All Comments on 'D&D Breakfast Club Ch. 02'

So your local Monarch has sent you on a suicide mission:

This is the problem with Government in Fantasyland kingdoms, they always end up leaving important components of Last battles, Showdowns with Evil Magic-users, the annihilation of dangerous monsters and other threats to their kingdom up to the first random group of wandering adventurers who enter the city!

Oh sure, they always talk about heroism, reward and duty to the side of good and all that, but when it comes right down to it, most of these rulers are just too lazy to come up with a good plan for combating the latest national threat!

Bards wonder why there are always evil empires' armies on every good kingdom's borders, monsters and highwaymen on every major roadway, why all heirs are always missing and why there are so many dragons and so few good looking maidens nowadays, why dungeons pop up in every unpopulated corner of the wilderness, why every disenfranchised sorcerer with a few undeads working for him is trying to take over the world?!? I'll tell you why, it's because all these NPC do-gooders just stand back and wait for a party of adventurers to wander up and take care of all their problems!

Hah! Half the time the adventurers get slaughtered to the last man, or pick up a cursed sword that makes them kill all dwarves, or get teleported to another continent at the end of their quest! Even if the adventurers do succeed against insurmountable odds, what reward do they look forward to? Ignominy! Coffee stains all over their character sheet! Staples coming out, equipment sections getting misplaced! Falling out of binders and being roughly trodden upon! Our celebrated heroes will eventually languish, scarred with cigarette and doobie ashes and burn marks, stained with the leavings of various beverages, forgotten in a clipboard or binder in a closet along with all the previous edition rulebooks that no longer apply to these settings.

The life of an adventurer just isn't worth living sometimes!

Much love to Fred once again! I adored the story and hope for many more!

~Daisy~