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English
Disappointing ...
... that you have abandoned this story before the action really heats up. There definitely was a lot of potential here, but now this is just another unfinished fragment.
You Stopped?
This story was another example of your wonderful writing ability, composition and story telling. I cannot understand why you stopped with Chapter 4? You had the:1. Mystery - The Money. 2. The Steamy Love Interest. 3. Devon to make the love triangle. 4. The upcoming conflict with the resoultion of the theft! Who could have asked for anything more? I realize that you stopped writing this story on December 9, 2008 but I believe it would give you(and me)a great opportunity to find out where your mind would weave the threads of this work to a conclusion worthy of your gifted talents.
Bob43
verybriefly99@bellsouth.net
Unsatisfactory
Utter chauvinistic drivel. Simple premise. Tried to emulate soap opera's dramatic and cliff-hanging chapter endings, but failed miserably. Zero erotica.
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