I don't know -- technically there's nothing wrong with this story. It's structurely sound; the writing is solid. It's just not very believable. I understand this is a fiction site, but still, there needs to be a suspension of disbelief...
read well, but now my balls are hurting. guess i'll put my special order "bailey's Red Dawg loggers boots," with the built in hoof holders, on and play push the goat off the roof.
by
Anonymous11/06/08
Willing suspension of disbelief
I agree that it seems very unrealistic. However, the phrase is actually a "willing suspension of disbelief". The reader must willingly overlook the far-fetched aspects of the story to fully enjoy it. Barring the potential reality of the situation, the story seemed rushed, the characters flat and as a female reader I did not find the story erotic. --Shewolf--
by
Anonymous11/06/08
Resistance?
It's a very strong story. I do have one thought about it...maybe if he resists her a bit toward the end, rather than simply going along, it will shift the power a bit toward her, because she did plan this whole thing. He could very well fight being trapped, and still end up being so excited to be with her that he's glad she trapped him.
English
Just feels unrealistic...
I don't know -- technically there's nothing wrong with this story. It's structurely sound; the writing is solid. It's just not very believable. I understand this is a fiction site, but still, there needs to be a suspension of disbelief...
"pounce" to "pounced"
read well, but now my balls are hurting. guess i'll put my special order "bailey's Red Dawg loggers boots," with the built in hoof holders, on and play push the goat off the roof.
Willing suspension of disbelief
I agree that it seems very unrealistic. However, the phrase is actually a "willing suspension of disbelief". The reader must willingly overlook the far-fetched aspects of the story to fully enjoy it. Barring the potential reality of the situation, the story seemed rushed, the characters flat and as a female reader I did not find the story erotic. --Shewolf--
Resistance?
It's a very strong story. I do have one thought about it...maybe if he resists her a bit toward the end, rather than simply going along, it will shift the power a bit toward her, because she did plan this whole thing. He could very well fight being trapped, and still end up being so excited to be with her that he's glad she trapped him.
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