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English
Classic
Yes this is the very way things can develop between siblings. So easily it can happen. Nice slow development - nothing rushed. I like it. Let's see chapter 2 soon.
Very Good!
This author knows how to describe the frustrating tension that could be found between two people who want each other but are afraid to cross the divide between them. I hope that this is indeed the first of many interesting, well written, chapters.
Great!
Don't rush part II. Keep the slow pace you set for this chapter. When the story is rushed, it goes to shit.
Really good, but it could use some editing
Very hot story, but it is in need of some editing. Not saying this to bust your balls or anything, just trying to help you make it be the best that it possibly can be.
Great premise, great tension, keep writing!
5
hot ch.1
That was yummy.
The foot massage is a great turn on for either partner. But how can a man (even though its your brother) avoid not getting turned on, when a young woman decides to slide up and down his leg. Especially when he knows that she has just achieved an orgasm. Good stuff, thanks.
Good
Pretty damn good story (along with the others) but really horrible punctuation (commas, or lack of, in the wrong places, etc). You need to really work on that. Punctuation is as important as the story content. I've seen really bad stories with great punctuation and spelling. You got th ingredients for classic stuff. Just re-read your work when finished.
good but
good but you have to keep better track of what you write you said after watching tv with the parents they went to her room so he could massage her feet but then suddenly they are in his room very distracting keep better track and think about doing a rewrite to correct the goofs
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