The scenario is interesting, but try to find an editor for the next chapters. Much too short. Some technical errors detracted from the flow. BF/WM stories are much more rare, so I'm looking forward to more from you. Keep writing.
by
Anonymous01/11/09
Good beginning
Loved this! Like everyone else said, I'd like longer chapters but this is very promising!
by
Anonymous01/12/09
OOPs
there was a typo with the word shudder it should have been shutter.but all in all i loved the beginning of this story and i hope you write more because i will be waiting. please hurry!!!
I really like how this started. i'm going on to chapter 2. hope it's as good as this one.
by
Anonymous05/13/11
whats with the names?
whats with the names? Anthiny and Bianca? maybe it was silly of me to assume this was a story about italians, maybe it wasnt. but it was kind of annoying. granted there not exclusively italian names but, puttting them together, on would assume.. im not goin to right a story about some random guy named Vlad and his lover natasha and have neither of them be russian. just saying.
lol WTH?? soo?? does it REALLY matter what their names are? I mean do you like expect them to change names?
PS: At least spell correctly if you're going to criticize
The characters look and feel
interesting regardless of the names.
Who really cares? Just enjoy the story and own your criticism.
People who hide lose credibility..we are entitled to our opinions. I mean this is still America, right?
English
Short but sweet
nice begining. I would have loved the chapter to be longer your writing feels really engaging.
I'm gonna give you a five-star rating...
because you've intrigued me. But I hope for a MUCH longer chapter the next round, though. You have good style. I like it(:
more!
good start, can;t wait for more:)
well
looks like we've got the beginnings of a great story. the next chapter had better not be as short though.
nice
wonderful beginning looking forward to chap 2
Potential is there
The scenario is interesting, but try to find an editor for the next chapters. Much too short. Some technical errors detracted from the flow. BF/WM stories are much more rare, so I'm looking forward to more from you. Keep writing.
Good beginning
Loved this! Like everyone else said, I'd like longer chapters but this is very promising!
OOPs
there was a typo with the word shudder it should have been shutter.but all in all i loved the beginning of this story and i hope you write more because i will be waiting. please hurry!!!
Nice
Needs editing, but good start.
very nice
I really like how this started. i'm going on to chapter 2. hope it's as good as this one.
whats with the names?
whats with the names? Anthiny and Bianca? maybe it was silly of me to assume this was a story about italians, maybe it wasnt. but it was kind of annoying. granted there not exclusively italian names but, puttting them together, on would assume.. im not goin to right a story about some random guy named Vlad and his lover natasha and have neither of them be russian. just saying.
anonymous
lol WTH?? soo?? does it REALLY matter what their names are? I mean do you like expect them to change names?
PS: At least spell correctly if you're going to criticize
Sasha's funny and I agree....
The characters look and feel
interesting regardless of the names.
Who really cares? Just enjoy the story and own your criticism.
People who hide lose credibility..we are entitled to our opinions. I mean this is still America, right?
I'm not the biggest fan of Bianca's character (insecure fat girl is overdone) but you're a really good writer
;l
this "I think I've fallen in love." is happening toooo damn fast
Lol what is he, a high school girl. Slow down guy
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