All Comments on 'Vengeance Ch. 01'

This chapter is an interesting beginning. I'm not sure how a robbery yields enough insurance money to make a difference to a store in decline, though. And for the hubby to come in and commit suicide (after killing the wife; that part's logical), that seems a little odd given that he was in conspiracy with her and/or her boss. Overall, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

-- KK in Texas

"everything take from him by the greed of one man...?!" Oh, poor man. So he is blameless in this case? Yeah, right. He eagerly beds a married woman and is angry there are consequences? Granted, the consequences were a bit harsh but he made his own Karmic bed. Sure, the shop owner has to pay but the only person the protagonist has to blame is the person he sees in the mirror. His behavior/attitude is typical of the narcissist he is. I have no sympathy, nor should anyone else.

a real loser. cant get a single girl? yikes! so many out there. of course, he has to pick up a hardworking man"s wife. phsss. he better start going to church. the husband at least spared his life and health.

As K.K. pointed out — it is an interesting beginning. Alas, there are (as other comments raise,) a bunch of holes in the story. (BTW — How can a robbery actually help a businesses financial health? Watch "The Getaway"— the original Steve McQueen, Sam Peckinpaw version.) Another credulity stretching fantasy: our hero has a 12"cock. Oh boy! Does he leap tall buildings too? LOL! But, story can still be redeemed.

There are just too many logical flaws for this story to go anywhere without major revisions of the foundation. Let me point out just a few:

One does not get sent to a Federal prison for robbing a convenience store. That would be a State crime and result in incarceration at a State facility.

If the husband found the key, how did he know it belonged to the protagonist's house and where he worked, etc?

If a business is failing, as others pointed out, the insurance payoff from a robbery claim could hardly make a significant difference - even if a stop-n-rob could somehow obtain such insurance, an unlikely enough scenario in itself.

How was the husband able to set up a conspiracy with the employer? It can't be all that easy to get someone to agree to commit perjury, insurance fraud and false reporting of a crime, just to help out a cuckold.

When a person is convicted of a felony and imprisoned, the authorities most assuredly do not put the convict's personal belongings, automobile, etc, in storage. Simply not the State's responsibility. More importantly, the State would certainly NOT put the key piece of evidence (the gun) in a storage locker!

As mentioned, the protagonist took up with a married woman and then is outraged over the consequences of his actions - rather sophomoric, if you ask me, and makes it impossible to have any sympathy for him. Through a series of logically impossible or improbable circumstances, the protagonist is imprisoned and then freed, and now is off on a quest for reparations for his damaged life. The blame lies solely with him; he has b een shown to be a self-centered, selfish and egotistical person with little respect for others - why in the world would anyone want to ready anything further about him and his fool's errands?

This just reads too much like the puerile reasoning of an amoral gangbanger who seeks to justify his pathological behavior by claiming society is at fault, or the school, or the law, or anyone but himself.

Hey, baby! Just wanted to take a moment to post some feedback to one of my favorite stories! Vengeance, in my opinion, is a literary genius!

First of all, to spark the feedback that it has means that you struck a nerve, a passion within a few individual readers to prompt a type of debate for the affirmative or the negative.

Secondly, this is Literotica, EROTIC LITERATURE...

"Literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire. dealing with sexual love."

...which does NOT have to follow traditional "LOGIC" of real life and can even border fantasy kind of like the movie THE MATRIX! There were facets to that movie that defied "LOGIC", but, it was still a great movie and a BLOCKBUSTER HIT worldwide. Go figure. However, I personally can appreciate much of the feedback provided by 07/27/08 by Anonymous. Definitely some food for thought! Can't please all of the people all of the time, but, constructive criticism can and should be used to elevate already outstanding work!

"This just reads too much like the puerile reasoning of an amoral gangbanger who seeks to justify his pathological behavior by claiming society is at fault, or the school, or the law, or anyone but himself."

I do understand what 07/27/08 by Anonymous was saying, but, just for clarification, the writer is an educated man, currently serving in the armed forces (in Iraq) and is far from being an amoral gangbanger with pathological behavior.

As for the 12" cock...hmmmmm...let's just say, "our hero" is loosely based on the author and he is EXTREMELY well endowed and was very modest in his description of his girth. He may not physically be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but, he can certainly make a woman think she can! Ha, ha, ha!

Good stuff, baby! Keep writing! Whatever you do, don't stop! You can only go UP FROM HERE! ***SMILE & WINK***

Story not belivable, plus I really don't care what happens to anyone. I'll skip the rest.

I wonder what would happen if everybody who has posted comments so far would actually stick around and actually watch the story develop...

It was his own damn fault (and hers). He will be right back in prison, this time for life. He will not be missed and no one will care when someday he dies in prison and is dumped in the prison cemetary. Should have stayed away from married women.

Thanks for sharing.