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not bad but
Not bad but you switched from 3rd person to 1st halfway through, and it was confusing. Maybe get an editor to read through next story before posting.
Uh...
The story was alright, but it switched POV's during it, and it made it pretty hard to read.
AS A BEATER STORY IT FULFILLS ITS TASK
coupled with wishes, its similar sans the middle cream filler. TK U MLJ LV NV
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