Charlie and Layla Pt. 04

Too high of expectations

I have not really liked any part of this story, but kept reading because I knew the author who find some way of bringing the characters and story around in the end because thecelt is the master. But it was not to be. By the end I appreciated how much the wife learned about herself and how she had done even more wrong than she had even realized. And I understand how the husband could now see himself as a new, stronger and more confident man. But, my overall view of this story is summarized by the fact that the husband insisted on naming his daughter after his favorite hooker! Does that mean that every time he sees his daughter he will think about the hooker? Perhaps someday, when his daughter is deciding what to do with her life, she can ask him how he chose her name and that can help her choose her profession.

not satisfied

The writing is fluent, bit different than usual but still good. However, I cannot like both characters like you said to do in your opening remarks for chapter 1, althoug I think to understand now why you didn't want to make this just another consequences story. People can change for the better after some life changing events and huge problems in their relationship. I'm glad to see that she somehow now feels more respect for the more confident and selfassured Charlie cause I felt all along that, even be it in the back of her mind, she did not consider him up to her level and, therefore, did not respect him as much as she should have. It wasn't just not thinking of him when she cheated the first time, nor was it the second time. It was more fundamental. Now she seems to understand. But, she also wonders about a lot of things, where he has been, where he has learned the new tricks or positions, where the name Patty came from. She obviously must know and I don't believe that ignoring the answers will put her mind to rest. She's far from dumb with a strong character, even if she plays it low at the moment, but eventually the doubts will come up. From there to question his ongoing faithfulnes is a little step. And what could then happen ... No, he should have told her no matter how painful it would have been for her. Honesty and trust you know. G.Belgium

mostly it was a nonsensical story

why any man would feel or act "smug" --- would exhibit any smugness about him --- from simply fucking some cheap hooker he found in a bar, I have no idea. But apparently little below average Charlie boy felt so good, after having fucked a hgooker twice, for Layla's two adultery, he's all set to go! LOL

This is to stilted.

The male character loses all of his basis when he goes with the prostitute after drinking. Until then you had a repressed but real character. Going back to the prostitute for the second time to make up for the wife's second time was totally out the window. And to resume making love with his wife without medical testing after being with a prostitute is absolutely ignorant. Yes it could be expected the wife would quit her job, the check itself was an almost nothing, but I am sure she would have gotten a nice severence check also. She is a very weak willed woman who has to very brief adulterous affairs and as Charlie realized there is nothing in her character that supports the thought she wont commit adutry again when she has in her mind a rational reason for it. She was a whore, she knew it, her husband knew it, the blackmailer knew it, her boss knew it. She is a slut and Charlie prior to the prostitute deserved better than her. A remarkably average story of people who live below their own standards.

okay

I guess ending was okay, but not quite satisfying. Could not give top score as the events with the whore were so stupid. Resolution was too fast and too easy. A personality like Charlie's would come close to destruction, and healing would not be a quick fix. Couple times with a hooker and life is good? That was self destructive behavior and due to lack of protection, perhaps a wish for death. ***** Too damned easy on the wife.

Hmmm

Someone should put the wife and husband out of their misery, they are not lovable not even likable at all. But whats worst about this story is that it was written by one of the great authors who apparently is losing his touch and now even his fans. :/

Consequences are a bitch!

If

Charlie got a cheque for $250,000 how much more did the lying cheating bitch Layla get(and did not tell him)I cannot believe the company got away with only $250,000 instead of a multi million dollar harassment settlement.What happened to Carlton? did he get away with it? Charlie should take the money and marry(or live with Patty)at least she was honest about being a whore,whereas Layla was not.Not one of your best Celt!

A theory

This whole series has been one of the stranger ones on this site. The language stilted. The concepts reserved. Just a very strange read.
My theory: thecelt was in his strange way putting the lie to the concept that not throwing the wife out at the first sign of indiscretion automatically brands him as a wimp. Charlie became a much stronger person through the exercise of confronting Layla's infidelity. He WOULD have been a wimp had he merely left immediately.
I have another theory: most of the LW nutcases won't buy my previous theory.
Still, I think that's what thecelt was going for, and the end result was kind of satisfying. Layla cheated a total of 2 times during their marriage. She was made to realize the reason behind the cheating in order that she probably won't do it again.
My first wife cheated on me and I threw her out. Had she given me $250,000 as retribution I probably would have held on to her for another year or so.

