- All
Comments (4) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Fine story. Just learn how to spell tongue.
The thing in your mouth is spelled tongue. Otherwise, a nice story.
First submission
This is my first submission, so I'd appreciate anything constructive anyone might offer. Thanks about the spelling thing, tongue is one of those words I always fuck up. But glad you liked it otherwise
Nice...
Nice, but not Hot... sorry. It was a very good first submission though and the more you write, the better you'll get -- I promise! Even if a word looks like it's spelled correctly, check on dictionary.com to make sure. I found this out the hard way after having submissions rejected for misspellings. You might want to get a volunteer editor (there are A LOT of them) to go over your next submission. S/he can make changes and suggestions that might have never occured to you to polish your story and get it a higher rating. Keep writing! NEVER get discouraged by criticism and negative Feedback!
good.
i just found this story, and it really is good. wish i'd found it sooner. thanks...
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to My Favorite Holiday or
More submissions by SteelAndSilk.