All Comments on 'A Failure to Communicate'

MP,

Very good thoughts.

Matt

Great story. You've touched on a lot of good points that should help a lot of people, especially the point about a therapist. Thanks.

Happy New Year.

Sensible, grown-up, well-written. It sounds simple but it's not, doing this stuff, thinking about it, keeping an awareness of what your partner might be saying--or not: it all takes work & trust. I'm a dyke but think this article was totally on the mark regardless of gender or preference. Off to look up more of your work, nicely done! Thank you.

Great article, made sense, so true.

Very well said, Magica, and you're right, it's not always easy to have these types of discussions. What my partner and I found really helped was a set of sex question cards that we bought online. The questions ranged from tame (what is your sexiest body part) to more explicit (do you have any fantasies or experience with anal sex?) We would draw random cards and both answer them while driving on the way to a weekend getaway. The fact that we weren't the ones coming up with the questions (so no accusations or guilt about bringing up odd topics), and that we weren't actually looking at each other (because one of us was watching the road!) helped us be open and honest.

I once wrote a How To piece here on Lit called "You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks", which compliments your piece, and expands upon what I've written above.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Forthright and very well written. Full of advice I wish someone had given me twenty years ago!