Crash & Burn

Well, this story did not turn out the way I expected. Layla did seem to learn from her stupidity , but in the end all she sacrificed to save her marriage was any shred of her self dignity or equality in the marriage
Funny thing is, I thought that you were not going to tell this story as a "consequences" story. To be sure, the consequence was not the one that you usually expect in one of your consequences story, but there were very vivid and lasting consequences evertheless. I guess they show the inherent difficulties in getting past infidelity in a marriage, particularly where there is a concern over getting even.
You really showed Charlie as changing over the course of the story. The one single thing in this story that surprised me was Charlie's insistence on the second helping of Patty. Particularly since:
1. He seems to hold himself to a double standard as he does not come clean with Layla as to his actions; and
2. It seems to be done without guit or remorse. If anything, his insistence on the name Patty for the second child seems to show he is secretly holding over Layla's head.
If I had to predict a future for this couple, somehow I see this new Charlie getting into a hot and heavy afair with no remorse in a few years. I get the impression that Layla learned a lesson, but I wonder exactly what Charlie ended up learning?

Quite Amzaing

You are always an excellent author. This one threw me for a loop. Layla truly did learn much from her actions. I am afraid that I grew to dislike Charlie, especially the new Charlie. He held Layla to a much higher standard than he held himself. He will always have something to hold over her - a smugness that could ultimately lead him to act in the way that disgusted him about Layla.

I am not sure where we get the idea that two wrongs make a right. Layla learned her lesson. Charlie decided to allow himself a night with a hooker, a good time for him, while punishing his wife. I am not sure what kind of love that is but it really isn't a depth of love that cares for the other.

Keep up the great writing. While I might disagree with the way it turned out, it is your story and you did a wonderful job.

Lame

The wimp has 2 whores, what's the big deal? He's still a wimp!

On the misery of an un attractice couple...

The type of connection this couple had through the years is very similar to codependence. Both partners in this kind of relations would keep describing their feelings towards each other as loving, no matter how much they keep hurting or being hurt by each other. As long as their pathological needs are supplied by the partner, they will continue the charade of 'love', not knowing or incapable of true loving relations.
The connection the couple had through the first two chapters could be described as: deep insecurity and dependency on the husband part and contempt in the service of a narcissistic personality on the wife's part. The codependence remains even after the changes in the last two chapters. It turns into contempt and passive aggressive anger on the husband part and fear and regret on the wife’s part. What never truly change is the reality that they are never truly concerned with the well being of the partner they proclaim to love. In a way the partner is a tool to vent their own internal dysfunctional needs. This kind of relations could be quite stable –albeit always quite miserable.

As a reading experience this kind of narrative could not be very satisfying. When both main characters are less than attractive – the experience most readers have is considerably less satisfying. If you don’t care much about the characters you enjoy the story much less Additionally, at base they remain codependent: locked in miserable marriage but unable to break out. So you don’t end up with real change, but rather with a feeling of watching musical chairs –they start being miserable for one reason, and end up being miserable for another. There is no catharsis or true resolution, but people expect those in stories (or else we can continue reading about the misery in the world in the daily papers).

thanks for the very good story

Your story was so well written,that it didn't need a lot of sex to make it good.The amount of sex was just right for this story.I though your story was warm and loving,but sad to the point that I felt sorry for both of them.Thank you for this very good story,and will be looking for a new post in the futher.........Rich

Interesting and enjoyable story!

Another great effort by this author! The majority of the comments made also are very insightful especially "KOLKORE" comments. From our perspective, it was good to see Charlie grow some "balls" and finally crawl out from underneath the rock he had climbed under. Unfortunately, the slut wife will eventually fail and the saying of "once a cheater - always a cheater" will ring true again.
As always, it is great to read & review stories from these esteemed authors like "thecelt & Ohio" as opposed to some of the other "man-hater" authors like the "bonniet".

GREAT FICTION...nothing more

I just hope readers understand tht this is pure fiction. I wouldn't advise anyone getting marital advice from a professional prostitute. Good story line and well told. Hope to hear many more from you soon.

