All Comments on 'In Sara'

by youbadboy

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  • 105 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Awesome.

Great build-up in this chapter, would really like go see them get their own apartment, but please leave out Marnie, I think that would just dilute the tension and the dichotomy of their relationship. He needs to grow mentally, and giving him more pussy would certainly not help in my opinion. Thanks once again for the story and I cannot what for your continuation on Home for the Holidays.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
As usual, great work

Fantastic job as usual, cant wait for more. Can't say anything bad about this story, but the idea of marne in it doesnt quite fit. The way she was mentioned in this chapter left a negative association with her. She seems easy and just some girl. To be honest, I completely forgot about her in the time since the first chapter came out. I am not against another lady coming into the relationship to change the dynamic a bit since I know you'll do a great job with it. As a idea, it's good, just dont do it with Marne. On a side note, it seems like your muse has returned, since this a fairly quick release, any chance on a continuation of the "car ride" series? It's my favorite. Regardless, keep up the good work, we appreciate it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
So Good!

Your stories consistantly blow my mind they're so hot and this is no exception. This made me absolutely crazy! The buil-up and tension is so good. Please keep writing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
great writing

You have a great story as it is, I don't think you need anybody else in it. What you've got between them is very very hot and real. I guess there's no way this can end well, probably your best solution is to leave the ending open at some point.

formiscuseformiscuseover 15 years ago
Can't wait to see where this goes.

Excellent job. The writing is intense and completely engrossing, and the story has kept me checking back constantly for the next installments. Great work.

As to where to take the story, that's an interesting question. I believe that adding Marnie is an excellent idea; she's a character that has the potential act as a foil for Sara, and she can magnify the already considerable tension between the two main leads. Questions I would ask myself include how she'll be developed, given that this story focuses so intensely on Sara and David. How will she differentiate herself? Just thoughts.

Absolutely looking forward to the next chapter. =)

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Awesome!!!

Loved the story. It was so erotic. I'd love for them to move in together and get married followed by having some kids. A little anal couldn't hurt either.

You can write that they tell their parents that they're going to move in together to save on expenses and experience the world on their own.

johntc24johntc24over 15 years ago
well built

enjoyed your story, well layered and structured. Your charecters are so real the story took on life. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Sibling love affair

Please just have David and Sara in the apartment! Thier love can grow and they can have a romance. The other girl would spoil the storyline. A taboo forbidden love is compelling! Let them grow and marry; there are more sibling couples than people realise.

menalaosmenalaosover 15 years ago
Great Stuff

Excellent work, as always. And I think you can still use your original plan of Sara trying to pawn her brother off on Mamie after they all move in together. But of course, that's not going to dampen either siblings' ardor for the other.

I suppose the stroke story resolution would be a threesome with Mamie. But I think it would be more gratifying in the long run if there is some nasty drama that ends with Sara and her brother developing a deeper, more adult relationship.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Marnie

I'm surprised that so many people are against the idea of the main characters moving in with Marnie. What makes the story compelling (and so fucking hot) is the taboo of it; once the characters completely give in, the story is over and has no place left to go. So I don't see them running away and making babies (though having them _want to_ is certainly hot and understandable). It'd be a "happy" ending, sure, but I think it would both be a less interesting ending and would be less of a turn-on for those of us that go wild for the forbiddenness of it all: "We're being bad," are the hottest three words ever written. Please keep the sex _bad_.

So contrary to most everyone else, I say follow your original vision for the story (with Sara attempting to wean David off of her using Marnie as a standin). I want Sara and David to fuck, definitely. But I don't think that David sleeping with Marnie (whether or not described explicitly in the text) could hurt anything. I want them to be fighting their desires every step of the way.

The Hot Tub, I think, is my favorite story on the site, though you have a _ton_ of standouts to choose from. But, god, I keep coming back to that one. And some of the hottest scenes are where he's fucking Sophie, not T. Because the dirty talk drives me insane and builds the suspense, and makes the ending with T that much riskier and sexier and so fucking _bad_.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Love It

Actually, I think if you have them move in together and Marnie as well...a three way for David! Also, maybe Sara can do some bisexual stuff too! But you've GOT to keep Sara and David together and having LOTS of great sex! Marnie can be fit into the story very naturally if they both enjoy her together, why can't they both fall in love with Marnie too and still have each other every day?

