did you...?? Look this is a decent story but I have two issue with it. I dont know if anyone will agree with me or not.
FIRST I found Roos to be fat stupid and lazy. Not in the least bit sympathetic. Ross is very angry shocked and hurt by Shelia's cheating so it MUST of occurred to him that she ONLY married him for the surgery.
so AFTER he catches her cheating he STILL keeps her on HIS health care plan... ecause Shelia asked him?
In the immortal words of John MacEnroe... you cannot be serious.
SECOND... It is clear Shelia is a whore/slut. She enjoys sex and power.
So ROSS's brillant REVENGE Plan is to fuck Shelia posing as a high ranking executive.
I dont Get it... How is fucking a slut/ whore that gets off on sex and power and giving her an orgasm REVENGE for Ross?
by
Anonymous10/16/08
What's the point to this silly story?
.
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Great
This is the best Halloween story: NO witches, goblins, spooks, or other paranormal crap. I hope you post a second part where Ross in his Santa Claus suit bursts into the motel where Bud is fucking Shelia and reveals himself to her. Maybe they could double team her.
Boyd
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Plot? Plot? Plot anywhere? Here Plot, Plot?
Is there a plot anywhere here? Anywhere? This kinda reminds me of the long version of a cartoon I saw in a Playboy once, but come to think of it, the cartoon had a better story line [starlet agrees to screw her greedy, fat, bald, old manager to get ahead but when the lights go out instead of being a fat impotent loser he keeps scewing her repeatedly all night. However, in the morning she finds out instead of the fat guy pleasing her all night, he was outside her door selling tickets]. But is there a plot HERE anywhere?
While you seem to want to express appreciation for the assistance that some editor gave the story, you should have been more guarded with your thanks. The editing is absolutely non-existant. Find a new editor, and try it again. This isn't bad for a second draft, but it's not nearly ready for prime time.
getting well fucked is hardly revenge, until she finds out who fucked her well. Looking forward to part II
by
Anonymous10/16/08
You describe a pathetic man used by a total bitch.
She is a user working her way up by fucking the higher ups. This is done in almost all industries especially school districts. Since when is revenge for a wife fucking around on you and disrespecting you fucking her? He could have stayed married to her and fucked her everyday. Getting her fired and cutting off her insurance would have been revenge!
I just wrote a story about an obese man playing Santa. His wife took advantage of him. I'm considering a part two about the rest of his life. Let me know what you think.
Thank you all for commenting, even the negative ones. Please don't knock my editor. She justs makes corrections, and makes suggestions, the story is my idea.
Thanks
DG
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Good story, but..
I liked the general tenor of the story, but the ending was weak. Oh no, a woman who will have sex at the drop of a hat with anyone to improve her position has to have sex with two people who don't improve her position. The horror! (Sarcasm) Meanwhile, the guy still pays the rest of her insurance so she can get a new body and ditch him. Sounds like a sucker to me.
I hope you do come up with a Part 2 and fix the problems with this one in the process. Maybe he should come up with a revenge that actually gets her to think and change her ways. Does she still have some good in her? Maybe her new body went to her head and she's starting to regret the way she's changed as a person and he can set her on a new path.
by
Anonymous10/16/08
funny assed story
Loved it, damn...it was too funny to be stroking material but i read it again just to have a laugh.
by
Anonymous10/16/08
You Need Part 2 Too finish it.
Good story but it has an in complete feeling because you left it the way you did. Please finish it.
by
Anonymous10/16/08
I really would like to see Chapter 2
Not your best, but still very good as what it is meant to be; a lighthearted payback story. I gave it a 100 since it deserves more than 75. I always look forward to your tales and am amazed at the tone of many of the people who comment. Instead of being grateful for individuals like yourself who give so much time and effort with no financial return, they leave their mean toned comments as if you OWED them something. Thanks for continuing to submit; you are one of the best.
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Heh,hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Leave it up to DG to make my day and the guys name was Ross too.DG do you know something I don't?
I found this story to be very funny - put a big smile on my face. When it started, I thought it might be like "Goofy" but it is completely different. I could see a movie of this one - too bad John Candy is no longer with us - he could play the male lead.
imagination and story telling skills. The story itself wasn't one of your best but a "Santa" as a character in a Halloween contest story . . . As I said, it wasn't your best but I have yet to read a DGHear story I didn't enjoy!!!!
, with a DG Hear story on the board. There has not been much posting by tried and true writers lately. Many of them seem to be turning up at SOL though. I know that Harry reads there, but does he make private comments there similar to his public comments here??
