All Comments on 'Blood and Lust'

You need an editor who knows the difference between "quiet" and "quite"

The sudden change from past to present tense is annoying

Dull sex with nothing new to add

Very good story. Didn't expect it to end the way it did so very good twist. Watch your grammar. Keep up the good work.

The story is allright. The author needs to correct the grammar, verbage and sentence construction.

Hi Sieren -- I love tall, dark, mysterious men who send the pulses racing! I enjoyed the story - it's a very sexy fantasy, but I agree that a bit more punctuation will help your stories flow much better, and be easier to read. Just for an example (and is offered to help not to criticize):<br><br>

<i>I jump with a start and scramble to the other side of the bed with one word running through my mind "Vampire" but for some reason I was unafraid. I had read about vampires and was one of few who actually believed but I never thought I would meet one and if I did I figured my blood would run cold with fear but in actuality it began to boil in anticipation but I had to ask to make sure. </i><br><br>

Here is what I would suggest: I jumped up with a start and scrambled to the other side of the bed. One word was running through my mind -- Vampire! -- but for some reason, I was unafraid. I had read about vampires and was one of the few who actually believed, but I never thought I would meet one. If I ever did, I figured that my blood would run cold with fear. In actuality, my blood began to boil with anticipation, but I had to confirm my suspicions.<br><br>

Oh, and just double check to be sure you stay in either present or past tense. I personally prefer past tense, retelling your readers something that has already happened, but either way is good, as long as you stick with one or the other. <br><br>

I look forward to future stories posted by you :)

awesome story would love you to continue on how they fall in love and as she grows older he turns her so they will not be seperated

Really good story - fun, dark, with a potential for more. As it was said before, pay attention to your spelling, grammar and punctuation, as it detracts from your storytelling.