All Comments on 'Wife Tammy Ch. 01'

by Loansum

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  • 14 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
He made her a good slut

yes, that was a good hot story. I was stroking as I read it. Don't be too long before next session

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Don't listen to the negative comments

This was a fine beginning to a very hot story. Let your characters lead you where others fear to go.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
next chapter

the story plot is that of a wife giving in to domination, and as such it is fine. continue in same direction, making the wife even more submissive surrendering herself to more degrading acts as time goes on, eventually getting marked as his slut

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichover 15 years ago
First timers sure have to take a lot of shit

I think the author has done well for a first time post. I think the story was at a good pace, and the sex action was described well enough. I would like to have the wife to feel more like a cheating slut after he was finished, and ask for some more....Rich

bigbadwolf098bigbadwolf098over 13 years ago
Great Story

Wonderful, seducing, exciting, got me hard and kept me hard! Don't stop writing about taking conservative women!

jimbo12jimbo12about 12 years ago
Looking foward to part two

Very well written. Love the turn around for her .

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Boring

I did not find much tension or realism coming from the wife. Your story reads like a male fantasy and has no realism or depth. Keep trying you can only get better.

starovastarovaover 9 years ago
Distracted

This story would improve with editing. The narrative changed from 3rd person to 1st person and back again, and the inconsistency was distracting.

I thought Tammy succumbed to the poolman far too easily. Her corruption could have been under more protest. Her transformation from 'Don't touch me' to 'Fuck me', would have been more realistic if she had held out for much longer.

Calling a woman 'Slut' the first time they meet is a major turn-off, but seems to be common in erotica. To me, as I read it, such dialog strips the story of it's realism.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Good Potential but poor grammer

I agree with a previous comment that the grammer and "writing style" takes away from the story. A bit too aggressive for me but easy to overlook.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
The Language & grammatical errors detract from story

I enjoy the story but no need for profanity or the lack of proof reading. Maybe others chapters better

UAlbanyGirl518UAlbanyGirl518almost 3 years ago

Good story albeit a little short. I liked the way she slowly gave in to him and allowed herself to enjoy it. I noticed a few “my” and “your” peppered into the third-person narrative. Still gave it 5 stars though.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

okay overall, but switching between first and third person was confusing; is she telling the story or is it someone else?

Wendywants2BtakenWendywants2Btakenover 1 year ago

I’m a dirty slut will someone fuck my ass please?💋💋💋

BunnymasterBunnymaster10 months ago

Shifting from 3rd to first person is a jarring distraction and put the kibosh on a willing suspension of disbelief - which is the essential key to fiction writing.

Slow down and do some self editing.

Anonymous
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