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English
Good
TheCelt,
As usual you weave a fine tale. I do enjoy your stories as they tend to have depth to them. I know you are going to hear from the usual cast of characters that put down your story, but take it from me. You do an excellent job
Soooo far.................
The only things I've missed was Jesse falling in love with another woman and him taking martial arts lessons to get revenge on Drake, the rest seems to be right on track. But the ending could still surprise me. (^_^)
-Risq
Good story as always Celt.
Good to no writers like your self are still out there writing stories like this. Yes you will get people who don't like this story. But hey it's your story.
This probably happens everyday...
And while i am glad that he decided to take some self defense lessons, you'd be amazed at what can be accomplished with a simple baseball bat. The only thing that really irritates me is the bullshit that Jake tries to spew out. As a man he has to know that everything he's saying is crap so why bother saying it at all? Great writing as always and the author leaves himself with many different possible outcomes, my only hope is that Jesse is smart enough to realize that she just isn't worth and kind of reconciliation.
Loved it
Cant wait to read the final chapter. Post it soon please. Did think it a little bit odd that he would not file charges and just leave town.
Excellent...
Great story! Can't wait to see how it ends. Thanks...
Great writing as usual but skip the reconciliation
Risq was pretty much "right on" so far. Is the story realistic[?] - not really but it is delightfully entertaining. Please do not ruin it with another; "reconciliation at any cost" type of ending. As someone else commented, the best ending would be where this former slut wife kills herself and the child ends up with him.
Getting better
As always you deliver. I thought he should have mentioned to the police about the assault two years ago. After all there were witnesses and he could have gotten some justice. This statement is to the point. "I know how you saw it and you have to understand that you were only partly correct. She did go out without you and she did end up in that bar with Drake, but most of that was just bravado. She said she had no intention of staying with him and when you showed up, she was ready to make you grovel, but Drake took it out of her control." First Drake did not take it out of her control, things happen exactly as she knew they would. Her intention was to make her husband grovel in front of her co-workers? Divorce this slut and try to get custody. Not for revenge purposes but because any person with this attitude will not be a good role model for your child. And what about Shawn? He loves her, she has never done anything to harm him intentionally. Get Polly marry Shawn and forget your slut wife. She can have Drake, they are meant for each other.
A great story!
Thank you ,Celt,for another fine story.Somehow I hope they can get back together.
Good story.
But, please don't leave the readers hanging and waiting for a resolution. I like the character development and the progression in the storyline. What I don't want to see is Shawn becoming an innocent victim in the process. On the other hand, there's Polly, who is already an innocent victim. I suppose it all hinges upon Heather's underlying motivations, both then and now.
-- KK in Texas
Steady as she goes!
Ok, we have the first two chapters and as usual theCelt is writing a very good story. But we still don't know what kind of person Heather is. In this chapter, according to Jake, the family friend, drugs and booze weren't a factor that helped coerce Heather. She wanted to make Jesse beg and plead to have her come home. She wanted to humiliate him. Regardless of her frame of mind, she set her husband up to get beaten to a pulp and she was smiling at him while it happened. Having your husband beaten up just because he doesn’t enjoy “partying” with you while you are playing grab ass with your former and maybe current lover is plenty enough to end this sad marriage once and for all. All Jesse needs to do is take steps to protect his rights with his daughter and be a part of her life. He needs to be sure though that he is the real father. I know that I am cynical, but the evidence indicates that Heather may have made a habit of sneaking away to be with old Drake. She did it at least on a couple of occasions, once before and then once during the marriage. With both of those encounters, there was a period of time, overnight and well in to the next day, that she has not explained. It would seem that she felt that she could spend the night partying and sexing it up with Drake and then come home and use her body to convince Jesse not to kick her betraying ass out. Hell, it worked when she did it to convince the simpleton to marry her in the first place didn't it? So it looks as though Heather assumed that Jesse would still be there when she was ready to come home the night after she set him up to get beaten by her lover and his thugs. Again, don’t forget that Jesse’s loving wife was smiling at him when he lost consciousness during the beating. I can’t see an explanation that would get Heather out of this hole that she has dug herself into. She could say that she traded sex with Drake to save Jesse’s life, I suppose. But even that is a two way street. She could have seen it as an opportunity to betray her marriage and justify it to herself and everyone else by saying that she was only doing it to save Jesse’s life. Whatever it was, she made her choices and she should have to live with the "Consequences" right? Not so fast …! TheCelt is the best writer on this site in my opinion for a lot of reasons. One is that he writes the best “husband and wife confrontation scenes” into his stories. He is better at it than any of any of the other authors. I have no doubt that the “confrontation scene” he has written in his next chapter for Jesse and Heather will be great! And I look forward to reading it to see what surprises theCelt has in store for us.