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Amazing

We don't want Marnie in it because what they share is so beautiful, so amazing and wonderful, throwing her into it would make it cheap, dirty. I can't wait for the next one!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Your Choice!

I'll tell you why we don't want Marine, it takes away from the love aspect of the story, BUT I think if you do it the right way we will all accept it. Maybe they can try it and decided they like it just the two of them and kick her out, or they can agree that she can be another person they try to keep their relationship from but then that would defeat the purpose of them moving out. Well you are The Tease-master, so I'm sure you will find a way to keep us Cumming Back for more, whatever you decide.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Maybe Marnie

I don't so much like the idea of Marnie. But not because I think David and Sara should get married and have kids--that would be completely corny and unrealistic. I can accept Marnie if you make her just a pawn that temporarily gets caught up in their emotional games.

I think you could explore David's jealous side more. Maybe Sara feels the need to wean David off of her because he is getting too jealous and controlling. I just hope you don't make Marnie a permanent fixture in their lives. While David and Sara don't have to end up together, I think most people still want the story to center on their relationship, and not some third party.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
perhaps

The idea of Marnie being there is so out of the blue atm, if you want us to accept it you'll need to work it in so that there is an emotional as well as a sexual connection to her. If anyone can do that you can, but the privacy of their relationship, the way the taboo of it isolates them and brings them closer, thats one of the most attractive aspects for me.

The story was amazing, as usual, I love the style and imagery. I think they should move in together, more encounters where the atmosphere and privacy is created by the characters and not the situation. Perhaps some kind of event where they go with different partners and end up together.

I must stress that once again I'm in awe of your writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
marnie? please no...

I am a huge fan of your works even English is my 3rd language.I admire of your style of escalating the heat between the couple,punctuation of the hesitancies and the true lust of characters.

I read every word of your work here.If I may,please do not add another character between them. Its one of the most attracting side of the story is the purity of love they are sharing.Not a 3some fantasy or cheap penetration descriptions.

Ilike your idea of sharing a house just for them.

Thanks for your great effort.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
i agree with the emotion part of it

I think that he needs to finally "feel" the emotion part of it. Their needs to be a connection more than sex.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
On Marnie

First of all I love your writing in general, and the Sara stories in particular. The two so far are certainly among the best I've read on the site. Many thanks. More would be always be welcome.

With regard to Marnie, I think what matters is that she's used to enhance what you're already doing well. The strengths of the first two parts lie in the believability of the situation, the tension, and the personal connection. It feels real, exciting and personal.

As others have mentioned, it's pretty clear that Marnie could be used to heighten the tension. The key is to do this without losing the believability or character. For me that means avoiding the usual all-women-are-bisexual bit, as well as some kind of let's-all-have-one-big-threesome conclusion.

On the other hand, if you're involving Marnie significantly, then I'd want to be interested in her as a character. If she's merely a pawn/object/catalyst-for-jealousy, then there's an extent to which she'll be diluting the narrative. I'd rather see Sara and David develop strong connections to her (preferably not sexual from Sara), and leave David with a more nuanced choice than between taboo-but-wonderful, and safe-but-dull.

I guess you'd have to write some scenes from Sara's perspective if you were going to develop the Sara<->Marnie connection without going all threesometastic. Of course you could just use the diary again for that - living in their own apartment could make Sara think it's safe to use the diary; being jealous at David+Marnie could make her both less cautious, and more in need of reflection. That'd be a natural way to throw a load of Sara's thoughts on David into a Sara+Marnie scene, while keeping it through David's eyes.

I think that by using a fully developed and involved Marnie, you'll have the opportunity to end things on a more complex and interesting note.

With luck you're way ahead of me on all this anyway, and will do things differently-but-better.

