I think they are going to have a real good summer. This is a well written story and I enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us....Rich
by
Anonymous09/29/08
Very tasty
That's what I call a caring sister . Do continue with their summer adventure .
by
Anonymous09/27/09
Encore!
I assume brother and sister fuck, so let there be at least one more chapter Pleeez.
Absolutely amazing! You're an extremely gifted writer and one hell of an imagination! No adjective I can think of could do this story justice. Well done!
by
Anonymous12/21/12
less than half
why did you post less than half a story? no background about what their relationship was like before this and no end all equals a half assed story. half a story is worse than no story at all.
by
Anonymous02/18/13
Jill
Just because they didn't talk about all the pointless shit like backgrounds and get straight to the point doesn't mean its half assed. Each writer on the website is free to be creative, share their imagination and let it come to life. There is no right or wrong way to write a story besides using correct grammar punctuation and spelling. Moron. Most people come here to read "erotic" short stories. Meaning it doesn't take all day to read.
by
Anonymous06/08/13
agree with less than half
it is the writers job to post a complete story that the readers will enjoy. a complete story has a beginning amiddle and an end this has only the middle and that was really rushed. you need to make the readers care about the characters and want to see them together a GOOD WRITER can do this you didn't. time to delete and rewrite it PROPERLY using a good editor this should be atleast three times longer broken into two or three chapters as is it sucks.
by
Anonymous11/19/13
i liked it
i don't think it was rushed..you gave enough background for me. it turned me on and got me off. would love to read a continuation :)
by
Anonymous03/05/14
continuation?
Beautiful story beginning. You need more chapters to make this more enjoyable. At least 2 or 3 more chapters. Your writing isn't bad. Just make the story longer. Ignore the arrogant commentator who said this sucked. He probably can't get it up anyway.
by
Anonymous04/03/16
contractions....
Learn how to use them... nobody says "I am cumming".... they say "I'm cumming"...it makes your characters sound like robots.
English
It sounds like it's going to be a good summer
I think they are going to have a real good summer. This is a well written story and I enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us....Rich
Very tasty
That's what I call a caring sister . Do continue with their summer adventure .
Encore!
I assume brother and sister fuck, so let there be at least one more chapter Pleeez.
Absolutely amazing! You're an extremely gifted writer and one hell of an imagination! No adjective I can think of could do this story justice. Well done!
less than half
why did you post less than half a story? no background about what their relationship was like before this and no end all equals a half assed story. half a story is worse than no story at all.
Jill
Just because they didn't talk about all the pointless shit like backgrounds and get straight to the point doesn't mean its half assed. Each writer on the website is free to be creative, share their imagination and let it come to life. There is no right or wrong way to write a story besides using correct grammar punctuation and spelling. Moron. Most people come here to read "erotic" short stories. Meaning it doesn't take all day to read.
agree with less than half
it is the writers job to post a complete story that the readers will enjoy. a complete story has a beginning amiddle and an end this has only the middle and that was really rushed. you need to make the readers care about the characters and want to see them together a GOOD WRITER can do this you didn't. time to delete and rewrite it PROPERLY using a good editor this should be atleast three times longer broken into two or three chapters as is it sucks.
i liked it
i don't think it was rushed..you gave enough background for me. it turned me on and got me off. would love to read a continuation :)
continuation?
Beautiful story beginning. You need more chapters to make this more enjoyable. At least 2 or 3 more chapters. Your writing isn't bad. Just make the story longer. Ignore the arrogant commentator who said this sucked. He probably can't get it up anyway.
contractions....
Learn how to use them... nobody says "I am cumming".... they say "I'm cumming"...it makes your characters sound like robots.
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