by live4passion
i enjoyed this poem as i have several of your others. My one reservation: amidst all these fantastic images and references, things like 'ur' and a lack of apostrophes to denote possessive in 'others' and 'hes' bother me... Regardless, you write well & i hope to read more.
I realize that by using "ur" you're keeping the poem casual, but you do have a hyphenated word. So I'd go ahead and also use "he's" or go with "he is." Other than that... interesting poem.
I loved it. So many things going on here that I can barely get my head round it all! I mean that in a good way, of course. I like action. :)