There are some nice elements in this story, but the lack of proper punctuation and dearth of dialogue detract from the prose. Commas are your friends.
by
Anonymous08/23/08
She's never gone backdoor, yet has anal lube?
We're presented with the idea that the unidentified woman involved somehow "knew" you wanted to sodomize her, yet we're not given any clues or information as to why this is, or why she would have thought ahead to have anal lube on hand for the occasion.
It also plays directly into conservative gender propaganda in suggesting anal sex is strictly about Him (you), and that the woman is merely obliging The Man's desires, and (of course, in keeping with prevailing propaganda) not her own. The story could to be fleshed out a bit, and the characters not quite as conventional.
English
Cliff Notes version of a sex scene
There are some nice elements in this story, but the lack of proper punctuation and dearth of dialogue detract from the prose. Commas are your friends.
She's never gone backdoor, yet has anal lube?
We're presented with the idea that the unidentified woman involved somehow "knew" you wanted to sodomize her, yet we're not given any clues or information as to why this is, or why she would have thought ahead to have anal lube on hand for the occasion.
It also plays directly into conservative gender propaganda in suggesting anal sex is strictly about Him (you), and that the woman is merely obliging The Man's desires, and (of course, in keeping with prevailing propaganda) not her own. The story could to be fleshed out a bit, and the characters not quite as conventional.
Good for you ...
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