Very good ambiguous setup
But whatever she says is going to hard to swallow after that smile. He, in my honest opinion, did not do anything that required public groveling on his part much less required to be beating him up. If she really had something to say she would have gone immediately to the Motel 6, unless of course, it was just another light and mirror show.... in which case it would too dangerous to pass to the Avenger..
By the way he seems to have learned an awful lot about the martial arts in a very short time..Thanks for the wonderful story... I am against reconciliation here, but it is your creation..
A R R G G H H H H H H H !
Original premise for story is good, your way of writing it is BAD, rotten in fact cause you project your fem feelings onto the lead male character. Not factual, not real and not reality for any ream MAN - and a MAN is not a macho man nor a chauvenist nor any combination of the two.
an exciting continuation
Great continuation. The separated husband and wife both still love each other. They can still have their dream; hopefully Celt is thinking this way? RAG
Drake got kicked in 1st part
What happened to Drake when he connected with his feet in the 1st bar meeting. My thought is that he ended up in the hospital and they forced Heather to go, threatening her that he'd be charged for assult or attemped murder...(yeah, I know) So Drake never did get it with her, even though she may have planned on the humiliation. Once she realized how much he'd fight for her, it was too late and again, realization that she'd fucked up.
As for the money he always sent, it just confirmed that he was really a great, honest, moral and hard working guy that was worth his weight in gold...and she'd practically given him away.
It's nice to see he's almost gotten another relationship in his new home, but of coarse 'thecelt' could do anything with that storyline. I like to see some forgiveness, especially with a child involved.
As for fantasy, Drakes daddy sees what a shit Drake is, disowns him and does all he can for these two. Drake ends up impotent, along with the other guy and in the end is a simpleton washing cars for the contruction co.
What the hell? I can wish?!
Better!
Great to see he got out of that trailer trash mode and also decided to grow a pair.
What's going to be funny is if the car isn't for Heather but another abandoned wife with a kid. I wonder if we met any in this story so far :-)
I'd say more, but I'll wait 'till the conclusion.
Write Well
I really enjoy your stories, glad he quit running away. Will be waiting for the rest, thanks.
Why do I keep on reading a story I hate?
This is so much worse than most of thecelt's stories. How can he believe he gives a shit about his daughter? Two years without any contact!
What the fuck, 5 stars*****
I've read a lot of your stories. This one is the best. Small towns are all like that, and you have got to fight for your place. It should not be this way but it is. Don't fuck this one up.
Loving it
You have me on the edge of my seat. Five stars.
Thoughts
“She told Janie she was going to find you and make Drake let you go.” – But he wasn’t there, why did she go back inside if she wanted to find him?
Nothing that Jake said explains why she smiled while Drake and his guys beat the crap out of him, and this after she ran to Drake when HE got decked!
And the bottom line is that it all never would have happened if she simply agreed to got to the river with him to watch the fireworks instead of going with her crowd.
Second time through...
No, this is your best work! Still awesome.
Compelling
I despise Heather for the disgusting bitch she is but this story is electrifying!
Great read!
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