[[[Finally, one small criticism which only bothers me because your writing is so involving: occasionally you've used incorrect homonyms of the words you mean (a few "your"s where you mean "you're"s, a "whose" where you meant "who's", an "it's" where you meant "its").

It's a tiny point next to the many merits of your writing, but it does break me out of the reality of the story for a moment. The fact that it's such a compelling reality makes it more upsetting to leave.]]]

Thanks again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
So fucking hot...

From the first touches on the top bunk to David taking Sara from behind...Incredible. Moving in with Marnie could be interesting because they would have to keep their relationship secret from her. I love the idea of them almost getting caught by her. I am not that interested in a threesome, but I do like the idea of Marnie teasing both siblings seperately with her own agenda. Just keep her unaware of their relationship.

Your writing is incredible. I feel like you know my desires. Please don't ever stop. J

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
idea

you have have the two siblings move in together, but have sara mature and grow up into conventional society. maybe she gets a career job and becomes attached to a coworker, or the coworker to her. this provides an opportunity for sara to normalize and not be bad anymore. the tension of the story is kept with sara drifting away from her brother socially yet their love and lust remains present.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
So real and sensual

I absolutely enjoyed your Sara series - so real and sensual as to where to go next? I loved it when they were almost caught by their parrents or in bar where she was on his lap. The unexplored region of anal sex is also worth exploring. But also consider the things they would do at home during a normal week day - the close encounters, the secret meetings and the teasing and the dangers of being caught out. Wow - please continue your amazing talent.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Great Story

This story is just great. Maybe having marnie in the story would create more jealousy, on Sara's part, and cause her to chase instead. It would be interesting to see them grow apart because of Marnie. haha i don't know, i'm not an author and certainly do not have the imagination that you have. Great story again, hope you release the next part soon!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
more more

where is the next part got to ? the first two parts came so close together what happened its too good to stop now lol

scribbleskillzscribbleskillzover 15 years ago
easily one of my favorites!

I have no idea why I kept skipping over this series when browsing the pages of Lit, but about a month ago, I dove in and have yet to be disappointed with your work. This series is so captivating i can hardly describe it. well done, sir. I really hope you continue. as for where to go from here... well i do think they should move in together to keep interest. sure introduce marnie, bring her there as well, but in order to keep the strength of the story, i believe, Sara needs to be a part of their union if it is to occur. wish you luck and can't wait to read what comes out of it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
WOW

Just one of the best. It starts out real smooth and then builds. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
publisher

hello

i think you should make this into a book

peaple will love it

there are some assholes who whould hate it

but most will love it

finish this story off

and then send send send!

(to the publisher's)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
I wish..

You wrote more often.. your stories turn me on like nothing else.

yumagoyumagoabout 15 years ago
The second I wish....

I agree, I really wish you wrote more. Your stories are amazing! I think I've liked your stories more than anyone else's on this site. Please, I'm practically on my knees here, continue this masterpiece!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Still Waiting

Your stories have continued to build, in entertainment and in quality, and I'm anxious for more...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
One of the best

The Sara stories are some of the best I've read here. Adding Marnie to the mix after they move to their own apartment would be an interesting continuation of the series. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Well done

I loved it, i hope you continue the series!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
Wow...........

That has to be THE hottest story ever. Never have I read something so erotic. I found myself grinding my pussy on the chair in line with your words. I am just sooo horny now.

I'm off to find my vibrator!

Oh yeah, thank you!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Nice Story

Very well done, hope this series continues. The story is compelling and well constructed in ways not often found on Literotica. Hope to see more of this series.

DigitalneoDigitalneoalmost 14 years ago
An idea

Great story so far, not often do you read so much build up and conflict. As the reader I literally want it as much as the characters.

PashasBabyPashasBabyalmost 14 years ago
SMDH

I can't believe I never commented on this little tale. Obviously I love it since I come back time and again. Please, if you ever continue the Sara/David stories do not make Marnie a principal charcter. Write her like you wrote Mike, only as contrast to the real deal. The beauty of the way you write is partly due to the "hermetically sealed" world of the two. Everyone and everything else is irrelevant.

K.K.L.B. ^_^

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Wow!

