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r-u serious?
try submitting by chapters instead of just dumping a thousand page tome and say, 'here.'
Very good, but toooo long
That's what they call good literature. But try to submit it in chapters, many more people wil read and appreciate it.
Read War & Peace....
in less time that that.... you gotta be kidding
Waaaayyyy to many details.
While the content was acceptable, the length was not. This should have been submitted in chapters, and honestly speaking when something is marked illustrated people want to see naked people/drawings to illustrate what is occurring not floor plans.
This needed to have been in a published book
not on line, way to long. The details sound like someone filling in a diary with meat. Ah well something for everyone and this is not for me. You could have made several, dozens, of short stories out of this.
so much effort for no one to read
There was so much work put into this story..but no one will ever really know. I agree it should have been done chapter style so that people who are interested in the longer stories could have found it. Listed as it is under illustrated leads one to other expectations.
Wow!
I will be honest that I didn't even try reading this story. It is way too long and needs to be broken into chapters. I know some great stories on here are longer, but anything over 3-5 screens is too much.
CHRIST!
What the hell? Sumbit in separate chapters. Give us a break!!
110 Pages
FFS, give us a break and submit this again, only this time do it in smaller chapters, (4 to 5 pages max), so we can at least read them one or two at a time.
it's like trying to read the encyclopedia brittanica in one sitting
Sorry but i have to give this a big fat zero for nothing else but the length of it.
hammingbyrd7 replies to comments:
I don't understand the severity of the criticism in the comments so far. I posted this story all at once as a gift, so the reader could control the pace of reading the story. You the reader decide when to stop or continue, not me. I'm offering a free book-length story. I don't mock you for passing this story by and not reading. Why do you mock me for writing?
Dear Author
I understand the authors frustration but I suggest that us silly readers have expectations.
One expectation is not to be surprised when approaching the bottom of the first page to see that it was longer than expected.
Author - try to understand that that shock resonated when at the bottom of 5 pages later it seemed to be growing before our many already tired eyes.
That caused frustration in many because while it and you are good or even very good we weren't prepared to see the numbers continue to roll on teasing us on or hating to give up or just plain wishing you had told us at the beginning how beeg this was so we could plan accordingly.
So please don't be offended - but do try to understand.
With High Regard
Piling on
Gave you 100, just because I had to rate it something. I figure it will balance out all the people who didn't read it and gave it a 00.
I'm going to pile on about the expectations. A 110 page (what does it translate to in a word document? 300+ I would imagine?) story is amazing, but too daunting for anybody.
Your explanation about letting the reader read at his own pace is a good point, but chapters are still the way to go. I don't know if they'd let you post 20 chapters all at once, but you could do 1 or 2 a day for half a month, and you'd still have it all available in an orderly fashion.
Chapters give people a good place to say "Okay, let's stop there for now." And while you have chapters in your book, the act of having to open a new story provides a much better "let's take a break" incentive.
I hope you'll resubmit. I distinctly remember another story that was 28 pages when it was submitted, and likewise trashed for its length. The author resubmitted it in 7 parts, and got lots of positive feedback.
Also, keep the illustrations, but see if you can get it labeled as something else. The diagrams may help your story, but they are most certainly not what people are looking for when the open an "illustrated" story.
Soo close to 100%
Well, well, - this was a fascinating read! I understand the reaction of the readers that were taken aback by the sheer length of this submission, - my reaction was similar when I first decided that I needed to know how long this story really was (somewhere around page 20...), - but I must say, persevering was very much worth while.
I have been a Sci-Fi fan for a very long time, and had no problem accepting the premises underlying the story. I did find the details all over the spectrum, from gripping to feeling like indulgence in personal fetishes. Overall, - I was impressed with the scope and depth of the story, and the blend of narrative and dialogue was excellent and believable.
Next on my list is to read the rest of your stories. I don't post comments very often, but this one impressed me. Well done!
Credit for Length and Breadth, Debit for Marketing
Positives First...The length is remarkable, and from the bits that I did read, the dialogue descriptions and whatnot were also more or less believable. Kudos to the author for such an undertaking.
While I must confess that I did not read the entirety of this submission due to the length, I did begin (somewhere around page 40) a fascinating game. It involved reading only the last paragraph on a page, and trying to fill in the gaps in the story myself. It was quite fascinating to read that way, and took far less time than it would have to read the entire megawork.
I also would like to echo the comments of previous posters regarding breaking the submission down into smaller chunks for easier processing, and about the placement of the story in "Illustrated" leading to certain expectations, most of which do not include mathematics or polygons.
