Dorm Room Reversal

Great start!

Excellent start. Nice to see someone who takes advantage of a friend as soon as he gets some power getting what he deserves. Looking forward to more of this.

pretty simply written

the plot had more potential and for a nerd with brains he acted more than stupid, well maybe we have to discuss what is intelligent ? but I don't think somebody with an IQ of a bra size or a dick length is intelligent, but maybe it is so where you come from.

to be continued?

Please don't bother. The basic idea wasn't too bad; rather cute, really. But the writing! A "loaner" is, for example, something a car dealership would provide to a customer who has their car in the dealership's shop. And "wear" has to do with clothing, but nothing to do with describing location. And there were other problems. Besides, it is unclear where you could take the story, logically. Sorry. -- KK in Texas

Can't wait

I am really looking forward to the next chapter...keep up the good story telling

Not bad...

Maybe KK in Texas could leave the links to his stories to show us all what great literature should be? I liked it, it was fun and definitely worth pursuing.

With a friend like you who needs enemies.

You're so awesome. You defend the one person who defended your sorry ass. No wonder you were picked on, the only thing is...they had a good reason too you selfish prick. You would seriously ruin the one person's life who was your friend. That is so fucked up! You are an asshole.

Ho hum

SOL has a large number of Master PC stories, many better than this.

JRParz Created Master PC

JRParz created the Master PC genre of stories. He allows others to write in his universe, but would like to be informed. Here is his site: http://www.asstr.org/~JR_Parz/

There are a lot of Master PC stories by a variety of authors at the Erotic Mind Control Stories Archive (www.mcstories.com). You might want to look at some of them for ideas of how to proceed. This story needs a major reqrite.

Looking forward to reading more of this.

Be careful . . .

. . . what you wish for!