This is an awesome story!! One of the best i've read! Really well done! I really hope that you are going to continue this series at some point in the near future??? I for one cannot wait!

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Best story on Literotica

All the Sara stories are awesome. The best I've read on here. I find them to be very unique and entertaining. Please continue them.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Know when to fold 'em

In Sara's Pants and Sara's Car Trip are two of the best stories, two of the best characters, two of the most enjoyable and thrilling experiences, in my more than 20 years of story collecting! You are VERY talented.

However I see you asking your readers to tell you where to go. Those who can, write, those who can't tell other writers what to write. Odds are their advice will take you down the slope from the pinnacle you've reached and into mundane territory occupied by so very many mediocre stories. Threesomes. Bondage. Countless fetishes. Ho. Hum. Click!

You likely know why these stories are so wildly popular and successful. The characters are way above porn, real, gentle, tender, loving people who care about each other. Ignore the entreaties of others to create just more porn, and continue to develop these characters only if what they do feels to YOU as though it's a natural 'nother thing they might do together, while keeping them as themselves.

Otherwise, fold them, spoon them together, and let more millions of readers discover them without getting bored with them because they went on too long and became very ordinary.

Danno19Danno19about 13 years ago
Sara

Titty fuck part sent me off ...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Wonderful!

I usually don't go in for this genre but you may have changed my mind. I read this story and "In Sara's Pants" to my husband as we drove back from his sister's house after New Years. The stories we write for each other have just taken a delicious turn!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Good Work

Excellent Story Telling. The Conflict and the battle of the characters to no completely consumate their passion is what shows the calibre of your writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

This story is still incomplete. We never find out if they moved in together or not. I hope you do eventually finish this story someday.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Happy Ending

I really want to see Sara and David move into their own place and live happily ever after. They have fallen in love and should be together.

Thank you for the great story.

styx4444styx4444almost 13 years ago
Another?

Please add another story to this series, it's outstanding. I can't wait for it to keep going

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

To let Sara and David move in with each other is a great idea. Not so sure about Marnie. That would make it tricky, and more difficult to balance the story. You could actually end up destroying the story by making it a threesome. Keep Sara and David together, and make them move. My advice would be to just keep it at those two, but if you need to put Marnie in, don't fall for the temption to move it to an orgy of lesbianism. And most importanly whatever you do, DON'T bring in Mike or any other male in the story. The moment you do that the story is doomed...

My experience with stories that has two girls and a male in it is that the stories that doesn't include lesbian interactions are much better. Stories with lesbian sex and a male partner gets corny and akward, and have a total lack of realiscm wich wipes out the entire story, and quickly looses the interest of the readers.

As said. Preferably just keep it at David and Sara. That would make your writing easier, and you won't have to struggle to keep the balance in the story all the time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
i agree with the whoever said this

First off, great story.I agree with one of the other commentors, adding Marnie isn't right. The story is great as it is with their internal struggle as it is. Marnie isn't even a intrical character in the story so bringing her in would be completely out of left field. If you are still intent on adding another element. Make their little brother more involved, but not in a sexual way. You could make him findout or that he already knows. His character is more integrated in the story than marnie. Its just a thought but please don't add marnie.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
holy mother of god!

In Sara's Pants and In Sara are two of the absolutely BEST erotic stories I have ever read on this site or anywhere. The emotional conflict and sexual tension develop so skillfully. I do not think you should add Marnie; as has been stated, doing so would detract from the excellence you've developed thus far and would negatively change the relationship. Personally, I would like to read them discover anal sex, but that's my own fetish. Your writing on this story is wonderful. I look forward to reading more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Ass

I agree with those who say marnie shouldn't get involved, maybe if your taboo of the brother sister intimacy is getting less 'hot', you could consider adding the new taboo of anal with his sister because she's never done it or because she still doesn't let him fuck her as soon as they move in

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Best Story Ever

You have an undeniably story telling talent. The In Sara series is the best pieces of erotica in the Taboo category. The stories get hotter and hotter. I think in the next chapter, Sara begins spending less time with David while keeping the teasing constant in an attempt to persuade him that moving in together is a great move. There's no doubt that their lust only intensifies after that point. Also, I agree to keep the focus on David and Sara.

