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Oh wow.....
What an emotional story. My heart also felt throughout this chapter as if it were being repeatibly ripped out. For a first story, this is really excellent. I'm totally hooked and will be looking forward to the coming chapters to this. Great job!! :-D
I agree
very emotional story that tugged at my heart strings. Looking forward to the next chapter.
good beginning!
But then, that's what it was: the beginning of a story. There are some logic flaws, starting with just what age these kids are. But conceptually, the story has promise. Keep writing.
-- KK in Texas
well written
I liked your story. Interesting plot and well written. Very
smooth reading. Looking forward to the rest of the story.
Talented
I like your story. Please don't give up the writing.
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