Jessica and the Two Rooms

Should

Have been in humor, sorry but I found this rather silly and not erotic, just bad porn.

This is REVENGE??????

You are one fucked-up dude, Flashlight7.5

revenge?

I fail to see the revenge. I should steal a million dollars and them maybe someone will get revenge on me by giving me 10 million more.

This is almost a stupid 9th graders thoughts.

The scene describes a group of whores and pimps. I kept waiting for the husband to say as he walked out of the room, they are all HIV positive............. Why would anyone want to be married to such a stupid and mentally ill woman?

Stick to the other categories because your ...

efforts in this area - suck! What revenge? One might think this author collaborated with the fucked up BonnieTaylor & sidekicks on this poor excuse of a story!

classic example of too much of a good thing

My thoughts were, that Steve was having her fucked so much that it would turn her off of sex,that would be the worst punishment for a slut.I wonder what that putz Dr. Phil would have to say about Steve's tactics....Rich

!

Letting a slut get fucked and sucked is not a punishment. It's a bit like saying to child, "you have eaten all those chocolates let me buy you some more" Nope the marriage should be over. But now he is twice the cuckold he was before. Okay so he gets to fuck Alice. Big deal.

No lights and no flashes here

A woman's body is used as a substitute to an inflated doll. The story is as erotic as an inflated doll. Skippabale.

Much Used Plot

It always amazes me that an author can write about turning a wife/slut into a bigger wife/slut and think that this constitutes revenge. It is a plot device that is seen all too often.
On the plus side the author did a very nice job using the mechanics of the English language. Paragraphing, sentence structure, grammar and punctuation are all done very well.
The Loving Wives genre needs good, solid writers who can weave sex into a story. Flashlight7.5 has the mechanics down, with any luck the next offering will bring more story and character development along with a fresher plot.

I don't

know what to think and 50 out of 100 should not make you comfortable. it just means there is potential. but a long as there is only a couple as flat as your screen, you can't hope for a better voting.

WTF

You better buy a dictionary. You have no idea what the word "love" or the word "revenge" means. Total shit story

very funny

Over the top funny, but a bit too long. Great work though.

Great Story! Very funny!

Even funnier the way you got the wacky peeps to comment!!! Ha Ha Ha!...love it

idiotic nonsense

.

caricature

I assume this story is meant to be a parody of those submissions which include these same behaviors in a serious vein. It appeared that each paragraph was meant to be one-up the paragraph preceding it. To me this effort was mildly amusing at best. It was simply too over the top. Thanks for the effort.

Very Amusing........

Boy, did Steve know how to handle a slut of a wife and he did get his revenge. His revenge would not have been completed with the help of Alice. Alice knew and there is nothing like a woman in love that has fooled around seeing her husband getting fucked. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, thinks have changed and all for the better. Keep uo the good writing and story content.

Let's see if I understand this...

She had sex with someone else, so to punish her, he makes her have sex with several someone elses and some hot chick. And now he thinks he's NOT a cuckold?
What alternate universe was this written in?

This was really over-done . . .

As satire, it was not really very subtle. Any part(s) of this story that was/were serious would be hard to believe for the reasons already stated by others. The gang-bang does not faze her -- she's already a slut. Of course, some of it seemed more like rape, and the interracial stuff makes me feel it really should be in that category, not loving wives. There really was no character development. The background was virtually nil. Enough said . . .

Pretty stupid plot--Ti get revenge implies that

there is an injured party---Hubby certainly is not injured except possibly by his own action.

hot damn....

Hey flash, pure raunch is right! It was well written, and touched a little but on every womans more secret of fantasies. Over the top - yes, very. Not the best I've ever read, but most certainly no-where near the worst!

Though, I believe that I read somewhere that this was a reader request and that that reader had a long list of 'honey do's" to be incorporated into this story. And as long as that one reader got their rocks-off nothing else matters. Perhaps you should have put a note at the beginning or the end stating such, some of the 'expert' readers may have gone a little bit easier on their feedback knowing that it was being written at someone else's request.

Cheers!

WHAT A MIND

What a mind you have just sick rambling is all i got out of this story the perverts will like it.

Now Let's See?

Okay, he was pissed because she fucked someone else! So he has her fuck a whole lot of someone else's. Now how exactly does this punish her? How does this make him feel good? If her fucking one guy hurt him then wouldn't her fucking a whole bunch hurt him worse? Look we all know these stories are fantasies but even fantasies should have some internal logic in their plot structure. You need to take a basic writing course before submitting anything else.

Fuckit this is a stupid story

Fuckit this is a stupid story, is this a writing class for village idiots?

Ridiculous

What kind of a man (man?) gets revenge on his wife after she cheats by treating her to a gabgbang that she had already fantasized about and, knew she would like it.
I would have her in the room and left her with the understanding that one of the blacks was going to hook her up with some drugs and ecstacy and then pimp her out.
Your story sucked, a real wimp would have just stayed home, told her knew and wanted to watch in the future.

then...

leave jessica behind and he goes a new direction, completely. when asked, you forgave me? He responds: I lied

1* garbage

Lousy

You get revenge on the cheating slut wife by making others fuck her silly? Divorce the cunt asshole.

Counterintuitive, or just call the husband stupid

So, does the husband punishes the slut by turning her into a gang bang slut?
The husband forgave her. Does he stay married to her?

Nasty! Hated it! #1

Nasty disgusting and hated it!

Hate fucking Nigger mix with white

The husband is a fucking whimp ass pussy. Also a disgusting piece of shit to touch her nasty ass after fucking niggers! He could have got revenge a better way yeah fucking the other guys girl that is great. Make his bitch watch but to let her get fucked by Niggers and Poor white trash men and letting her enjoy just shows he is a pussy ass bitch. An if he sit an watched he is a true faggot! He should have just had his nuts handed to a Real man because he sure as the hell is not one!