GianettaGianettaover 12 years ago
Delicious

You've captured the essence of great erotic writing with your rhythm and style and what you reveal, layer by layer, tantalizes.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Unlike everyone else, I do think you should include Marnie. Maybe make it to where they all start being together, and are moved in with each other, all together.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
An enthralling commentry

Ive read a lot of these stories and yours is undoubtedly in a league of its own. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story and had to finish it rather than get jobs done lol. You have a talent. Perhaps Marnie moving in could provide the excuse for them to be together behind closed doors until they decide to take it a stage further and be open as a couple even if they choose to hide their biological ties. I look forward to the next installment. All the best and thanks for a great read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
I like this series better...

I think Sara and David's story is much better than Sara and Jason's. Are you going to ever add a new story to this one? Personally, I'd rather not see something trite like a threesome with marnie...that would add a sleazy element to something that is already, well, skirting the lines of sleazy. I would rather see David dating marnie to wean himself off of Sara and ultimately failing miserably....but in the end, these two could never be together because it's not realistic and then the whole relationship would lose its thrill....which is why I like how in the later Jason stories both of them feel a real sense of conflict. Anyway, good job.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Tremendous Stuff

What a feel you have for what sex is like at its best!!! And for what sexual love is like at its best!! And love also!! Since you portray real love and uncontrollable attachment so beautifully!! Whatever, don't stop!! We need this kind of feeling just to be human!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
Please...

Please, please, PLEASE revisit this story!!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

I really like this story. Very good build-up an character evolution.

I think, the two should move in together, but without Marnie or anyone else. Leave them teasing and in conflict until David is graduating and then let him move in with Sara. Maybe some regrets and jealousy, but I think they are meant to be a couple.

swami69swami69almost 12 years ago
Continue, please!

Yes, this story sings with eroticism and energy! Keep up the tension and playfulness and if Marnie is part of the mix, go for it! Wow!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
wow

I cant wait for more, this so far is the best i have read on here. please hurry.

BDrockerBDrockerover 11 years ago
I hope YOU DO read this

If you are ever going to continue this story, I suggest you keep Mernie out of it. Besides, Sara's lack of eagerness is intriguing. She is still having second thoughts about their relationship after all these sexual encounters, which is as good as David raping her, since he is the one with all the 'urges'. And why do Sara still go out with Mike? David has shown his faithfulness by only thinking of her. Surely, Sara is being driven by lust and confusion. If you add a sequel, please create an environment so that Sara will be able to get rid of the hesitation and reluctance. Romance can not be pursued from one side only.

ChasBChasBover 11 years ago
No More, Please

So strange! But so evocative of sexual dependence and power. I wonder if youbadboy should ever try to go any further with this story. It seems complete as it is.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I'm conflicted

This did seem a good place to leave - but there's a certain inevitability that these two are never going to manage to stop. What's written probably has enough darkness that you could do episodes through their adult lives ( instead of directly continuing ) just showing basically how they can't keep their hands off each other no matter what - and how it's never the same with anyone else, and how that makes them feel conflicted and alive and ... I don't know about guilt. I don't think they'd feel guilty about anything more than not feeling enough for whoever their other partners were, if they had them.

Incest stories quite often don't really go far enough in bringing out the incest side and all the ups and downs that particular situation brings, quite often they're more like people role-playing. This one had it's moments - not particularily strongly but maybe enough - and I think there's most definitely more to be discovered.

She is more than complicit in this whole thing, but I think she needs to occasionally be the actual instigator.

The sex almost got me tripping out again, I'm desperately jealous of your gift!

bseeker6969bseeker6969over 11 years ago
Ideas? Yup, got one.

When I can let go and free up my fingers, I may have something/somewhere this can go. No spoilers in comments though.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Please continue

Marnie should be out of the story by now. Sara would have given herself to David sooner if he could have told her that he loved her. She should not have given into him until he was able to do so. But she did, and he finally did. Is Sara on the pill? Somehow she could end up pregnant. They could then just move away and get married.

