by theMasterBaiter
Nicely described -- both the atmosphere and the internal feelings. I also liked the way you wove present and memory together. I could feel the heat, but also the shame. Good job. Give us more! What happens next?
i TOTALLY loved thisone, but need to know, will we hear any more? i want to know more....
I loved the story but found the typos a bit distracting. I hope you write more.
Hot and shameful and to short for this girls wants.
Please write more.
There has to be more! Great story, please don't end it yet.
Please continue this story its a great story and can only be made better with each part written!!!!
I liked this. It has some editing issues, but nothing unforgivable. Good concept. Now, when is the sequel you promised?
To anyone asking about the next chapter to this, there are actually 7. Well, actually 8 outlined, 4 and a half written, of which the first is basically an extension of this story. I'm having a heck of a time finding the inspiration to finish it. Anyone with editing / writing experience who wants to help is most welcome to contact me and if we can work some details out, I'll share the current draft. Basically I want comments and feedback in return for access. I love to collaborate, and I'm very giving with credit.
More please! I'm desperate to see His ingenuity and what new machines he plans to test her on. Loved that you slowly reveal where she is as this is all being done to her. I was only gutted this was so short, can't wait to read more.
I would certainly enjoy reading the extended version as I was disappointed when this ended so abruptly. You have a knack for bringing your reader into the scene. Thank you.
+nthusiastic Thank you so much for the kind words. Yes, the story does end quickly, but "good news everyone!" the book which is a sequel to this story is now further along: 8 chapters and about 5 written. It desperately needs an editor / collaborator. If you would be willing to work with me, it would inspire my effort in completing the story. There are also /multiple/ other short stories which need work.