationalize that bad sex, that wasn't any good for her, didn't really hurt Charlie. And she just have to bare the cross of keeping her secret. What would she have done if it was good sex? Shout it from the roof tops? Rub Charlie's nose it it? Or keep it to herself? It seems the only thing that bad sex does is keep the person from having seconds, and thats the wrong reason to stop cheating. Or to even cheat to begin with.
This story seems to have undone all the work you put into chapter one. Most of us knew we wouldn't like Layla in chapter two, but now we have almost no one to root for. This is a marriage that really needs a divorce and Charlie needs to see he has worth as a human, without Layla. But, because of the way the parents were introduced, I bet almost anything that by the end of the story Layla and Charlie are back together and the way he gets (what the story gives him) as backbone will be that he tells Layla he isn't going to put up with her cheating any more. >=)
-Risq
Infected ?
It seems all the wimp husband stories here might be infectious, first we had Ohio who veered away from his normally good stories and now we have the Celt doing the same.
Agree with roadbird
This is a story that will play out over time but Charlie is damaged and it'll take a lot for him to ever completely go home. What we need to remember is that this is an excellent author not a hack, thecelt can and will make all things clear in the end as he alone knows the true nature of each of the characters. Reconciliation doesn't make a man a wimp, and revenge doesn't necessarily make a man more of a man. The development of characters can and does give false impressions but stick with this one for thecelt is not one of the many hacks that write for this category, he is one of the few that make this category worth reading.
Hmmm
Dunno where this is going and i am not going to be as harsh as i was after chapter 1, but i need to say something. And that is if i had parents like that i would spit into their faces and never met em again i mean WTF?!?!?
well organized and believable story
Celt has composed another excellent story in his "consequences series." The story started slowly but the continuation was quite successful. I understand Layla's motive for having sex with her colleague, but it was unclear to me why she could not stop herself from having sex with her high school boyfriend. Celt's description of what Layla was feeling while she awaited Charlie's return home, and, also, the dialog between husband and wife after he had returned was superbly executed. Celt did not make it clear to me that Layla was something of a "trophic wife" at first, but he did later which helped to understand more about the Wife-husband relationship. I am very much looking forward to reading the ending to this story. RAG
re: I too am also confused here
I'm in total agreement about his parents. What's worse was the dialog, not just the meaning but the word choice. It was so mannered, so stuff, so unlike any one realistically would talk.
Consolation
This is just like Ohio's last story, possibly the worst work either of you have ever done. I have consolation in knowing that since you love these two characters that you would hate me.......that makes me happy. What has happened lately to make you two so gutless? Your characters have no honor. The only one I feel for is the poor child trapped between these morons.
well, I'm not holding my breath
but I have a bad feeling about this one. this reminds of me of another story by TheCelt, where the husband's & wife's characters changed completely by Chapt 2, on the way to a wimpy-ass forced reconcilation, by a husband who clearly deserved more than a slutty whore of a wife. Well, now that I've vented, I can say that I will hope for the best, that he would kick her ass to the curb & move on, but I am not optimistic for this outcome.
You Really have us all confused!
I agree with fellow comentator that I do not know which I dislike the most! I did like Charley of the first chapter, but now he is just too wishy-washy.
With respect to some of the commentators, I wonder what they
would say about King Lear, or Hamlet?? Would they dislike because the characters were sort of wimps???
The writing is the thing. I admit that the Celt is not being erotic, but he said that up front!
holding on for more
You have peeked my interest. I'm waiting to see how you make us like both of them. jrj
I'm with you
Jim you are the best! OK, OK, I know I said that to Ohio, DGHear, K.K., Cageytee, JakeRivers, GaryAPB and who knows who else. Seriously I am anxiously awaiting tomorrow's installment.
Wimp - I think not
Great start, Jim,
I'm not sure where you plan to take this, but it's an interesting start. Charlie is holding in a lot of hurt and anger and perhaps he gave in to her just a bit to easy. Unless he talks this out with her soon, it's going to fester until they have a major blow-up.
As to those jokers who are screaming "Wimp", don't listen to them. Ther have no idea what the word "commitment" means. If you truly love a woman and mean what you said in your vows, you'll try to work it out. It takes a great deal more strength to forgive and attempt to rebuild a marriage that to say "Piss on it" and just walk away. In my opinion the definition of a wimp is one that takes the easy way out and refuses to work to rebuild the relationship. He's the one that lets his ego get in the way of his moral values and walks away from the mess without even trying.
Anyway, thanks for sharing -
Larry
I like most of your stuff...
...but this is so completely wooden and the dialog stilted and unnatural it is hard to read. The two of them are automatons. Neither one of them are human let alone likable.
I'm sure there will be a clever plot twist, but I, for one, am hoping they both just spontaneously combust like sheep on Monty Python. Seriously.