This is a very romantic, well written story with much feeling expressed between the characters. Looking forward to more love and romance between these two.

_rod__rod_over 10 years ago
More please

I believe you still have room to continue this story as you have written a beautiful love story so far. I say love story even though you have both of them, at times, not acknowledging their love for one another. The story line lends itself to either setting up 'home' together or, eventually living with other partners and coming together occasionally for mind blowing love and sex.

Whatever you come up with please continue as you obviously have plenty of fans ready to lap up whatever your 'pen' dictates.

bigdaddyg123bigdaddyg123over 10 years ago
"In Sara:" (Ch. 02) - David and Sara - (Brother and Sister)

The writer has some choices to make!! This series is either: 1) A stroke, muddied story of INFIDELITY; or, 2) A ROMANCE story of and about sibling INCEST love!!

Personally for me, this genre and category is about incest--where in reality INFIDELITY very rarely ever happens!! Infidelity is worse and more hazardously in incestual relationship affairs than it is in non-incestual love affairs!!!!! Those readers wanting threesomes (with maybe the addition of Marnie or some other pussy and/or swinging dick), or moresomes, or lesbianism, or bi-sexual action, or gay and/or homosexual perversions, etc., have other venues, categories and genre's to get their jollies than fucking up and mucking up and making this romance, sibling incest story into some gutter, slutty, stroke, snake-pit porn story, having no concept of true incest love affairs and relationships!

Sara is IN love with her brother!! She is struggling constantly with getting her brother to understand her feelings--and deeply hoping she can get him to be IN love with her in return. She has proposed they live together as a couple, living and acting as any young adolescent couple, in love, happy, contented, and not ever wanting any one else in their lives--ever, never!!! She has expressed herself to the deepest core of her being to spend forever with her brother, as her man, her life, her "husband", and probably on the verge of vowing for David even being the father of their children!! This is the only direction for this story to evolve and endure!

bgblacknylonslvrbgblacknylonslvrover 10 years ago
more

It's got to be more it's still not resolved

Mr Wild willyMr Wild willyover 10 years ago
Stay with the Romance!

Get David to GROW UP and admit he is in love with SARA and commit himself. I don't feel Marnie is needed, but she could be used to get David straightened out to what he has with Sara and appreciate her more. You are a great talent, just get these two together permasnently, however it has to happen, even if Mom has to find out. Then David could fight to be with Sara, convincing their Mom of their love. IMHO

his2pethis2petover 10 years ago
Sara! Sara!

I love how David's dream overwhelms him. Fear of his sister detsroyed by her love for him and crying in agony as David realizes through her devastation how much he loves her and readily admitting it. Their subsequent freefall through space and their fear of how their complicated lovestory will end with their demise is eloquent. Waking with that fear of having lost her, crying out to her in the dark, reaching out for her and holding on to her for dearlife as if she were the only thing keeping him tethered to this world was superb.

Where to go from here? Well, I see many possibilities. Seeing as how they went to sleep naked in her bed and he has just awoken calling out her name in her bed..... Did Mom hear him and the panick in his voice and come looking for him only to find them in their embrace? Someone mentioned Mom finding out somehow and having David fight for Sara. This would definitely lead well into this scenario while also proving his love to Sara in a way that would allay all her fears of him seeing her as only a lover and not lifelong partner. I would like to see them move out on their own and start a family. But they need to completely open their hearts to each other in every way to strengthen this new love between them.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Just don't have him TAKE her again. Even in an Incestous relationship that is disgusting, even if it turned out to be just a dream sequence the description of the act of force turnes my stomach. This was a wonderful story before you muddied the waters. Does He love her really? Will they move in together? If he tries to resist his urges will she continue to tease him? If he doesn't get what he wants will he simply rape her again? You need to resolve some questions here and Marnie is still NOT a good idea nor is Mike. They just served to piss each other off useing Marnie and Mike so you can't use either of them as a love interest now.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Sara

I'd like to see David impregnating his own sister and Them they can ho to live somewhere

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
A great story, and I love...