Fine writer--poor story

As a big fan of thecelt, i found this story very disappointing. Layla let her overwheming ambition lead her into sordid tryst with letcherous boss. Charlie, on the other hand, is totaly mystifying, emotionless, non communicative almost a robot like mathematician.
Layla cheated twice so he has to rush out and have sex with hooker to even the score for Layla's two affairs, one five years ago. If I had to choose, I would root for Layla. At leaset she was a human being who felt remorse for her actions and tried to atone for them. Charlies only concern seemed to be evening the score and being smug about accomplishing that. He does not appear even close to being a loving husband.
60 year old George

Great story thecelt.

You had me a little worried with the supposed wimpy coming home of Charley but pulled it out nicely without flaw. Love your work. Keep writing.

Patty?

Children grow up. Children have a way of finding out where their name comes from. In this case when Patty can't find out through normal means whom she is named after she will begin to tear herself apart from the inside trying to locate that person. As you grow old and think it will be smooth sailing. Wrong.

Who cares

TheCelt writes very well, and I did enjoy reading this story. I guess the author was trying to write a story where the emotional positions of the two players get reversed. Layla started out full of confidence and Charlie lacked confidence. By the end he had reversed that. Clever. But with these two characters, who cares?

Why the fuck is he so smug?

She cheated on him, forgiveness or divorce are the only two options...cheating to make it right? WTF? Two wrongs don't make a right and for numbnuts to act all high and mighty? Fuck that...Layla shoulda divorced his ass and kept the money.

good

I did notice, and I'm nitpicking here, that pretty much all emotional sick feelings that Layla had you described as her knees/legs buckling from her. It just got a bit repetitive and I would suggest finding other ways to illustrate her feelings. That's really nitpicking, but I hope you take it for what it's worth.

AS far as the story, I did like the character gaining a certain strength and the last part of the story you tried to illustrate that Layla did not respect Charlie enough. He didn't demand that respect and for that she put him out of her mind. Thinking that Charlie would never leave her and would forgive her made her do the cheating.

Good Read and Interesting Ideas

Still I can not see two Wongs making a White, ever. Now the one who is looking down is Charley when they should be partners. If at least he told her what he had done and was
going to do they could perhaps reach a balance. Why didn't he? Perhaps because he wanted to be "morally superior"?
Or would it be that classic, "I did not want you to talk me
out of it!" I still can not find either of them very likable
or reasonably deep.

!

Okay not sure about the content of the story but towards the end of the story, wheather I liked them or not I did want them to get together. Maybe because I'm an old romantic and I like happy endings.I do hope Layla has learned her lesson I also hope Charlie gives her some slack to prove she has learned her lesson. Charlie doesn't have to be a macho man but i do think he needs to be a bit firmer in his views. Okay Celt you convinced me it is a good story but a lesser writer may have made a mess of it you however even if not everybody likes the topic have to applaued your writing skills. Anyway I'm looking forward to your next story. Do not stop writing.

a bit difficult

to come into the story with a lot of ununderstandable actions from both wife and husband. but in the end with asking the most important question WHY she did it, he brought it to the point. she had not the same respect towards him than he had towards her. she felt superior so they were never partner so far. As for taking a side of one of the characters , I saw most tend towards the wife and I would say think it over. he was "helped" by a so called good friend and to much alcohol the first time. As for the second time who said he did? thats just your dirty mind so far imagine it. the celt never wrote so. he just wrote he went to the bar and suggested to go somewere to talk and have fun. not more.

This one made me think a little too much.

Extra points for that, but I am having a hard time seeing a motive for Charlie's actions. It's apparent that his world has been shaken, perhaps permanently. Layla comes across as a shallow, self-serving woman. She may have made a strong effort to show Charlie she regretted her actions, but the way their relationship is developing now may not help that continue. I feel that the second child was just part of Charlie's structured plan for his life. Basically, I think the love has left this marriage, and I can only see disaster down the road.

Interesting & thought prrovoking story

though I never saw, in the story, thecelt showing us why he said, at the start, he likes Layla.
She is a very self-centred and thoughtless woman. We never saw, in the story, that she ever got what she did to Charlie.
Yes, she decided he was a better long-term prospect than either of her lovers. Yes, she resigns etc, but she never really gets it! (that we are shown)
Maybe, and it's only a maybe, after thinking deeply about why she disrespects Charlie so much, she can perhaps improve and avoid the same thing in the future.
But, as for being a likeable person? No way, on the information in this story.

