All Comments on 'High and Low Ch. 02'

I didn't take to it as much as the first chapter but I think that's because the point of view slides about too much. This would have worked better as a straight lesbian scene (excuse the paradox) because we lost Simon as soon as the girls began to make out and they were a bit too one dimensional to carry it. If you made the chapter entirely from Simon's POV then the voyeurism, and thus, the sexuality of the scene would be heightened. You need to flesh the girls out more, even if it's just from Simon's recollections of their behaviour and concentrate more on what he's feeling, I think. That would make it more comprehensible. xx