the comment from happybrother. This cool dude not only fucked his sister over and over again in years gone by, but he continues to blow his brotherly balls up his sis's sweet little slit whenever they get together even now. Happybrother thinks he may have fucked a baby up his sis's cunt, and I'm sure that he did. He and his sister know where a brother's creamy sperm belongs--up his own sister's warm wet twat.

cauc4fun69cauc4fun69almost 10 years ago
story idea

Yes, they should move in. They become more and more sexual. He starts college. He comes home one day to find his sister and Marnie fucking. They are taken by suprise. Marnie starts to cover up, but Sara whispers to her to ask him to join. Fast forward, she moves in and has no idea about the brother and sister relationship that they have. They have been sharing Marnie, but one day while fucking her, they start kissing and fucking. She is intrigued. Fast forward, he ends up getting them both pregnant? I would like to see some "virgin" ass play. He tries to fuck her ass and finds out that she has never expierenced it?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Sara as possible adopted daughter

I have had a deep connection with your stories about Sara and somewhere in me I think they should be resolved, with at least one being a possible un-relating of the "relation" aspect through the revelation that she is really an adopted daughter/sister in this story. Also can you right a story about a step sister and brother that find an acceptable way to eventually find themselves married and that the family is OK with it in the end?

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
I love your storys

I love how they have come this far it's a intense love story. I don't like reading but when I started reading your stories I can't stop reading your stories my favorite are with Sara and David tbh I don't mind the thought of incest. Most people think it's weird but when two people love each other if they are gay if they are related I don't think that should madder they love each other and even if people don't believe in that it's not there choice nothing madder but what they think of each other. That's another reason why I like your storys it's motivational

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
STORY Quote: " I was beyond hungry and not interested in following the rules. I was ready to take what I wanted this time."

STORY QUOTE: " I was beyond hungry and not interested in following the rules. I was ready to take what I wanted this time."

I find it hard to identify with any character that thinks this. Do you think it's possible people that read this story might think this is okay?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Good story

This is one of the best written stories in this site. The sexual tension between them is so real. Well done. More please.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Anonymous before cupcake_Kandi knows his shit

I mean who has the right to tell someone that they can't love someone just because their related. If it's a brother and sister, sister and sister or brother and brother. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. People can't help who they love, and these stories show that.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Could of ruined it

At least the author didn't bring Marnie into the mix and ruin it. But he could of added more to the story and bring them to a more enjoyable ending. But it looks like he gave up after no one really wanted Marnie brought into the story. He evidently pouted over that.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
NO Marnie! Just the two of them please !

The best stories have a strong emotional bond that goes beyond raging hormones. She predicted this would happen before: "I will fall in love with you" and she has. He has been in love with her only he may think it's lust , infatuation, whatever. Guys tend to catch on slower than girls and generally speaking, lit erotica stories involving sibling sex the guys are always so clueless but the manner in which you write these two characters are wonderful, three dimensional and reflect on the very human nature of how people fall in love regardless who that person may be especially if it is taboo love. I think this story has legs and the potential to expand into a multi chapter series is very good! Capitalize on where they are at now and perhaps how , with the possibility of losing her to someone she would be "allowed" to date as viewed by society makes him mature faster and realize her offer to move in with her is not such a bad idea as he may have thought. In fact the potential for privacy , especially at a school and / or a location where no one knows them (and maybe toss in an unexpected visit to their school by Mike, Marnie or their younger brother that places them in danger of revealing all) would be an added bonus and a challenge that they rise to the occasion and meet. Excellent writing! Love it! Keep going!

Best always and respectfully,

Ray

Alwaysup3@ hotmail.com

(Feel free to email me: would love to hear from you)

prop69prop69over 7 years ago
I am Lost

I loved the story, but I lost it at the end.

Are they alive? What happened in the Epilogue

I hope there is someone smarter to help me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Keep it going

Please more!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Meh

Average story. Editing is horrendous. Grammar mistakes all over the place. Free story so thanks for the mediocre read and the stars you didn't deserve. 2/5

MarshallaMarshallaalmost 7 years ago
Strange ending, ...