Fascinating Series...

This narrative is so different than most stories (writing style), and the character development is superb. You can almost see Charlie selling auto parts or playing with his daughter. You can see Layla change. Fascinating!

Great Story

Two wrongs don't make a right? Where is that etched in stone? Give me a fucking break! Sometimes it is the only way to move forward. Charlie is one passive agressive little bastard but the bitch deserves it.

I Would Love To Rate This Story Higher

I really would. But, there are a number of problems with the story that need to be fixed. First, I was struck at how stilted and unnatural the dialogue was. People might speak as these characters do if they're in school, and in English class, but otherwise people generally are less precise in their speech. Writer, sit down in a fast food restaurant sometime and just listen to people converse with each other and I think you'll see a big difference.

Second, I didn't like the forced nature of the problem the writer set up for his protagonist to deal with. Frankly, a piece of fiction needs to be even more plausible than real life, and this story began with a premise that I just couldn't get past.

RT

It never got any better

The characters are cardboard cutouts. Charlie is the Rain Man. Layla, I don't know. But they were both forgettable.

Hey, they can't all be home runs. You're entitled to a stinker.

Measure of a Man? Acceptable Infidelity?

Author has exceptionally poor idea of what it takes to be a husband and a man. Author has wife become a whore and Charlie pimping her out for $250k (remember he took the money) where wife's glossed over, accepted excuse is she was displeased with their economic conditions. Yes Charlie, the Author does not consider a man to be measured by anything but his stamina in bed. Wife's excuse is OK?? Any normal man/husband would be TERMINALLY insulted by wife saying she "only" spread her legs for superior because hubbie wasn't able to adequately support her: "But Charlie, I had to make you see that it was never any lack on your part. You have always been more than enough for me...She wanted him to understand that and to make him see that it was only for the purpose of her job and not to find satisfaction outside the marriage." Well, if its just to get a promotion dear, "job purposes," who can criticize your drive and ambition; next job try for $500k, I'm so glad my salami will always be NO 1. What low class, trailer trash philosophizing. Plot stolen from a Springer segment??

A Simple Story Told In A Complex Way

Writers write what readers read. Simple huh. Not really.

Often writers write about flawed people - not just one but both spouses as was the case here. In truth we are all flawed and mistake prone from our norm given circumstances or selfish motive.

The writer never tried to make them more than they were in his eyes. Readers knew what they expected and some were put out when they didn't get it. Such is the writers intent and plight.

A decent writer can write to most's satisfaction but it can be sterile and anticipated beyond boring.

Only when a writer becomes an Author does he/ she see what path is like life and all its frailties and warts.

People do stupid things and as a human they are all different to some or more degree. Our expectations and rules of life vary considerably and are formed both early in life or by circumstance then and now. It ain't all pretty and it isn't always crudely gross. But it can be unpredictable and reasonably or totally true.

Therein lies the crux of acceptance. The wanters know their needs and usually aren't very flexible but they are the largest segment. The other writers know the pain of imagination, time and effort sometimes being opposite of expected acceptance. They know acceptance is very emotional and fragile in certain arena's subject wise.

Such is the + / - of writing. It does matter that subject can be more 50% of the reason for acceptance or rejection - regardless of the talent expended.

Also it cannot be argued that reader expressed appreciation is the fuel for writer continuance and growth.

This Author has earned the title and is willing to go into life's difficult variances to point out that we aren't all the same and in this case nor does there always have to be one normal spouse - they can both be flawed in long term.

Not a simple work Author but one that is appreciated for being a possible real situation and a life altering one.

You are appreciated Author - you provoke in painting real life pictures with flawed but real people perhaps among the lower percentile but still part of life that most only glimpse occasionally.

With Very High Regard

A well-done look at an all consumed persons mind

This was a well-written story as is the norm for this Author. I agree with Kanga40 in his assertions. I also agree that Layla probably has seen herself and the aftermath of her actions for the first time. I think Charlie is the one who needs to really come to grips with what has happened to himself. He really needs to find out and then accept what he feels he has and can live withWell done entertainment, thank you.PT

Is this story redneck enough

for the he-man readers of this site?

