If the woman had any sense she would leave the her husband. He sounds like a real dickhead to me.
by
Anonymous10/06/08
good start, but then..........
The story line itself isn't bad. (It's a bit implausible, but forgiveable.) But the writing style!!! Pick a verb tense, and stick with it!!!!!!
-- KK in Texas
Noticed this was your first contri and it is not too bad for a first-timer. You do need to work on the verb tenses and do some clean-up editing. All in all, a good first effort. Keep 'em cumming!
Nice story, But why is she still married to Bob.
If the woman had any sense she would leave the her husband. He sounds like a real dickhead to me.
good start, but then..........
The story line itself isn't bad. (It's a bit implausible, but forgiveable.) But the writing style!!! Pick a verb tense, and stick with it!!!!!!
-- KK in Texas
Old story line
This is a reasonable treatment of a fairly old story line that reappears every holiday season.
The comment that the author should pick a tense and stick with it is a good one.
Nice first effort
Noticed this was your first contri and it is not too bad for a first-timer. You do need to work on the verb tenses and do some clean-up editing. All in all, a good first effort. Keep 'em cumming!
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