It needs serious help in basic grammer. In nearly every paragraph there is at least one instance of the construct word -- word, these can easily be removed using either a comma or just left out completely, no harm to the story will result and readers get a cleaner better story.
by
Anonymous01/17/09
hot!!!!
I think it is brilliant. The story is as hot as the beach! haha! well written piece!
Great Story.!!! It brought back some very hot memories of some fun afternoons on my favorite beach that just happens to be clothing optional. Great to watch and even Greater to do
English
needs help
It needs serious help in basic grammer. In nearly every paragraph there is at least one instance of the construct word -- word, these can easily be removed using either a comma or just left out completely, no harm to the story will result and readers get a cleaner better story.
hot!!!!
I think it is brilliant. The story is as hot as the beach! haha! well written piece!
Great to watch and even Greater to do
Great Story.!!! It brought back some very hot memories of some fun afternoons on my favorite beach that just happens to be clothing optional. Great to watch and even Greater to do
Love it
Love your stories - wish you were still writing
Bill
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