Strange story
I am a big fan of thecelt, but this is not typical story by thecelt. Wife cheats, or sells her body, for promotion even though she despises her boss. "Intuitive" husband senses that she is about to make tragic mistake but is too timid to confront her and prevent tragedy.After Charlie leaves pictures illustrating her betrayal, he leaves for motel while she sobs about broken marriage that she caused.
Suddenly Layla wakes up and makes a number of phone calls that calm her down--maybe to report letcherous boss but thecelt does not tell us yet who she called. Then Charlie calls and says he wants to return home to be with her and child. She is thrilled and readers are confuse about what the hell is going on. Fascinating story, celt. I don't know how you're going to unravel this one, but thanks for writing.
60 year old George
Poor Little Wimp
Charlie will never have the respect of Layla. Thats why she cheated on him. She is mad at herself for being a slut, and feels bad for Charlie. She doesn't feel bad enough to keep her legs together when coerced, bribed, or confronted by a real man. She may belittle them (and herself after the fact) but that doesn't cause her to be "unfucked" or any less of a slut.
average?
What was all the "you are just average and she is way above you. You can't expect to kept her"? What parent would think such trype, much less say it at a time like that? This stuck me as pathological.
Fable-like prose
A few commenters have mentioned the wooden quality of the dialogue, and I will add, somewhat formulaic as well. I have to agree that Charlie's conversation with his parents rang particularly hollow and actually took me out of the story, to react to the quality of the writing, as opposed to the ongoing plot.
A lot of the dialogue here comes across as exposition and not terribly natural. The only thing I can think is that you were trying to set a tone similar to that found in Fables and Fairy Tales...(for a modern example, consider the tone and verbal style of the narrator in the TV show "Pushing Daisies")...where the focus is on the moral of the story and the narrative is rather broad and one dimensional. It that was your intent, I get it. At the same time, I don't think it works well with this story. There's enough normal and detailed content to make this a more genuinely human story...I think the story would be stronger if you'd struck a consistent and more genuine tone...
Regards,
Hands
You are average - but that's ok....
What a terrible line, coming from presumably loving family...
The husband is a hapless simpleton - it's almost always drags stories down... What the hec is wrong with intelligent interesting characters???
Hey!!!!!!
This is a great story!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing.
WIMP
WIMP. I want to come home? so you can cheat on me more honey... shucks... I read that and stopped reading... is this the same guy who wrote consequences? or is this the real him? Why such a wimpe..thecelt??? would love to hear from you
Very good....
So many commenters read ahead...or think ahead anyway. It's as if you have to write the story the same way every time. Of course, thats the rollercoaster plot of a
"good" story isn't it?
Bullshit
Your kidding right?! She sleeps her way to the top & he wants to stay married to the new company whore? I'm sorry but I agree with his mother, what his wife did was unacceptable, there were other avenues that she could've pursued, she could've filed a sexual harassment complaint, she could've told her husband what that asshole Carson suggested & I'm pretty certain he would have helped her. What kind of a woman would fuck for a job/promotion? That says that her job was more important to her than her marriage, even after her husband warned her of the consequences she failed miserably... And he wants to come home to that?! No way dude...
Pussy husband
It's ok to reconcile, but she needs to earn it. He just gave in like a pussy. No backbone. Now she can Fuck who ever she wants and make him dress up like the girly he is. Pathetic!
As usual very good but ...
This is a well written very good story. However the premise of the cuckold accepting the whorish activity of his wife without an even by your leave I find disgusting. Wimp is too soft of a term but time will tell in this story. Also let it be said that this is a very talented author!!
No Way
Without an explanation he wants to come home? To his slut wife? Not even in fiction. But I will continue...
Slippery slope
The first time she cheated it took only 4 martinis to get her to cheat. She felt guilty for a few hours and then got over it. The second time all it took was the promise of a recommendation, not even the promise of an actual promotion. It took her only a few minutes this time to rationalize it to herself. The next time all it would take to get her in bed would be a nice smile. She would most definitely cheat over and over again if Charlie hadn't caught her. She rationalizes to herself too easily. Not worth the pain of keeping her.
Man or wimp !
I think the husband may have given in quickly to his with out much of a fight from her.
However I believe in the next chapter she is in for a world of pain !
As others have mentioned she cheated for old times sake and few matinees then second time for money and status.
Could or would she risk everything again for a small reward !
Loved it
Enjoying this one a great deal. Five stars.
I'm enjoying this story, but
the dialogue keeps reminding me of Brits talking to each other. The references to social "class" differences, the relative smallness of a young married couple's home, etc. are not typical of Americans.
I Repeat, She Is Stupid?
Once Carson gave her the signed recommendation, she should have just said, "Thanks, Good-bye!"
She had no reason to honor such a noxious deal.
KarenE you hit it right on the head
In fact she had a cinch promotion. If Carson then reneged on the recommendation she could go to the company saying Carson was trying to blackmail and threated to sue for sexual harassment.
She held all the cards. The only assumption was she wanted the affair.
"Once a cheater, ...."
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