One of the most difficult tasks an author faces in structuring his/her work is deciding where to make chapter breaks. This was done internally, and the motives make sense on the surface. But it's hard to completely make that argument work since an interested reader would (being invested in the story) have to say, "Okay, I'm on Chapter 13 now. That's on page 28 of the story." Each and every time he wanted to take a break. Maybe I'm a spoiled reader for expecting to not have to do that.
Good work.. too much and wrong place for it
This is a page turner story that was hard to put down, I found myself pushing to read further only to be rewarded with more and more story and no answers but many more questions about what happens next.
Your writing wonderful, I can not even image how long it took to write this and your attention to detail helped the story to a degree....
This the first Literotica story that I have ever had to get my calculator out for and the first one I wanted to [celsius to fahreinheit {C/5 = (F-32)/9} or Km to miles {Km = .62Miles} ....
An abbreviated or serialized version of this story should be presented in some other venue - this is not Literotica material. Your character and plot development is far too extensive. You should take this and sell it as a TV show (you have got 3 to 4 seasons @ 15 to 20 shows per season), make it into a sci-fi soap opera or a romance novel for geeks...
I could not finish it, considered it way to long for one uninterpted story, found this to be the wrong place to present this story. With your writing and attention to detail just present each of the sex scenes on here as a separate story, I actually did not see that many actual sex scenes in the parts that I read....
Find another venue to show your talents. Your gift is your writing your flaw is your choice of presentation both the length of the work and the market...
In the end I chose to balance a zero with a 100 to net to fifty... your work outweights your flaws
To the Author, Hammingbyrd7
hammingbyrd7 replies to comments:
02/20/09 by hammingbyrd7
I don't understand the severity of the criticism in the comments so far. I posted this story all at once as a gift, so the reader could control the pace of reading the story. You the reader decide when to stop or continue, not me. I'm offering a free book-length story. I don't mock you for passing this story by and not reading. Why do you mock me for writing?
If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
++++++++++++++++++
1. Antelope Valley
2. Close Encounter
3. Curse of the Blue Spirit
4. Kinetic
5. Life in the Tesseract
6. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Justic
7. Love's Equal Loss
8. Path of the Blue Spirit
9. Return Encounters
10. Undiscovered Countries
These are the stories you've written that I've read. And I liked almost all of them. Wherever they failed, if I judged them to fail, it's because of conceptualization and/or execution --- NOT because of length!
For me, the longer it is and more thought out, the better!
I have loved science fiction since high school and have read great masters like Heinlein, Bova, Baxter, Brin, Foster, Clark, Asimov, and others who are into science fiction and mathematics and physics and time travel.....
Let me say this: You are an extremely inventive and a very good writer. More than that, you're more generous than most, in offering most of your writings free.
I should tell you that ANTELOPE FREEWAY was one of the most interesting and, indeed, unique stories I've read, whether through free forums like this or from the store... Indeed, the whole inter-related series was great, but some chunks were better thought-out or more interestingly put together than others....
Don't waste your time on the illiterates who are bitching about the length of a story. Let them masturbate to the 2 paragraph-to-2-page they so desire.
Please, continue with your writing, your imagination --- the imagining and writing of these long, complete, and well reflected stories that go beyond silliness about some good hard working White man coming home and finding his glass-figure 45-year-old beautiful blond (previous totally faithful) fucking the local Black drug dealer who spends 10 hours on the phone and pumping iron in the "health" gym, all which requiring formerly faithful White bitches to satisfy him, to calm him down...
Yours is true writing, real stories of imagination, whether there is sex or not.... indeed, whether they work out or not, at the end,,, they are still real attempts at true story telling, not synopses for masturbatory purposes like 99 percent of the "stories" here in Literotica, which, of course, have their own uses, however fleeting...
Exceptional
Just read it in a sitting, really enjoyed it, Thanks!
A simple warning...
at the beginning of the story would have eliminated much of the frustration. Before reading a story, I always check the length. Do I want a quicky, or story of substance. I have to admit I was impressed that someone could maintain a train of thought for this length.
I would have given you 110% in appreciation for the number of pages.
Don't let the turkeys get you down!
Absolutely Fabulous
This story rivals anything that Heinlein could dream up.
Such a convoluted plot and work-thru. Kudos!! I enjoyed it as much as any of your prior stories and think that you should seek a print media publisher. Having read Sci-FI for more that 50 years, this is at the top of my list for Quality. I would also love to see another chapter of your "Preacher man" series. It was left unfinished.
An unexpected gem
Absolutely first rate! My only (minor) quibbles are:
1) I think the frat boys were refered to as party-crashers early on. Leads to an unanswered (I think) question regarding the party invitees. Totally random? Planned/directed? Outside of targeting college students, I am assuming random. For the effort and scale involved that seems like leaving a huge amount to chance. (But no more so than any of the other challenges faced, I suppose.)