The story was well structured and reasonably original though there are a lot of stories out there with the wrong guy in the costume. Personally I consider that having a good life which he seems to have and screwing the gal that declared that she would never open up for him again is more than enough revenge and certainly there should be no conscience problems or legal problems. Thanks again, DG
Regards, Bruce22
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Good original story
This s a short story that read well. It's hard to dislike it. Question: Why didn't he also get an intestinal bypass surgery, go to the beach regularly, and begin a weight exercise based problem? He could have become one up on Shelia. Is this the end of the story? RAG
by
Anonymous10/16/08
Good original story
This s a short story that read well. It's hard to dislike it. Question: Why didn't he also get an intestinal bypass surgery, go to the beach regularly, and begin a weight exercise based problem? He could have become one up on Shelia. Is this the end of the story? RAG
by
Anonymous10/16/08
HairyinVA is still as asine as ever
He does not know a good story when he reads one, believeable since he has not written any. While there are some stories where I would like to see the cheating spouse taken out and puit live in a coffin, it is not a requirement of life to be as lousy a person as he/she is.
If most (if not all) of the gastric surgery people ate before the surgery the same way they are required to eat afterwards, the need for the surgery would basically disappear. The change in diet and limits of filling the internal cup would ensure this.
Sitting back and assisting in revenge without an open permanent action is still revenge and the better for laughing at out of sight and mind.
I read another story similar to this where the husband and his wife was at a costume party one night and the friend asked the guy if he would walk around in his suit while he took off well the wife did`nt know it was hert husband in it and he ended up having a roll in the hay with her while he was still in the costume the lights were turned down loww.so she wouldnt find out.
Nice to see a story where our hero is an average guy, living an average life. I like demonic wife stories because they are fun to read. Low key revenge is a lot better that the in-your-face type. Keep writing what you like. Thanks for the story.
by
Anonymous10/17/08
Well Harry got it right and others didnt read
and understand what they read. You dont get even with a whore that sluts around but fucking her. Yeah whore, anyone that fucks for money is a whore and she is fucking her way thru her job. The only revenge in this story is a slut leaving a worthless guy who doesnt care for himself enough to get healthy.
all the whoring words aside, the last line said it
Well Harry got it right and others didnt read
10/17/08 by Anonymous
and understand what they read. You dont get even with a whore that sluts around but fucking her. Yeah whore, anyone that fucks for money is a whore and she is fucking her way thru her job. The only revenge in this story is a slut leaving a worthless guy who doesnt care for himself enough to get healthy.
++++++++++++++
Why spend hours creating characters that few, if any, likes? As noted, the wife is obviously a loose woman and all the years of fucking around likely make her much looser, but so what! There are a lot of women, and men, who like to exchange bodily fluids with others, strangers or not, for "thrills." Nothing wrong with these birds of the same feather spreading microbes among themselves.
But HER proclivity notwithstanding, the guy in this story is a fat, unhealthy man whose sole purpose in life, it seems, is to finally fuck a slut for one last time, after many years of (her) fucking around.... And HE is grinning big time? Is THAT the picture you want us to see, dear author... that finally this good man fucked the silly bitch like who she is? LOL
Thank you,DGH.Sad,but very enjoyable.A sequel would be great.
by
Anonymous10/18/08
sucks
very boring
very slow tart to story a lot of wasted story line that added very little to the story. i was bored halfway through wonderign if it was giong to lead to any piont
way to much time spent explaining the back ground
becuse the actual sotry was the plan to fuck her one more time in the closet the whole first part leading up to it shouldve been condensed to one or 2 line at best
perhaps >> haveing never been able to get over the imagine of my exfe fucking another man. one line would replace all the boring piontless shit the crap with the parents the conversation at the desk the the whole wieght loss thing the never haveing fucked anything but prostitues all that added nothing to the story
your not writng a novel hear your rightng porn an the goal of porn is to excite an turn people on with whatver kink the might have
Quite a few of the other comments were in the same venue. What was the point or where was the revenge or where did we actually see a resolution to the story - say from the point where the wife left the husband (after abusing and humiliating him both privately and publicly)?
Having sex with a woman who pretty much sells her body as a way of improving her standing in life - is that it? Was she nearly as upset/humiliated as the husband who was clearly heart broken? The details of his “big time revenge”, namely having one time sex with the ex were not exposed; therefore no harm was done to the ex where HER values really are: more money/social climbing. Consensual or semi consensual, all the husband got was one time sex with a woman who he professes to detest.
