You use the word 'fuck'. too often. Spoils the story.
by
Anonymous01/31/09
Editor please.
You need to get an editor. You switched back and forth so many times between hers and his when describing the sister that it was hard to follow the story.
by
Anonymous02/04/09
force?
i couldn't finish i hate stories that are have forced sex to much like rape incest or just sex should be consensual and loving
by
Anonymous02/12/09
that's perfection!
that was great to read a story like this. it is similar to how my brother and i got started. we had a lot of fun when no one was home and after school. brings back fond memories. we don't live under the same roof anymore but we have a 5 year old daughter together and we still play when his girlfriend's not around. hehe :-D
by
Anonymous07/14/12
Grammatical errors galore
Good story however with all the spelling and grammatical errors within the reading was difficult and sketchy... The switching of terms randomly was different an just how and when did Susie and her brother roll over so that she was on top the first time? Very disappoInted in the writer...
English
Good job
I enjoyed this!
Keep up the good work!
'Fuck'
You use the word 'fuck'. too often. Spoils the story.
Editor please.
You need to get an editor. You switched back and forth so many times between hers and his when describing the sister that it was hard to follow the story.
force?
i couldn't finish i hate stories that are have forced sex to much like rape incest or just sex should be consensual and loving
that's perfection!
that was great to read a story like this. it is similar to how my brother and i got started. we had a lot of fun when no one was home and after school. brings back fond memories. we don't live under the same roof anymore but we have a 5 year old daughter together and we still play when his girlfriend's not around. hehe :-D
Grammatical errors galore
Good story however with all the spelling and grammatical errors within the reading was difficult and sketchy... The switching of terms randomly was different an just how and when did Susie and her brother roll over so that she was on top the first time? Very disappoInted in the writer...
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