An Alpha's Love

YEs

Yes Continue the story!!! I liked it.

Please

Please finish

well!

I would love to see more soon!

I like iit so far!

Off to a good start, keep it coming!

Good intro

I liked how you are building your character and not rushing into anything, but including the children and how the daughter is suspicious seemed a little odd. However, I think you should continue with this and see where is takes you

you better continue it..

it would be horrible if you just let this story drop ...you have a wonderful intro to what could be a wonderful story don't stop now keep going and finish it take a few or ten more chapters if they all are as good as this beginning then it will be a wonderful story ..looking forward to it..

A little uneven

This is good and has potential, but I found it a little awkward, or uneven, or something. The dialog is a bit stilted, but I also know that dialog is probably the hardest bit to write. It is a bit rushed, and some background on what appears to be a strained relationship between Illena and her brother would be helpful. And as someone noted, the kids' behavior makes you wonder what's going on. I think if you can provide a little more background, a little more exposition, and slow things down a bit, you've got the makings of something good here.

Hmmm...

I think it's a good start. But a couple of things: 1) I thought it was weird that Illena would tell the children the story of her parents attack in its entirety. I dunno, it just seemed a bit much. I was thinking at first she would just describe it as an "accident" until her brother (their father) felt comfortable enough to get into that kind of thing. I mean their dad didn't even mention he had a sister and it just seemed odd that out of nowhere she would share that much.




2) The dialouge seems kind of stilted. Like when she first talks to her brother and he says something like, "Well sister, I couldn't let you starve..." or when Illena is rescued by the wolf and she thinks, "Whatever shall I say to him..." - You know, those kinds of things. It just doesn't seem to be the natural way in which people talk.




But anyway, definitely finish. I love LOVE a gold werewolf story. Thanks for sharing, and I hope what I said is seen as constructive criticism. I'd never want to be the reason someone was discouraged. :-)

HELL YEAH!

This was deffiantly a good story. Please. You must continue with this. I am very curious about our two main characters here.

Good start

but I'm in agreement with a few of the others regarding dialogue and the children. Also later Evan bowed and she curtsied. I'm a bit confused as to what time period this is taking place in.But all in all, I think you should continue this story keeping those things in mind.

Here goes...

I try not to be negative when leaving comments as I realize that it takes great courage to put your work out there for people to judge but, I have to say that I am not overly fond of this story thus far and hope to see you pull the story together in the next chapter as it does show some promise even though it was bland. P.S.(Who in their right mind would tell children about the double murder of their grandparents and the attempted rape and assault of their aunt?)

Continue please

You should continue this, were stories are popular and most commentors seem to want to know what happens next for your characters. Yes you need to take on board the constructive comments about your use of dialog. I thought it would have worked better if your main character had experienced the attack rather than telling the children, either as a memory or in your opening. I have looked at your Bio and you have been reading some of the better authors judging by your favourites. Keep reading, writing and improving. Good luck. - UK CYNIC.

continue

I like this story please continue it

NICE INTRO

please do continue would love to see where you go with this line. Nice Intro.

100% more!

I love it! I have to know what happens next!

Yes, please continue!

Please, continue the story. It's started out pretty well, and I enjoyed it.

That was so mean!!

You can't just stop the story there you definitely have to continue it. To much was left unsaid.

Please!!!

You are such a tease!! Leaving us hanging like that...
T_T

great star!

finish it please

Great Start!

Write more!!!

Write more NOW PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!

Write MORE PLZ!!!!! GREAT start to a potentailly GREAT story!! Keep it up!!!!

pllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

continue i absoulutly luved it

more please!!

i like it! i want to see why Evan needed to get back to his pack; to see what/if the sheriff would do to Illena, after staring at her so much; to see what will happen the next Evan and Illena see each other again.... etc. i cant wait to see what you'll write next.

Oh yes, more please!!

I can't wait to see what happens next!!

more PLEASE

i cant wait to find out wat happeneds!!

like itt

hehe
i like the story..

and please don't make it too easy or too smooth..

better make it more thrilling.. :)

Please continue :D

fantastic!=)

This story was absolutly fantastic! I hope that you continue with this serie, because i would love to read more=)/ Carrie from Sweden

Very much so please continue to write on this story

please please please

Please continue this is AWSOME so far!

More!!

Please write more! This looks like it will be great to read! I love it already.

keep going...

please keep the story going!

Please Continue...

Such an interesting start needs an ending :)

Wow,!

Wow could your heroine be anymore pathetic !!! For the love of heaven no more!

has potential.. too bad the author never finished the story

Alpha's love

This story has potential. What you've done so far is a bit abrupt. It needs reworking. But I'd like to see what develops between Evan and Illena.
Please continue.

continue

you realy should have carried on with the story...trs