2)So many math genuises around, automatically understanding what each other are talking about. Would be nice to have someone react with a dopey "Huh???" every once in a while :-) but so much that it interrupts the steamroller pacing.
3) At one point Doug has an inner "what a waste those weeks were" monologue. Was sort of hoping someone would (briefly) rehash that during the ceremony as a reason for their vote.
A great read!
What a truly fantastic bit of storytelling. I have always loved a good adventure/mystery story and this one was absolutely first rate. I love the way all the seemingly unrelated details all eventually fall into place. Honestly it's why I keep reading your stories. Great work; hope to see more of your work in the future!
Good Story
It is a shame there wasn't better illustrations in fact photos of the party would have been even better then we could have an inside to the party goers.
Encore! Encore!
I just finished the last page. This is one of those tales a reader finishes and then feels a touch of grief for having done so. Now I'm off to read more of hammingbyrd7's stories. I hope some of them will combine elements of some of my favorite authors (Rober Rimmer [Harrad Experiment] and Robert A. Heinlein [Stranger in a Strange Land]) in a manner similar to this one. First rate science fiction and first rate philosophy.
WOW
WHAT A STORY YOUR WORK GETS BETTER AND BETTER WITH EVERY STORY YOU WRITE. AN IMPRESSIVE UNDERTAKING TO WRITE A STORY OF THIS LENGTH AND BREADTH. KEEP UP THE INCREDIBLE WORK. I LOVE ALL OF YOUR STORIES THAT I HAVE READ. CAN NOT WAIT TILL YOUR NEXT SUBMISSION, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. THANK YOU FOR THE EXPERIENCE.
eXCELLANT
Thank you and I liked the fact that you published the lot at once. It was a marathon but well worth the read. S few types and some errors/questions in the plot but overall I think it was excellent. Thank you again. This would make a good bassis for a computer game. (With two versions G and X)
EXCELLENT READ
Very enjoyable, can't wait to read the rest of your stories. Thank you.
GREAT READ
What happen to Maddy? I really liked it. Was drawn in from the beginning to end. What's next?
Just... wow
I had been hoping for an extension of the preacher or backscatter for some months.... but wow, those dreams have been pleasantly banished by the next story i want to see continued.
Its a shame people had to vote a story badly just because they thought it was long, this deserves a 4.5-5.0/5.0 score. I hope more people override those few first votes after they read it.
amazing!
I have read most of your stories (novels) and as always enjoyed it a great deal! I love how your stories always seem to judge humanity and our religions, and then dare us to improve ourselves. Furthermore i am thoroughly impressed with your knowledge regarding the middle east. ' less relivent to this story' i can only assume that you grew up either as an israeli or from a near country. I also like how you criticize both sides of the middle east conflict in a fair manner.
Regarding this story i think it is ridiculous for someone to judge a story by it's length, espeically without reading it! Personally i don't like reading stories that are split into chapters. I do agree that this should hardly be considered illustrated though. You might consider changing its location or rather adding some more illustrative pictures. You know people, places, things. Not necessarily more floor diagrams. But some faces to go with the names would be nice.
Astounding and as usual, unusual.
It's My Party is a science fiction adventure novel that evokes Michael Crichton's best work. I've read many of the author's previous works including Backscatter, The Preacher Man, and the saga that ends with Antelope Freeway. I can again say I want to read more from Hammingbyrd7 and I would gladly pay to do so. Thank you for once again raising the bar for erotic fiction.
Re: last comment...I prescribe Xanax 4mg STAT.
I'm sorry you didn't get the Penthouse Forum stroke story you were expecting. You should check the page count not to mention your blood pressure before you stroke out (or read any more stories or novels on Lit). Great read. Bizarre and familiar at the same time. Thanks Hammingbyrd7.
"Enthralled Me to the End"
Another one of Hammingbyrd7's stories that enthralled me to the end. The creativity shown in the scenarios and social simulations are thought provoking beyond most published books I have read. Only problem I ran across was the need to read passages and pages twice or thrice to comprehend the visual picture being conveyed, but after understanding the radical implifications of each twist, my only choice was to mentally applaud. I wish I could share this with my friends instead of hiding stories like Kinetic and The Preacher Man.
For the critics who complain about it being to long... well if you dislike the format of the site, copy it to a text pad and split it up however you like for yourself. It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
Thank you Hammingbyrd7 for yet another thought provoking and entertaining novel.
Absolutly wonderful!