... and it lost me, too. I hope, if you're writing another chapter, you can clear things up.

Considering the sex was more than hot, this is NOT a "mediocre story", though it does need some closer proof reading.

I give it 4/5, just from the descriptive sexuality.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
good

I enjoy the dynamics of the tension and the teasing. The ending was unexpected and is a good hook for continuing the story. I was expecting Sarah to relate more about the consequences of giving herself to her brother. There is a need for better editing and proof reading.

RontheSwansonRontheSwansonalmost 6 years ago
Keep them together

Keep Mike and Marnie out of it that adds too much jealousy.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
More!

I know its been a while but can you do more of this story, I'm dieing to know how it ends.

MhouserMhouseralmost 6 years ago
Don't add

Don't add Mike and Marnie just grow their love

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Love it

So glad the sister didn’t try to wean David off with marnie bc it wld have felt like she didn’t want him back. And then it wld have made it seem like she didn’t have genuine feelings for him. Tht wld have ruined the story. Thanks for keeping them together.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago

This is really well written. That final scene - wow! Would love to hear what happens next for Sara and David

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
5 Perfect

By stopping here you ended right. I can imagine David & Sara living together 'happily ever after'. Anyway the imagery, the emotion, & the sex was super.

renogoogirlrenogoogirlalmost 5 years ago
5 STARS 🌟

Very close to perfect. Great writing style.

Ravus_SapiensRavus_Sapiensalmost 4 years ago
4 Stars... Also: WHAT???

First the good: I really liked the story, and I hope you will continue writing more chapters.

Then the bad I felt like you were edging a little too close to rape a few times for my liking, I know that is someone's kink, but it's not mine.

Also, what was that ending? I was left so confused, I mean, was everything a dream? Was it not actually a dream? A little of both maybe? There really needs to be a followup chapter to clear that up.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Play On!

Nearly perfect story. I particularly appreciated the joy David got out of feeling up his sister, over and over. and his sensitivity over not cuming inside Sara until she was finally ready for it. Hope there is a future chapter still to come. I don't know about Marnie joining the party. but I do wonder about David getting to do his mom, when Sara goes away. Thanx for the read!

shyspudshyspudover 3 years ago

please more....

it needs more

like any fine work, it requires completion....please

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

More please!

They should be together, David and Sara. Now that they have an established relationship, Sara needs to steer more continuously towards the needs of a committed relationship. Sara and her libido should continue in the good direction she and David are starting to establish, if she comes to find she actually is falling in love with, or does love, David. So, no more Mike in any sexual or confusing way for our two.. They should get out of the house, together. Also, no Marnie, unless as cover, or to provide emotional support, or to help David realize that he needs to take care of his sister emotionally as well.

David's start at maturation was well-handled, by the way.

This prompts acknowledging two problems.

1) You have not written in 8 years on this account.

2) I am not you, cannot write for you, and I hope that me spinning possibilities does not limit you, or make you feel uncomfortable if I covered anything that is what you wanted to do.

Thanks for writing. I hope you are still enjoying writing, maybe in another account or somewhere else.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

what was that ending? I was left so confused, I mean, was everything a dream? Was it not actually a dream? A little of both maybe? There really needs to be a followup chapter to clear that up.it requires completion....please

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

They should be together and struggle to understand their feelings. Realizing it is hopeless to leave each other. A bound that can not be achieved with just a male/female relationship. Something is different, something they can not put their finger on. Something that is continuing to grow in their mind and emotions. Something that makes them realize they can not be apart. But there is no way to make it work because they are brother/sister. But there might be a way, Marnie is fucking her brother also. Then the light dawns, thy realize there is a way to make it work.

MindsMirrorMindsMirrorover 2 years ago

Was this ever finished? Are the other Sara stories related? If so is there a guide for us?

-MM

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What happen to Sara and Jason after her pregnancy . Every time a think of Sara I get raging hard on . I know a couple of women named SARA and your stories make it hard to be around them especially because they know my wife

brisymanbrisymanabout 2 years ago

Loved it.........I could feel my dick growing!

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