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Alicia and Her Ex-Stepdad

bylilamisakh©
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Comments (5)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous01/31/09

junk stupid writing

I stopped reading when the junk sentences began. Such as this:

“Ahh…ahh…ohh…mmmm…Victor…ohh…mmm,”

Aut hor needs to go back and proof read his material not once but several times to redo such garbage, either removing or changing to something readable.

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by Anonymous02/01/09

Proofread, proofread, Edit, and proofread again!

lilamisakh:

I understand from your bio that you love to read and write; two elements of communication that are extremely important to the human factor. But what I cannot comprehend is your lack of being able to form even a simple sentence that is neither fragmented or run-on. What's more, is the fact that you submitted seven (7) stories on the same day.

Perhaps you were keeping them from someone, and at last found the opportunity to submit them; sort of an "all or nothing" scenario. Whatever the case, you absolutely need some guidance.

Please understand, this story has a good deal of potential; that is why I scored it a 75% Some might say I was way too generous, but I did like the story. It's just very unfortunate that "Alicia and her Ex-Stepdad" was rife with errors in grammar and syntax that a 6th grade student would make. You can purchase a Basic English Grammar textbook at any used book store.

As mentioned, I really did like the story, lilamisakh. But, you have to remember that you are not writing for yourself; rather, you are writing for your audience. And be advised, some of those in your target audience can be very unrelenting.

Don't give up. Instead, Proofread, proofread, Edit, and proofread again!

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by nightwatcherine04/10/10

Don't understand why she's calling him Daddy. I mean, she always saw him as a man, he was never a father figure to her, makes no sense to change this attitude, now she's got the man (instead of him as a father)

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by Anonymous10/04/14

Strange story, but the ending was abrupt and pointless. Could have put some work into it.

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by Anonymous12/19/15

hot as fuck. My ex step dad was also a tennis coach and I'd kill to fuck him 😍

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