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A New Sensation

bymojobwoikin©
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by Anonymous

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by Tman7711/25/08

not bad but

Not bad but you switched from 3rd person to 1st halfway through, and it was confusing. Maybe get an editor to read through next story before posting.

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by Anonymous04/28/09

Uh...

The story was alright, but it switched POV's during it, and it made it pretty hard to read.

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by tazz31701/24/12

AS A BEATER STORY IT FULFILLS ITS TASK

coupled with wishes, its similar sans the middle cream filler. TK U MLJ LV NV

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