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English
Good story line...
could have been so much better if you had an editor or took time to proofread before submitting!
Spellcheck please
Would have gotten a 5 star rating. Please please spellcheck next time. Yes, I would like more.
I agree
This was a great idea and a very good story line, but you desperately need someone to edit for you. Please keep on writing.
Terrible writing
Sorry but the writing was terrible. The words the characters used in conversation were not natural and the grammar was awful. The flow of the story was really choppy because of this and so painful to read that I couldn't finish it. You desperately need an editor. The story line has been used many times before, but with an editor you might end up with a good story.
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