Nursing The Enemy Ch. 03

?

What a waste!

Sorry but was this a story?

I am still confused. Does the wife love or respect the husband? no. Does she want to stay married? I don't think so. They don't have a marriage. She might as well just go off with Paul. You are better than this story. Your previous stories are strange but have a certain logic to them. This one doesn't. Apart from the fact it could come from Eastenders or some other soap opera. The next set of stories you write please ask for some help. As i said you are better than this.

Was and is

A whore, threw away the man who loved her anyway, as someone said, what a waste of time and talent.

Very well done

Great story. Confusion, lies and internal conflict. Reminds me of real life.

Confusion

You spend time in this chapter explaining Dave's plan to get even. A stupid plan, one that shows that Dave does not respect his wife. Then at the very end of the story you introduce a new plot theme with no explanation. Why?
(When we got back home Dave went to the supermarket. I answered the door, and there he stood smiling at me. He handed me a note and left.

"Look do you mind if I go and see mum for a few days?" I asked with a gulp.

"No I've got to get to back to work anyway." he replied.

I slipped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Then I put my head over his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't see the tears.

"I don't know when I'll get back, oh and can you leave me your bank card? I'll need some money.") You are to inconsistent. It is almost like every paragraph is the after thought of another idea. Disappointing.

Thanks...

for clearing some points but I was lost again at the end.

Foolish, Stupid and you are a dipshit

crap -brainless crap

so she is leaving but apparently is a bit upset?

Confusing to the end and beyond.

Skip the trick paid on Paul.

This guy broke off his marriage to run off with his potential brother in laws wife. He is engaged and putting a full court press on a married woman. He has a history of conquesst, married and nott. What woman in her right mind, knowing anything about him would even consider dating him much less developing any type of relationship with him? I guess the story is true, women in lust dont think with their minds or hearts, they think with their hormones and need to be fucked to have babies! I did not care for the character of any of the participants except perhaps Gina. She seemed to be the only one with any inkling of intelligence. But then again garage workers and owners, what is the intellectual level to begin with?

i missed something

ok partially my fault since i read the last chapter on. paul is strung along with the false sense of victory over dave. paul is left behind and they go italy? her past? THEn the person comes to the door, "He", who is he? paul.
dave has the illusion of victory and paul really won her? it seems that dave should be the one leaving, with the sense something better is before him. and her, so it goes.

Good story

but it could have been a lot better with some sympathetic editing. Even a simple device, such as a row of **** when time shifts occur, would have made it easier to read. Also, towards the end it became rather obvious where it was going. The tempo should have been picked up at this point and irrelevancies, such as prior prostitution, omitted.
Still a good story - I wish I had your imagination.

Just scanned the last chapter and confused. Paul is tricked and she and Dave go on a trip...then she just goes off with Paul? Hopefully she did, because he's better off and happier without her. Clarity, in oh so many ways.

what a screwball story

what a waste of time.

Double that

Worse than waste of time