All Comments on '31st Century Warrior's Woman Ch. 01'

...It needs a little bit of work. There were a few grammer and spelling issues that need to be adressed - because they interupt the flow of the story and leave the reader having to jump back and re-read it a little to get the gist of what you are saying. You have a good idea here, a very good idea actually, and with a little work on the editing, perhaps some smoother description, you could have a really really captivating story.

Very good start I'm interested to see where you take these characters. You've already skillfully set the scene for sexual tension and denial / attraction.

Good storyline, but the editing is horrific. If you can work on you editing, I really believe you would do quite well. You have potential. Keep working and don't give up.

The story is good, but very hard to read - and not just because of the grammar issues. As you mentioned, you converted this to a sci-fi piece, and I think the whole story could use more descriptions such as exactly who the New Agers versus the Combatants are, and how Maggie got to be in her situation (before her capture - unless you have plans for another chapter). Other things you might want to think about are: WHAT is the Earth like 1000 year from now? WHY is it like that, etc.

"clothing she was wearing was the apparel of a woman who worked in as a whore."

There is a mistake in the sentence above, see whether you can find it.