While this took me a 2 and a half day to read,
this story certainly had me enthralled right away.
I thoroughly enjoyed the high quality writing stile, conception of the story arches (together of course with the perfect amount of suspension added) and the beautiful images you created. Be that the constellations of characters, the dilemmas they are facing (in *every* aspect), the quality understanding of physics and a great sense of architecture.
Thought I have trouble getting the entire layout of the great hexagon into my mind (with all three levels - damn you - even the 6fold spiral is not an easy piece of work - but adding all the layers together: outside,surface, mall and deep-regions .... I haven't quite managed yet.)
I would truly like to see your ART published (for that it is) but have to sadly recognize that with the current societies viewpoint such an action will not be allowed to happen - at least not for the 'public' book-market.
Thank you very much for creating this great tale and sharing it with us,
best
-Shaya
Stunning... Absolutely Stunning
Well, I'm glad parts were illustrated, it certainly helped with visualizing all of the somewhat confusing locations.
My only real complaint about the story is that your students are all American University students, yet are measuring things in metric, something rather unheard of in the United States. Other than that, this is an outstanding story. I found the author through "Preacher Man", and I really haven't stopped reading their work yet. It's absolutely wonderful, and I look forward to the next novel!
you know the only thing wrong
with such a long story is that I try to read it all at once until my eyes can't take it, before I call it quits for another day. If a story is good I just don't want to stop. I can't believe readers prefer to wait months for a story to be finished ,and some never are finished, over a story that is complete. Read the story like a book, whether it's on paper or on the screen. What's the difference?
It just baffles my mind. Bitch because it's too long, bitch because it's to short. Bitch because it takes to long to be posted. Bitch because it never gets posted. Oh, well, thanks author for good entertainment.
Like the old 70s Sci-Fi novels
Once again you've posted an amazing piece of work. Reading this is like reading the Sci-Fi novels of old where it's more cerebral than action. Thank you so much for sharing your work. I hope you try to get published, even if it's just through ebook places like FictionWise.
That being said, a few tips. It's obvious you're a math wiz, but you need to realize that the majority of your readers won't be. It's ok to include all the detail, but like the conversations about the pyramid you need to be sure to actually explain it to the readers, generally using another character who isn't as knowledgeable. You were very good about explaining things in later chapters, but in the early ones I was completely lost. Also the diagrams were a big help, though for some odd reason they don't show up in the literotica iphone portal.
Another thing I'd like to point out is your not quite getting the female perspective down a lot of the times, especially in the intimate relationship aspects. A suggestion might be to find a female you're comfortable with who can help you. Isaac Asimov actually would have his wife roleplay out most the dialogue so it was more natural. Right now your scenes feel almost forced and obviously written by a male. If you're intent on including the intimacy then it's something you'll want to work on. Someone who's a writer or actor would be the biggest help. Please don't misundersand me. I'm not talking about the sex scenes, I'm talking about the intimate relationships like the ones with Mark and his wives. They just didn't seem realistic to me.
There were also a few spelling mistakes here and there, mostly mis-typings, so a spellchecker and a good editor (person not program) would also help.
Like others, I'd love to read more from this universe. Maybe one story 6-10 years down the line when the rest of the jobs open up, one story maybe a 100 or so years later once civilization has bloomed and the planet is fully populated, then possibly one later once they have to meet with the alien race.
Really though, I hope you're trying to get published. This is excellent quality work. Better than a lot of what's out there in bookstores nowadays.
Quality yet again.
Another amazing addition great story, the math was intergrated sublimely. I totally agree with the previous poster you should try to get your work published. Top quality.
Keep up the good work
Great work.
I am amazed at the negative comments and think they reflect more on the intellect of writer of the comments that the quality of the work they comment on. Some people are short sighted, self centered and intolerant!
I think this is a wonderful piece of science fiction. Thanks you for all the work on the story hammingbyrd7. I have appreciated this story, its depth and complexity. I have also enjoyed your other contributions and eagerly await your next one.
Dr Z
WOW, A Novel!
One of the better sci-fi books I've read lately. I've been glued to the computer all weekend! A nice surprise, the length, though I would like to know up front how long it is. I loved the math even though I did get lost early on in a rush to continue the story. Once again I love your writing and would buy the book. Still hoping for sequels to your other stories, espec close encounters and presacher man. Thanks!
Tl;dr
....
Thank you
I'm reading every story you wrote so far, I'm already a fan of your stories and this is the first time I leave a comment here.
I just want to say thank you so much for your incredible effort and for creating such lovely characters, when I understood this wasn't a story but a novel, my mind switched gears and took my time for read it, a week of delightful moments and ver little sleepling ^.^
The only thing I could observe in this particular work was... it ended!
