All Comments  for

Pick up the Spare

byRejectReality©
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Comments (10)
by Anonymous

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by mzzqt01/20/09

Pretty good but...

You switched his son's name from Greg to Gary midstream. Perhaps if you had taken a little more time to build Greg into an actual character, his name would have been a little more important to you, and therefore, memorable. Loved the story as a whole though. Nice flow.

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by Anonymous01/20/09

Show me don't tell me

Just by merely mentioning in passing that this was a Valentine's Day story, you told me that it was. You failed to show me that it was. You disappointed me, the reader. You don't want to disappoint your readers because they will stop reading you.

Your story is better than many of the others, but not good enough to merit a higher score.

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by impressive01/20/09

Good luck in the contest!

~ Imp (Alessia Brio)

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by Anonymous01/20/09

Nice one

The best so far , the other contestents will have difficulty beating this story.

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by PrincessErin01/21/09

Hot

A very good story with a lot of hot steamy sex. Thanks.

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by Anonymous01/21/09

Wonderful!!

If you don't win their CRAZY!!! I absolutely loved this story you just keep getting better and better!! We want more. Keep'em Coming. Pun Intended.LOL.

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by Anonymous01/21/09

Super Sexy!

Awesome sex scenes! Best I've read in the competition yet.

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by PositiveThinker01/21/09

good story

Great dialogue and nicely written. My only complaint was with the name Katrina. I couldn't help but think of the hurricane (lol).

Good luck in the contest.

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by humminbean02/10/09

Can't wait for sequels!

Good hot lovin', and a nice touch where the old guy gets what the kid couldn't hold onto. God luck in the contest!

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by Anonymous12/06/11

oh my god!

every last one of your stories are extremely hot. and the mistakes minimal. keep up the writing. still insanely hard, and have cum 3 times just reading your set. fantastic job!

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