Aphrodisia Ch. 01

Very Hot

Great story but I think you should bring the bartender lady back into the story. Could be very interesting considering she has that "Sex juice".

Please, more...

I'd like to see the other chapters. However, just a little side note: there were some errors in the writing, mainly misspelled words, homonyms, etc., nothing that a little editing can't fix. All in all, a good story and a good read.

people are hungry for good stories and writers

give us more of your stories and the story was good.

Good for a First Attempt

A few problems with grammar. Also, are the tutor's eyes green or blue?

When he finds the vial, a sentence explaining why he doesn't report it might be helpful. Something like this:

He stumbled in the trench, knocking down several clods of dirt. Then he saw the vial. Clearly, it can't be placed in situ because he disturbed the site. Also it is clearly not Roman, and his professor has long disappeared, so he pockets the vial intending to report it later.

I would like to see the story continued. You haven't explained the vial or the role of the barmaid.

Keep writing, please.

Hats off

Impressive debut. A Nice balance of the here and now and the future.

Great start

Great start to an exciting story. I hope you keep it up. I love that there seems to be a future to this story. Nice way to leave us wanting more.

Wow

....Wow, out of all the erotica i have read on this website (a fare share of stories) this one is the best. Fucking great. Its descriptive enough to embed sentances in your head and makes you laugh nearly every paragraugh. Only suggestion,How about some black haired beuties? (not that big of a Blonde fan)

whoa O.O

HOLY CRAP!! the begining was a little slow, but the ending was unbelievable!! Man, now i wish a god.goddess would do that for me :)

however, i don't think this is mind control. i mean, he didn't control her thoughts, he just went along for the ride.

I really enjoyed it --

thanks for such a nice evening.

Damn. Good Job.

Like a Spider-Man except a Sex God transition. Awesome.

Don't they generally drink their beer warm in England? Just a minor detail that took me out of the story.

Beer

No, we drink it room temperature if it's a bitter or ale or chilled if it's a lager.

THIS STORY IS AWSOME!!!!!!

A Little Piece Of Advice...

Never tell an Englishman how to drink his beer!

Hot! A very hot story!
I can't wait to read more about Jamie's sexual adventures, and about what was in that vial.

You have amazing detail and this story is so well written!

Great beggining to an epic story!

Like with "The Missing Dragon" I read this story before as Anonymous.
But seeing as I'm not paying you to write, I might as well leave you some feedback. (even though I'm not certain if you will read it.)

Anyway, I already like the story from the start as I can identify with Jamie over wanting to become a archaeologist after seeing Raiders.
You also set the scene very well, and immediatley manage to make me curious about the glass vial. And you add to that curiousity by making Jamie pass out.

But back to more interesting things.
I love your description of Allison, the way you described her was as amazing as always and the way she behaved was fun too.
(Plus, their Indiana Jones reffrences made me chuckle.)
As for the glass vial and Jamie's reasoning to give it to Allison? I can't really say that I blame him, especially not afer you described the manner in which
she was moving on Jamie's lap! (And of course I loved the reffrence to Back to the Future with Jamie uttering "Where I'm going I don't need pants!" (at least I think it was a BttF reffrence.))

And back to the plot, I admit the first time I read it this story and it was Sonya that entered the room, not Allison, I had an "Oh fuck..." moment.
So yeah, you did a very good job at surprising new readers, or readers that haven't read the story in a while.
But luckily for Jamie, it isn't all bad as you give us a first look at his powers.
(not to mention Sonya's body and her dirty side.)
Again your description of the female body really helps feed the imagination! And what follows after that is even better.

Sonya's dirty talk is fap-erm-fantastic, and Jamie's transformation was quite surprising.
But the descriptions of how Sonya gets more and more hot and bothered as Jamie continues to kiss her, and eventually starts to fuck her is even better.
And as the sex intensifies, the dialogue gets more lustful.
(yet you still manage to put in a little humour here and there.)
Though the best thing about the whole sex scene, has to be Jamie's orgasm and how it triggers those of Sonya. As well as the dialogue that follows it.

I'll also read the other chapters again, when I find the time. (As well as the Defiled Temple.)

I'd also like to add that I'm very jealous of your writing abilities, and even though it was your first attempt at writing for an audience I still think it is one of the better stories on Literotica!
So...Got any tips? (And please keep it simple for this poor, poor Dutchman. :P)

Really Good!

Genuinely fun and interesting story!

Great writing

That was great. Thanks for writing.

Bad English

A moderately interesting tale ruined by bad English.

wow

excellent!!!!!

Thank you, I enjoyed it very much, please continue with other stories!

Very nice!

A really promising start.

Very good first start.

Not bad for a first story.

I don't care what people say!!!!!!

I have read this story many many times and I love it. As to the series, it's unfinished. I'd like more of it. But I don't see that will ever happen. I can wish and hope that will happen. As to your writings, they're okay.

Please!

Call me Mr Picky, but please don't write about archeologists [or other things you don't know about]. It's like you started writing about a NASCAR race where the driver had to stop to adjust the chain drive to the rear wheels, or hit his head when the starting crank broke. The kind of archeology you describe was used when the were excavating Troy [the first time].

Great

Just Fuckin' Great !

Good read.

I have saved a copy and will read it again. and the series goes to #08 I will have to read them all

Really Good

I really like this story I wish you would continue it.