All Comments on 'The Return Ch. 04'

I am enjoying your story and look forward to the next chapter.

the story has my imagination running rampant. i have become addicted to reading it. so please give me my fix. as soon as possible.

I'm hooked carry on with the story. Just don't wait too long!

A bit light on the emotional tension. The good guys have no doubts or misunderstandings. The bandit is so evil that we can overlook the defects in our heroes! Pleasurable if not deep. Thanks for spending the time.

This is what I call writing, not the crap that bonnytayor, needyou and her other two cronies dish up but maybe it is way too far over their heads to comprehend.

Anchors Away and so they did - go deeply away. But oops - so did the foul play evidence. Intended eh.<P>

You're on a roll which I hope you aren't writing on the fly. That will come back to taint your effort which is more than good to this point.<P>

You are appreciated Author - onward and upward but no more fish-bait before their time - or it may seem contrived.<P>

With High Regard

Robert --- though he didn't care one way or another about Sarah's kid --- claimed the girl was his. <p>

Remember, Sarah also said, specifically, that "I have been with only two men: Bobby and the man I love, you [meaning our hero here]". <p>

So, bad-assed as Robert Armstead is, he is, until proven otherwise, a better candidate for being Rebecca's father. Yes, Sarah said she and Julie got some of our hero's hair and had the DNA test done and Rebecca was really his, not bad-assed Robert's. <p>

Well, THAT was/is Sarah's word. And just because some kid sort of look like you, it doesn't mean he/she is really yours, genetically. The short description given to us by Sarah about how she liked going out to dance and party with Robert while our hero was in graduate school ---- it simply was more conveniently put. <p>

In life, things is never that special, where they having gone out so many times, dancing in dark night clubs and driving places,,,, that the night Robert was about to stick his little Robert in Sarah JUST HAPPENED to be the VERY NIGHT our hero was home, OUT BY THE PARKING LOT, next to Robert's car, with both Robert and Sarah naked, with "some part of her" wanting Robert while the other parts all cloudy and in some fog. <p>

Not very believable account. <p>

Here I am not saying THE AUTHOR is not doing a good job; I am merely saying the VAGUENESS of the description, PLUS SARAH's claiming to having "been" with "two men" (one of whom she loved), give credence to Robert's claim that little Rebecca is probably more his than our hero's..... <p>

Of course, had Sarah said, "You are the only man I have ever been sexually intimate with. And except for some kissing and fumbling, like Robert was doing that night, I have never been with him sexually..." THEN that would be unequivocally clear. But she didn't say that, did she? But I guess, as story telling goes, some vagueness needs to exist, to give it juices...

Tossing the boys overboard was great, not expected. Keep writing very enjoyable, Thanks!

i hate to be like this, but i would appreciate a much faster turn around with your story. i think that the story is so good that it deserves a much faster writting. is it titilation that your giving us, or are you just doling it out in small doses.. either way keep it coming. im becoming addicted to it

Well written story that sucks you in, with realistic characters, love, hate, and all that fascinating stuff that makes for a good tale. Keep it coming!

Cheers

AngeloM

Been a while for this story? Hope another great chapter appears soon. While his disappearance seemed long, his return has turned into an interesting, gripping plot. Next chapter? Soon?

Where oh where has the next chapter gone. Oh where oh where can it be. Great story hope it continues soon.

I just read chapter 4 and see that there is three previous chapters. So far not too bad but I make a point with new writers of not reading each chapter until the last is published. Too many writers start off with brilliant stories and then somewhere along the line the ideas dry up and leave you hanging. Lets see how this shapes up

There are some problems though. The 'evil villain too stupid to believe' is the most noticeable one. The thugs who bring up the deaths of their captor's parents, is another. Self preservation would keep anyone from talking or even remotely hinting at their involvement.

I have noticed that each chapter is very different from all the rest in theme and in style. It’s almost like you were experimenting in making one story which consists of chapters, each written in a different genre or style... Was that an intentional challenge you put for your self, or am I the first to draw your attention to this diversity? <P>

Be it as it may, the overall blend works well - so far... Let's not forget the hardest hurdle of all - the ending, which is supposed to put closure not only on the latest developments, but hopefully, to not leave unexplained gaps or contradictions from previous chapters... <P>

On to the next chapter...

You continue with erratic character behavior and the story starts to collapse under its own lack of motion. I hesitate to read any more. anon jerry

A combination of SEALs experience then the murder of his parents.. Pretty exciting to see how he'll have his revenge and find his redemption!

First he attacks Bobby and then murders two people.

A good story thanks for this great story.

DWORNOUTCOCK you truly are a dickhead

This is one badass dude! I agree with another commentator that Sarah got off too easy, placing all the blame on Geoff. Five stars and an instant favorite.

justice is served, as it should be.

5******s for justice.

Trying to get all of the valley's water rights?!?

A good read.

So revenge it is. Prediction correct.

And Sarah still blames Geoff, indicating that they were both wrong. How was Geoff wrong? By trying to keep her out of the situation in the first place? By warning her of Bobby's intentions? By asking her not to hang out with him?

Good grief! Another character that won't take responsibility for her actions. She knew it was wrong and still hung out with Bobby. The only person who wasn't wrong was Jeff, and later Julie. Even Becky is more mature than her mom.

Fuck yeah .

we're having fun :)

Torture, murder? In Loving Wives? Not even over a cheating wife! New ground being g broken. Bravo!

So now Sarah and her daughter are going to be with a stone cold killer, isn’t that nice for the little girl.

An amazing story. Bravo.....5 every chapter so far.

Loved the chairs sit and watch fish swim by

Still unhappy she is taking some responsibility for here actions but not enough

Non date dates my ass she cheating

Better

This is a very good story so far but, man, there is no statute of limitations on murder.

Yeah, two wrong deeds don't make it right. 3/5 for murdering the two bad guys. Their confession should have been video recorded and then they should have been turned over to the feds. Bobby's reach doesn't extend to state level much less higher.

I'm quickly losing interest in what started out as a really good story. It's tragic what you did to your own concept.

Finally, you give us a protagonist with a spine. To paraphrase the Bible ... I am a vengeful God and I bring a sword . If you know that book, then you know that God often chose a man to carry out that vengeance. So far, the story is developing well.