by newishsub
I can't help thinking that this is a really twisted thing to enter in the Valentine's Day contest. Making a point? Your writing's not bad, although this is really a snapshot instead of a story. I suppose that can make it intriguing, however. I would rather see this taken out of the V-Day contest, and just put up on lit. as a normal story. I don't really see any connection. I'll say no more since you said this was a true story.
your story raises all kinds of moral questions. I wondered how your story would change if you were the wife, if you'd achieved your aims. I'd also wonder about allying myself with someone who so happily betrayed his own wife without a second thought. Your skill as a story teller is good, but I don't like the story.
I love stories like this...passion and desire...longing for something that you can't always have but it's incredible when you actually DO get it. Very well written!!
I agree it's a well written story however I think it belongs in the Loving Wives category and the dialogue was a little forced.
By gosh this is the spirit of Valentine's Day. If this unfaithful husband has decided that he wants someone else outside of the vows fo marraige, he should ask his wife for a divorce on the grounds that the other woman and the unfaithful spouse can't control their passions. True love indeed.
Interesting tale and in reality, it is good to see a non-wimp husband story who acts like a male slut. Why not? Good to balance the scales after so much of the "wimp husband / slut wife" garbage that is posted on this site. Henceforth, it is easy to appreciate the author's efforts and applaud the twist in the plot. However, just like the "fucked up male wimp" stories - once a cheater, always a cheater. Take JPB's Betsy story for example [featured on the SOL site], the idiot husband allowed the slut/whore wife to live and actually stay in the marriage [Christ, what a complete fool]. As you can guess, the slut wife continued to whore herself out and almost gave the idiot husband the "never-ending gift" of aids before the jackass finally grew some balls and kicked her out. The moral of the story is; "once a cheater, always a slimeball cheater" - no matter what the gender is. Of course, it would be easy to address the "reconciliation at any cost" crowd with the same disdain as the cheaters - stupid is as stupid does. John
Seems to be a one-sided tale. Doesn't scream burning romance for the upcoming Valentines Day. Tale of infatuation with married man, yes. Cliche descriptions, yes. Perhaps there is potential, reach further to make your readers feel the passion, feel the unbridled love. I felt unconvinced of mutual love, I was left unmoved until the end.
strong writing, youngster. I have always been your biggest fan. These stories are funnest when they're true...
Excellent! Hot and Raw and full of pleasure and pain. I'm proud of you for submitting it.
the story is very well written. The pain from the woman is clear and the arrogance of the man is apparent. The telling of the deed is very hot! can't deny that but the whole story is so "Anti-Valentine"...
The HOT SEX is fine, but ultimately a sad slap at true romance. She's in painful love, and he's an arrogant cock. Well written, but a real downer.
That was exactly what I was looking for, something real, something focused, something to get me through the moment.
It's obvious that with good sex comes passion, and the sense that your partners needs are more important that yours.
Well, lol i just got done fucking the author and dame wat a dirty daddys girl she really is :)