Here is a story of two people being human, being themselves and trying to do the right thing. Being human, they make mistakes, but they try to correct them.

Not every spouse who cheats should be forgiven. But, then, not every cheater should be executed.

These people were weak in some situations, but that's not to say they were weak people. Actually, it takes more strength than a redneck reader realizes to persevere in the face of marital adversity.

Sometimes I can't believe that the "throw the bitch out" comments aren't part of the fiction on this site!

Rich

Great Story

This story is truly thought provoking. All the comments are justified but I loved it for the very reason that it is different. This was not a run of the mill story that pleases any one group of readers. It is about two very different individuals that are very strong willed in their own way. Yet these two compliment each other in their desire too change for each other. One learns to grow into a confident adult male, and the other learns to respect her mate. They were destined to reconcile after both grew! Very good.

Finaly a Man that gets a backbone!!!!!

This is a story I can belive in. Most in "Loving Wives" are spineless wimps that do what ever the woman wants.

I have had 2 women screw me over and I repaid the favor in kind. I never thought once of letting them keep seeing someone else while staying with me.
Kudos to you sir!!!!

Leftme hanging

I enjoyed the story but the ending was loose and hurried. It left me hanging.

She did find him lacking

and that is the reason why she strayed. While she did not find him lacking in bed, it was in the earning that he brought home. She did this to secure the financial future which she thought he was not able to do. She had little respect for him as a provider and as a partner because she was brining more money than he was. I respect Celt as an author but his assessment of Layla is shrouded. She deserved some punishment from Charlie. If granted permission, I would like to rewrite the last half of the last chapter.

confidence, run with it

charlie found something that he did not know he had, frineds, priceless. layla's promises were useless in the light of her actions, so stay with someone that could again. its got built in doubt. the new charlie can suceed in all ways, to heights he could not formely believe. there is life after divorce, and he could find, more.

Poor Charlie

This could have been a very good story but unfortunately you had to contrive to make Charlie just slightly brighter than a turnip in order for it to work. This failed because he would certainly have never been able to complete a four year college course let alone hold down a decent job. Only another turnip would have been able to marry him, hence the whole plot is completely off balence and has no chance of being believable. Nice try but not really a starter with the characters you populated it with.

agree

her words that he was not inadequate, probably not true. jake was there, and the reasons for Positve recommendation, good enough to justify what she did. she didn't report that, and get the evidence and take that direction. carson may have been a pig, but another experience for her. the confidence as being basis to get what he wanted,knowing he was too good for her

ok.

good read .......... ok.

Cheers from Montreal

Great writing

Great story ...

... but Layla should have been told of the revenge sex. It is important for cheaters also to experience the pain of their spouses being intimate with someone else.

One of your worst.

You've got 2 idiot cheaters. Both of them should have been removed from the gene pool for the good of mankind.

I really didn't like the character of Charlie. Incredibly passive and weak. I get the shy thing and the not making a lot of friends. But self respect is a strong driver too.

I'm not saying he should have just left forever or beaten her, but I honestly didn't like his character and he sounded retarded the way you wrote his thought processes.

I had high hopes for this story but it didn't pan out.

I have to agree with FD45 except I wasn't too impressed with either one.

In the beginning of this story you mentioned that you so liked both characters that this story wouldn't be a "consequences" story. I haven't read any of them yet but I can imagine what they'll be.

However, I really didn't much like either character. Charlie's motivation for the second use of Pattie seems to suggest some sort of balancing such that after two cheatsings =s two cheatings, all is well. Uhhhhh .... that is SO dumb!!

Outstanding!

This is a story about two imperfect people, their faults and their marriage. It's not necessary to like either character
to appreciate just how well this story was told.

I am envious of your skill.

that was a fine damn story!

you had me worried for a little bit but it turned out right nice!

I dug the story

Very good. Excellent pace, compelling characters. Good lesson to be learned about keeping one's spouse and marriage at the forefront of one's thoughts at all times. Also, a touching love story in many ways. I also really relate to the hubby and his desire to get even-it would be something that I would have to do if faced with the consequences. Finally, I think both characters improved as people and the marriage will be stronger for it.
My complaint is that the dialogue is quite wooden and formal. Not natural. That is one area for improvement with the author. See especially the hubby's parents-no one talks like that, even remotely.