At the end, his life is still in the dumps. And it’s not an unreasonable assumption that his bitter experience with ‘real relations’ probably plays a big part in the way his life looks when the “revenge” scene takes place. What kind of closure is that?
by
Anonymous01/14/10
And then?
Enjoyed the story. It was well written and the characters were, for the most part, believable. It left me wanting to know what happened next. So, what did happen?
A fat slob cannot help but be recognized so disguise as Santa is not believable and so story falls apart from the start.
Also a slob that doesn't care to take care of themselves and loose weight or the woman he supposedly loves isn't much of a man and couldn't carry out revenge because he doesn't care enough to do so.
So his big "Revenge" was to have unprotected sex with a slut that fucks EVERYONE? Let's see if he still enjoys his 'Revenge', when he is pissing fire, and his dick falls off.
Then he should have gotten her addicted to eating again. Tie her down and force feed her doughnuts for a month. Make the shallow bitch into the one thing she fears most; a fatty! Now THAT would have been revenge.
I don't think he could have carried her on his insurance after the divorce and definitely should have terminated it after the insults at the divorce proceding. In fact if there were witnesses, he might have gotten an anulment based on fraud
"Ross, wait, please wait." – Why do these wives who could give two shits about their husband while they go out and cheat on them, suddenly get so upset when they get caught?
“The one time I saw her at the divorce hearing she told me how pathetic I was.” – I guess she was lying when she begged him not to leave her!
"What if the new Regional Manager shows up; what the hell am I going to do?" – It doesn’t matter; HE’S not claiming to be anybody, Bud just spread a rumor.
English
You are evil, DG, just plain evil!
But on the other hand, fair is fair. I'd say offhand is everyone involved got exactly what was coming to them... in the end anyway.
Jack
Good story-- where's the REVENGE? I didnt see ANY
did you...?? Look this is a decent story but I have two issue with it. I dont know if anyone will agree with me or not.
FIRST I found Roos to be fat stupid and lazy. Not in the least bit sympathetic. Ross is very angry shocked and hurt by Shelia's cheating so it MUST of occurred to him that she ONLY married him for the surgery.
so AFTER he catches her cheating he STILL keeps her on HIS health care plan... ecause Shelia asked him?
In the immortal words of John MacEnroe... you cannot be serious.
SECOND... It is clear Shelia is a whore/slut. She enjoys sex and power.
So ROSS's brillant REVENGE Plan is to fuck Shelia posing as a high ranking executive.
I dont Get it... How is fucking a slut/ whore that gets off on sex and power and giving her an orgasm REVENGE for Ross?
What's the point to this silly story?
.
Great
This is the best Halloween story: NO witches, goblins, spooks, or other paranormal crap. I hope you post a second part where Ross in his Santa Claus suit bursts into the motel where Bud is fucking Shelia and reveals himself to her. Maybe they could double team her.
Boyd
Plot? Plot? Plot anywhere? Here Plot, Plot?
Is there a plot anywhere here? Anywhere? This kinda reminds me of the long version of a cartoon I saw in a Playboy once, but come to think of it, the cartoon had a better story line [starlet agrees to screw her greedy, fat, bald, old manager to get ahead but when the lights go out instead of being a fat impotent loser he keeps scewing her repeatedly all night. However, in the morning she finds out instead of the fat guy pleasing her all night, he was outside her door selling tickets]. But is there a plot HERE anywhere?
find a new editor
While you seem to want to express appreciation for the assistance that some editor gave the story, you should have been more guarded with your thanks. The editing is absolutely non-existant. Find a new editor, and try it again. This isn't bad for a second draft, but it's not nearly ready for prime time.
She got off too easy. . .
getting well fucked is hardly revenge, until she finds out who fucked her well. Looking forward to part II
You describe a pathetic man used by a total bitch.
She is a user working her way up by fucking the higher ups. This is done in almost all industries especially school districts. Since when is revenge for a wife fucking around on you and disrespecting you fucking her? He could have stayed married to her and fucked her everyday. Getting her fired and cutting off her insurance would have been revenge!
Good story
Good plot, believable characters and very well executed. Good luck in the contest!
Caln Down Readers. haha
I just wrote a story about an obese man playing Santa. His wife took advantage of him. I'm considering a part two about the rest of his life. Let me know what you think.
Thank you all for commenting, even the negative ones. Please don't knock my editor. She justs makes corrections, and makes suggestions, the story is my idea.
