All Comments on 'This Could Be Love'

That is the only word I could use to describe this story. I knew at the end what you were trying to say but the story was so muddled, so oddly constructed, that at one point I thought you had mistakenly merged it with another. Your flashback and transition simply did not work. It made your story almost incomprehensible.

Well, the original formatting of it didn't carry across for some reason - there were mini-headings with timings to clearly define each part. It's also part of a wider 8 part series on another site - the other parts probably wouldn't fit in here due to their content.

Thanks for the feedback though - just noticed the formatting didn't carry over in the first part either.

Hard to follow, could have been great, please keep working.