I've no brain for math, so to fully understand it I had to research and study a bit, it was worth it. The hard SciFi the sexy parts and the depth of the characters of your novel made my time of read the best moment of my day.
Please, don't stop writing. And thank you so much again.
Chill out, people
I loved this story. While I agree that submitting it in installments would make it easier to leave and come back to (hence easier to read) and that "Illustrated" is definitely the wrong category for it, the work itself is almost unrivaled on Lit. The only things I've read that are as good, IMHO, are no longer available here because they're being published.
You don't rate something a zero if the work is excellent.
Fabulous
I have to admit, I found out about this site froma friend, and wasn't expecting to find amazing stories like this. I was without internet access for a while and ended up reading this on my phone for lack of anything to do. It filled my day wonderfully, and I was totally captivated by it. For people who complain about the length of it, it really isn't terribly difficult to figure out the number of pages of it before you start, and if you aren't in for the entire read, click the fabulous 'back' button and go somewhere else. It also isnt hard to bookmark where you left off so you can easily find it the next day...so why mark down something you haven't even read becuase of it?
That said, it was marvelous all the way through, I would love to read more from this world farther down in the timeline...how the children would be raised would be nice^_^
Brilliant SF!
My first comment here.
Thanks for an astonishing read. I really enjoyed the depth of character, and their gradual growth.
Very few typos and mistakes (sometimes you used the wrong names) or grammatical errors.
Only a few bones to pick. The understanding of physics and math of these college aged people was way beyond normal. It would have been more believable if they'd been grad students, a couple of years older, but still young enough to go to parties.
The final revelation was a little abrupt. More than 100 pages of gradually discovering what everything was about, and then filling in all of blanks in just a couple of paragraphs - it felt hurried. Needing a Blue Mall janitor to unlock more information, and thus having to search for the last missing group might have been a better option.
Still, this is a major accomplishment and a delightfully long and complex read. I've paid good money for less quality in the bookstores. Kudos.
Great story!
Don't let anyone stop you. One submisson, in chapters. Who cares? You keep writing, I'll keep reading.
Great story!
I seldom comment on stories here at all, but for this story i just had to make an exeption.
This is one of the the best scifi stories that i have ever read. Sure there is some math in there, but that is what SCIENCE fiction is all about :-)
For those readers that complained about the lenght... GET A LIFE! If you are not capable of dividing the story into "chapters" yourself as neccesary, you should probably stick to video instead....
To hammingbyrd7: You should definitivly try to get published. I know i would buy your stories anyway :-)
Baen books seems to be a good publisher, so why not try? The worst that can happen is that you get "no thanks" as a reply. I will certanly continue to read your stories anyway :-)
Thank you for a great read, and keep up the good work!
long, but good
You could have split that into twenty installments, but i kinda like the single installment
Next story should be 4 billion years later, when the evolved humanity shows the insect species that they are bigoted fucktards.
Great Story!
Don't listen to the idiots who say the story was too long or you should break it into chapters. They have no patience. It was a fascinating read; it took me a week (with family and work a higher priority) to finish. I'd love to see additional stories in this story line. Your characters are well developed, you have an obsession with detail, and the theme of forgiveness permeated the tome.
Excellent!
I haven't read all your stories, but the ones I've read so far I've enjoyed immensely. I love science fiction and your quality is excellent, especially when you consider the length and price (free!) of such an offering.
Ignore the people who wanted to break it into chapters, it's great having it as one big piece. I do think a brief warning at the start would have been nice though. If you can, I would suggest trying to get this into the novels and novellas category, where people go to expect a long read.
As for those early commenters, can you imagine where they are coming from? They might have found this under "new" and with the title and brief description you gave, as well as it being under the illustrated category, it's easy to see how they came to the wrong initial impression. They were possibly looking for something quick and easy to get their rocks off and you presented them with a sci-fi novel with plenty of maths and no nude drawing/pics anywhere to be seen! What a disappointment that might have been.
Anyway, I came to this story because I liked your other stories, not because it was in the illustrated category.
I skipped over a lot of the math, and I did disagree with your characters about making a new religion. I liked that it was a tolerant sort of spiritualism more than a religion, but still.
Keep up the good work! If you were a published author I would buy your books.
Thank You
This really is not an "erotic" story in the traditional sense. Yes, there's some sex in many forms, but it's really a soap opera, mystery, techno-thriller, science fiction piece all rolled in to one. Very well done. I have read a lot of books I found far less addictive.
Is the story long? Yes. Is it too long? Well, I didn't want it to end...so..NO.
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