Thanks
DG
Good story, but..
I liked the general tenor of the story, but the ending was weak. Oh no, a woman who will have sex at the drop of a hat with anyone to improve her position has to have sex with two people who don't improve her position. The horror! (Sarcasm) Meanwhile, the guy still pays the rest of her insurance so she can get a new body and ditch him. Sounds like a sucker to me.
I hope you do come up with a Part 2 and fix the problems with this one in the process. Maybe he should come up with a revenge that actually gets her to think and change her ways. Does she still have some good in her? Maybe her new body went to her head and she's starting to regret the way she's changed as a person and he can set her on a new path.
funny assed story
Loved it, damn...it was too funny to be stroking material but i read it again just to have a laugh.
You Need Part 2 Too finish it.
Good story but it has an in complete feeling because you left it the way you did. Please finish it.
I really would like to see Chapter 2
Not your best, but still very good as what it is meant to be; a lighthearted payback story. I gave it a 100 since it deserves more than 75. I always look forward to your tales and am amazed at the tone of many of the people who comment. Instead of being grateful for individuals like yourself who give so much time and effort with no financial return, they leave their mean toned comments as if you OWED them something. Thanks for continuing to submit; you are one of the best.
Heh,hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Leave it up to DG to make my day and the guys name was Ross too.DG do you know something I don't?
Funny entertaining story
Would love to see a chapter 2. This user slut never learned her lesson.
I like this story
I found this story to be very funny - put a big smile on my face. When it started, I thought it might be like "Goofy" but it is completely different. I could see a movie of this one - too bad John Candy is no longer with us - he could play the male lead.
The usual suspect
Once again the ordinary pseudo ethical DG stuff.
The usual suspect
Once again the ordinary pseudo ethical DG stuff.
I never cease to be amazed at your . . .
imagination and story telling skills. The story itself wasn't one of your best but a "Santa" as a character in a Halloween contest story . . . As I said, it wasn't your best but I have yet to read a DGHear story I didn't enjoy!!!!
It is a good day today!
, with a DG Hear story on the board. There has not been much posting by tried and true writers lately. Many of them seem to be turning up at SOL though. I know that Harry reads there, but does he make private comments there similar to his public comments here??
The story was well structured and reasonably original though there are a lot of stories out there with the wrong guy in the costume. Personally I consider that having a good life which he seems to have and screwing the gal that declared that she would never open up for him again is more than enough revenge and certainly there should be no conscience problems or legal problems. Thanks again, DG
Regards, Bruce22
Good original story
This s a short story that read well. It's hard to dislike it. Question: Why didn't he also get an intestinal bypass surgery, go to the beach regularly, and begin a weight exercise based problem? He could have become one up on Shelia. Is this the end of the story? RAG
Good original story
This s a short story that read well. It's hard to dislike it. Question: Why didn't he also get an intestinal bypass surgery, go to the beach regularly, and begin a weight exercise based problem? He could have become one up on Shelia. Is this the end of the story? RAG
HairyinVA is still as asine as ever
He does not know a good story when he reads one, believeable since he has not written any. While there are some stories where I would like to see the cheating spouse taken out and puit live in a coffin, it is not a requirement of life to be as lousy a person as he/she is.
If most (if not all) of the gastric surgery people ate before the surgery the same way they are required to eat afterwards, the need for the surgery would basically disappear. The change in diet and limits of filling the internal cup would ensure this.
Sitting back and assisting in revenge without an open permanent action is still revenge and the better for laughing at out of sight and mind.
Excellent Story
As always, you write the best stories. Like I've already said once before, you were the writer who inspired me to submit my stories!!
Excellent Story
As always, you write the best stories. Like I've already said once before, you were the writer who inspired me to submit my stories on this site!!
Incredible Story
I read another story similar to this where the husband and his wife was at a costume party one night and the friend asked the guy if he would walk around in his suit while he took off well the wife did`nt know it was hert husband in it and he ended up having a roll in the hay with her while he was still in the costume the lights were turned down loww.so she wouldnt find out.
Okay Story
Not near as good as your other stories
Good Read
Nice to see a story where our hero is an average guy, living an average life. I like demonic wife stories because they are fun to read. Low key revenge is a lot better that the in-your-face type. Keep writing what you like. Thanks for the story.
