I believe I would describe your approach as a "shotgun" type of approach. I think you would have been more effective had you picked a specific target and concentrated more directly on that target. But, it did have its moments. I enjoyed the second part of your story more than the first. Keep at it!
You really need to get with Babs.That girl needs for her master to control her life.She needs to really work to keep her secret life from ruining her real life. turn her into the slut that she wants to be.....Rich
For a first timer it was surprisingly good! A little rushed, though. Good build up, but lacking in details as far as descriptions of climaxes. (e.g. How they felt, etc.). Good storyline. It'll be interesting to see where it goes. Also, I didn't care so much for the domination, but that's my problem, not yours. Still, domination in sex doesn't necessarily have to carry over into the relationship(s)/ friendship(s), does it? A little caring/tenderness would be a nice touch.
English
It had it its moments.
I believe I would describe your approach as a "shotgun" type of approach. I think you would have been more effective had you picked a specific target and concentrated more directly on that target. But, it did have its moments. I enjoyed the second part of your story more than the first. Keep at it!
I think Babs needs her master
You really need to get with Babs.That girl needs for her master to control her life.She needs to really work to keep her secret life from ruining her real life. turn her into the slut that she wants to be.....Rich
too much
you Brits are a little too much
Good Effort!
For a first timer it was surprisingly good! A little rushed, though. Good build up, but lacking in details as far as descriptions of climaxes. (e.g. How they felt, etc.). Good storyline. It'll be interesting to see where it goes. Also, I didn't care so much for the domination, but that's my problem, not yours. Still, domination in sex doesn't necessarily have to carry over into the relationship(s)/ friendship(s), does it? A little caring/tenderness would be a nice touch.
wow
that was amazeing I loved it I didnt get hard but I got lost in the story
I thought it was pretty good, especially for a first story.
I read a lot on Literotica just for entertainment. Any combination of mother, son, daughter is my favorite. Thank you for writing.
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