Well Harry got it right and others didnt read
and understand what they read. You dont get even with a whore that sluts around but fucking her. Yeah whore, anyone that fucks for money is a whore and she is fucking her way thru her job. The only revenge in this story is a slut leaving a worthless guy who doesnt care for himself enough to get healthy.
all the whoring words aside, the last line said it
Well Harry got it right and others didnt read
10/17/08 by Anonymous
and understand what they read. You dont get even with a whore that sluts around but fucking her. Yeah whore, anyone that fucks for money is a whore and she is fucking her way thru her job. The only revenge in this story is a slut leaving a worthless guy who doesnt care for himself enough to get healthy.
++++++++++++++
Why spend hours creating characters that few, if any, likes? As noted, the wife is obviously a loose woman and all the years of fucking around likely make her much looser, but so what! There are a lot of women, and men, who like to exchange bodily fluids with others, strangers or not, for "thrills." Nothing wrong with these birds of the same feather spreading microbes among themselves.
But HER proclivity notwithstanding, the guy in this story is a fat, unhealthy man whose sole purpose in life, it seems, is to finally fuck a slut for one last time, after many years of (her) fucking around.... And HE is grinning big time? Is THAT the picture you want us to see, dear author... that finally this good man fucked the silly bitch like who she is? LOL
Another good story
Thank you,DGH.Sad,but very enjoyable.A sequel would be great.
sucks
very boring
very slow tart to story a lot of wasted story line that added very little to the story. i was bored halfway through wonderign if it was giong to lead to any piont
way to much time spent explaining the back ground
becuse the actual sotry was the plan to fuck her one more time in the closet the whole first part leading up to it shouldve been condensed to one or 2 line at best
perhaps >> haveing never been able to get over the imagine of my exfe fucking another man. one line would replace all the boring piontless shit the crap with the parents the conversation at the desk the the whole wieght loss thing the never haveing fucked anything but prostitues all that added nothing to the story
your not writng a novel hear your rightng porn an the goal of porn is to excite an turn people on with whatver kink the might have
Good story!
Well written as always and full of imagination. You're very brave entering the contest from this category. Best of luck to you.
I don’t get where you were going with this story
Quite a few of the other comments were in the same venue. What was the point or where was the revenge or where did we actually see a resolution to the story - say from the point where the wife left the husband (after abusing and humiliating him both privately and publicly)?
Having sex with a woman who pretty much sells her body as a way of improving her standing in life - is that it? Was she nearly as upset/humiliated as the husband who was clearly heart broken? The details of his “big time revenge”, namely having one time sex with the ex were not exposed; therefore no harm was done to the ex where HER values really are: more money/social climbing. Consensual or semi consensual, all the husband got was one time sex with a woman who he professes to detest.
At the end, his life is still in the dumps. And it’s not an unreasonable assumption that his bitter experience with ‘real relations’ probably plays a big part in the way his life looks when the “revenge” scene takes place. What kind of closure is that?
And then?
Enjoyed the story. It was well written and the characters were, for the most part, believable. It left me wanting to know what happened next. So, what did happen?
Not believable:
A fat slob cannot help but be recognized so disguise as Santa is not believable and so story falls apart from the start.
Also a slob that doesn't care to take care of themselves and loose weight or the woman he supposedly loves isn't much of a man and couldn't carry out revenge because he doesn't care enough to do so.
Karma is a BITCH -
Just like her - LOL
C'mon Santa
Tell us how she took it and were there any repercusions for her.
Yes, DG.
Let us read it, thank you.
Where was his "Revenge"?
So his big "Revenge" was to have unprotected sex with a slut that fucks EVERYONE? Let's see if he still enjoys his 'Revenge', when he is pissing fire, and his dick falls off.
If he wanted to get some Real revenge
Then he should have gotten her addicted to eating again. Tie her down and force feed her doughnuts for a month. Make the shallow bitch into the one thing she fears most; a fatty! Now THAT would have been revenge.
Enjoyed it
Thanks for the offering.
divorce
I don't think he could have carried her on his insurance after the divorce and definitely should have terminated it after the insults at the divorce proceding. In fact if there were witnesses, he might have gotten an anulment based on fraud
Thoughts
"Ross, wait, please wait." – Why do these wives who could give two shits about their husband while they go out and cheat on them, suddenly get so upset when they get caught?
“The one time I saw her at the divorce hearing she told me how pathetic I was.” – I guess she was lying when she begged him not to leave her!
"What if the new Regional Manager shows up; what the hell am I going to do?" – It doesn’t matter; HE’S not claiming to be anybody, Bud just spread a rumor.
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